Grand Jury: How to get out of it.

Serious Business Backup 57 replies 2,076 views
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:01pm
I have to report for Grand Jury tomorrow. I read its for 3 months. I have vacation at the end of next month. I'm gonna be beyond pissed if I have to miss vacation for fuckin jury duty. How do you get outta it?
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Mar 2, 2010 10:04pm
Just claim you know the defendant.
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:05pm
ccrunner609 wrote: I would arrive drunk.
That was gonna happen regardless.
pmoney25's avatar
pmoney25
Posts: 1,787
Mar 2, 2010 10:06pm
Just say you are racist or homophobic, something along those lines.
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Mar 2, 2010 10:07pm
I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:08pm
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
D
DESCENTdmc
Posts: 372
Mar 2, 2010 10:09pm
if either of the attorneys is female sleep with one or both and brag about it and get yourself removed
I
I Wear Pants
Posts: 16,223
Mar 2, 2010 10:10pm
I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
G
Gardens35
Posts: 4,929
Mar 2, 2010 10:11pm
If you're using that excuse to get out of being seated on a Grand Jury you'll need to know a whole bunch of defendants......
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Mar 2, 2010 10:11pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
Show up drunk then :)
G
Gardens35
Posts: 4,929
Mar 2, 2010 10:12pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
Just saw this post.
september63's avatar
september63
Posts: 5,789
Mar 2, 2010 10:12pm
Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:13pm
I Wear Pants wrote: I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
Ya I've graduated from college though. Won't work for me.
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Mar 2, 2010 10:14pm
Tell them you have a non refundable trip paid for
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:14pm
september63 wrote: Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
I can also golf on vacation in April too.
rookie_j70's avatar
rookie_j70
Posts: 677
Mar 2, 2010 10:15pm
wear a shirt with a swastika on it
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Mar 2, 2010 10:15pm
rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Mar 2, 2010 10:16pm
Take a loaded gun with you
iclfan2's avatar
iclfan2
Posts: 6,360
Mar 2, 2010 10:18pm
Tell them you believe in the death penalty, for everything.
D
DESCENTdmc
Posts: 372
Mar 2, 2010 10:27pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
just find a shirt with that charles manson pic on it. its worked for regular jury duty a few times for a guy i iknow
David St. Hubbins's avatar
David St. Hubbins
Posts: 205
Mar 2, 2010 10:36pm
Tell them you think all criminals should beaten then shot in the street. Also, casually drop some racial slurs as if you use them regularly.
I
I Wear Pants
Posts: 16,223
Mar 2, 2010 10:39pm
Wear a CCCP shirt.

Like so:
S
Sonofanump
Mar 2, 2010 10:53pm
Most judges will just have you sit in the back and witness if you try to get out of it using some of the suggestions above.
Apple's avatar
Apple
Posts: 2,620
Mar 2, 2010 10:54pm
just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

:D
september63's avatar
september63
Posts: 5,789
Mar 2, 2010 11:00pm
Apple wrote: just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

:D
This. ...... But i wonder though, 25 replies later, why am I the only person to suggest just follow through with your civic duty and golf the next time?