Still living with parents ….why?

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Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:20 AM
At what age should you move out of the house?
What are some (excuses) why you are not out yet? Or you ( as a parent) have not made the kids move out?

I moved out of my house at 18 years old. I was still in high school but was working mid nights at Republic Steel. Drafted into the military returned home at the age of 21 for a few months but moved out and when to college I was 22 years old.

My three daughters;
The oldest move out at 19 years old but moved back later that year to raise my granddaughter. Moved out for good at 22 years old and got married.

Middle daughter when to college at 18 years old in Michigan and never came home for the summers had a job with the college over the summer. She moved back home at the age of 27 year old last summer when her husband lost his job. Their whole family, stayed for 6 months.

Youngest daughter moved out at 18 years old to go to college in Michigan came back for two summers to work and live. The last three years of her college she came home to live off and on between internship and study abroad program. She officially moved out at 23 years old after graduation for college and landing an Architectural Position in Chicago.
Jan 28, 2010 11:20am
V

v_falcons

Senior Member

447 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:24 AM
Im 23 now, moved out when I was 20 or so..would NEVER move back...love being on my own, hate the bills/mortgage, but it's worth it..
Jan 28, 2010 11:24am
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:25 AM
Moved out of my parents' place into dorms when I was 18, went back for Christmas break and decided I couldn't do this and got my own place at the end of Freshman year and haven't moved back since.
Jan 28, 2010 11:25am
jordo212000's avatar

jordo212000

Senior Member

10,664 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:30 AM
In college now. Still live at home during breaks, but I graduate in May, so we'll see if I am able to get a job and finally move out for good
Jan 28, 2010 11:30am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:32 AM
Moved out when I was 18 and then back in one year ago when I was 24. It has it's positives and negatives. I am currently paying school loans, just bought a new (to me) car and am saving to get my own place. I hope to move out sometime this fall or winter.
Jan 28, 2010 11:32am
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:33 AM
23 year old daughter came home the first 2 summers of college, worked summers after that and has been on her own since.
19 year old son is in his first year of college and I'm expecting him to return at least this summer.
18 year old daughter will graduate hs this year and will be attending Ashland. She's very independent and I'm sure will be very much like daughter #1.
13 year old son, can't get rid of him for anything. Keeps globing onto us and won't go away. We even tried moving and not telling him.
But seriously, our kids know that they could always come home if they need to. We would never let them be bums, but would always help them out in anyway we could.
Jan 28, 2010 11:33am
stroups's avatar

stroups

Senior Member

3,223 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:34 AM
Moved out when I was 17 to go to college. Transferred back home when I was 20 and am currently still living at home now (22). I am waiting to get a decent paying job before I get an apartment. I am only really home to eat and sleep and then I am gone doing stuff with my friends.
Jan 28, 2010 11:34am
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:36 AM
Moved out when I was 18 to go to College at UT. Only stayed at toledo for a year and transfered to Akron U and lived with Goldenboy26 off campus. Moved up to Cuyahoga falls for a few years, then moved in with a buddy in Coventry for a year. Graduated and moved to Sunbury with an ex gf who go a job at Riverside Hospital ..found my current job, broke up, and moved back home to Massillon in an apartment for a few years. Lived with a buddy for a few months b/w the apartment lease being up and getting a house.
Jan 28, 2010 11:36am
B

bamagirl

Senior Member

154 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:41 AM
Plain and simple....cannot afford it.
Jan 28, 2010 11:41am
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:42 AM
Moved out when I was 18 when I went to college in Lima. Moved back in when I graduated. Moved back out at 22. Lived with the in-laws for a couple of years since then. (Don't EVER do that!!!) But finally was able to buy a house and settle down.
Jan 28, 2010 11:42am
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:43 AM
I think there is a point where you need to cut the apron strings. I used to work with this very weird guy who was 40 and still lived at home with mom and dad. This guy was the 40 Year Old Virigin long before they made a movie about it.

