Grand Jury: How to get out of it.

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ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:01 PM
I have to report for Grand Jury tomorrow. I read its for 3 months. I have vacation at the end of next month. I'm gonna be beyond pissed if I have to miss vacation for fuckin jury duty. How do you get outta it?
Mar 2, 2010 10:01pm
se-alum's avatar

se-alum

The Biggest Boss

13,948 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:04 PM
Just claim you know the defendant.
Mar 2, 2010 10:04pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:05 PM
ccrunner609 wrote: I would arrive drunk.
That was gonna happen regardless.
Mar 2, 2010 10:05pm
pmoney25's avatar

pmoney25

Senior Member

1,787 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:06 PM
Just say you are racist or homophobic, something along those lines.
Mar 2, 2010 10:06pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:07 PM
I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
Mar 2, 2010 10:07pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:08 PM
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
Mar 2, 2010 10:08pm
D

DESCENTdmc

Senior Member

372 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:09 PM
if either of the attorneys is female sleep with one or both and brag about it and get yourself removed
Mar 2, 2010 10:09pm
I

I Wear Pants

Senior Member

16,223 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:10 PM
I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
Mar 2, 2010 10:10pm
G

Gardens35

Senior Member

4,929 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:11 PM
If you're using that excuse to get out of being seated on a Grand Jury you'll need to know a whole bunch of defendants......
Mar 2, 2010 10:11pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:11 PM
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
Show up drunk then :)
Mar 2, 2010 10:11pm
G

Gardens35

Senior Member

4,929 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:12 PM
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
Just saw this post.
Mar 2, 2010 10:12pm
september63's avatar

september63

Senior Member

5,789 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:12 PM
Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
Mar 2, 2010 10:12pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:13 PM
I Wear Pants wrote: I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
Ya I've graduated from college though. Won't work for me.
Mar 2, 2010 10:13pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:14 PM
Tell them you have a non refundable trip paid for
Mar 2, 2010 10:14pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:14 PM
september63 wrote: Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
I can also golf on vacation in April too.
Mar 2, 2010 10:14pm
rookie_j70's avatar

rookie_j70

Senior Member

677 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:15 PM
wear a shirt with a swastika on it
Mar 2, 2010 10:15pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:15 PM
rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
Mar 2, 2010 10:15pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:16 PM
Take a loaded gun with you
Mar 2, 2010 10:16pm
iclfan2's avatar

iclfan2

Reppin' the 330/216/843

6,360 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:18 PM
Tell them you believe in the death penalty, for everything.
Mar 2, 2010 10:18pm
D

DESCENTdmc

Senior Member

372 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:27 PM
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
just find a shirt with that charles manson pic on it. its worked for regular jury duty a few times for a guy i iknow
Mar 2, 2010 10:27pm
David St. Hubbins's avatar

David St. Hubbins

Senior Member

205 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:36 PM
Tell them you think all criminals should beaten then shot in the street. Also, casually drop some racial slurs as if you use them regularly.
Mar 2, 2010 10:36pm
I

I Wear Pants

Senior Member

16,223 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:39 PM
Wear a CCCP shirt.

Like so:
Mar 2, 2010 10:39pm
S

Sonofanump

Mar 2, 2010 10:53 PM
Most judges will just have you sit in the back and witness if you try to get out of it using some of the suggestions above.
Mar 2, 2010 10:53pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Mar 2, 2010 10:54 PM
just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

:D
Mar 2, 2010 10:54pm
september63's avatar

september63

Senior Member

5,789 posts
Mar 2, 2010 11:00 PM
Apple wrote: just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

:D
This. ...... But i wonder though, 25 replies later, why am I the only person to suggest just follow through with your civic duty and golf the next time?
Mar 2, 2010 11:00pm