That being said, I have no problem with someone who moves back in on a temporary basis to get a few things in order at a certain point in their life (after a divorice, single parent taking care of an infant, right after college, etc.).
Jan 28, 2010 11:43am
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:47 AM
My wifes aunt still lives with her parents..she's about 45. She has never lived on her own. She helps her parents out around the house now. She's happy. Her parents are happy. Guess there isn't anything wrong with that.
Jan 28, 2010 11:47am
krambman's avatar

krambman

Senior Member

3,606 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:48 AM
Not exactly sure when I moved out. I moved into the dorms my freshman year of college (I went to school in Chicago, lived in Columbus) but lived at home over Christmas and Summer breaks. After my Junior year I had an internship so I didn't live at home that summer. That fall my parents moved to Idaho, so I moved all of my stuff out of the house and put it in storage. I then spent a semester living with my grandparents and another 9 months at a later time after I finished college while I was looking for a job (I was working as a server at Olive Garden, so I was working but it wasn't a career-type job). Technically I wasn't living with my grandparents though, I was a renter because i did pay rent every month. I did find a job and moved into my own apartment right after my 24th birthday.

I would say that pretty much any kid needs to move out by the time they are done with college. If, however, they are unemployed or working in a job that doesn't really allow them to live on their own yet then I think it's acceptable for them to still live at home, but I think they should have to pay some kind of rent at that point (just like I did). I think that the child needs to be actively pursuing job options and trying to move out on their own and not just mooch off of their parents as long as they can. Also, like Little Danny said, I think there can be other life circumstances with may allow or even necessitate moving back in with family.
Jan 28, 2010 11:48am
Laley23's avatar

Laley23

GOAT

29,506 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:51 AM
Just graduated college in May. Im 24 and living at home until I can save enough to move out. My industry is really hurting right now with the economy and jobs are hard to come by.
Jan 28, 2010 11:51am
T

trackandccrunner

Senior Member

1,283 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:52 AM
When I was 18 I went off to college and hardly went back home. I've never been big on living at home. then when I graduated I had trouble finding a good job and my mom was having health problems so I came back home. I hoping to get a good job here soon and get out of my mom's house.
Jan 28, 2010 11:52am
McFly1955's avatar

McFly1955

Senior Member

1,441 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:52 AM
Married, got my bachelor's, and moved out all at age 22.....
Jan 28, 2010 11:52am
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:53 AM
I could finally afford it at 19, then promptly blew all my money by 20 and moved back in. As soon as I graduated college I moved out and haven't looked back. I think the limit is when the kid is ready (psychologically and monetarily). Parents have to be supportive though, if your kid fails on the first few attempts, you gotta let them back in. now if by 35, you're still in the parents' house, both have failed.
Jan 28, 2010 11:53am
Cleveland Buck's avatar

Cleveland Buck

Troll Hunter

5,126 posts
Jan 28, 2010 11:59 AM
Moved out at 18 and have never moved back in. Don't even think I would be allowed to move back in.
Jan 28, 2010 11:59am
B

baseballstud24

Senior Member

547 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:01 PM
Moved into the dorms at 18...lived with my parents my sophomore year. Moved in with my girlfriend my junior year and have been living with her ever since...I'm 24 almost 25 now and doing fine.
Jan 28, 2010 12:01pm
mucalum49's avatar

mucalum49

Senior Member

1,639 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:03 PM
Moved out at 18 to go to college and lived on my own for 4 years with the last 2 in a house with my friends.

Upon graduation I got a job about 12 miles from my parents house so I moved in with them again and worked there for a year. Now that I saved up money from the job I am living off of that during this year I am back in college. Graduation this summer is August 14th, 3 days after my 24th bday. Once I secure a job I am back out on my own (actually with my gf).
Jan 28, 2010 12:03pm
J

jmog

Senior Member

6,567 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:27 PM
My general rule of "thumb" is this...

If you go to college-within a few months of finding your first post college job you should find an apartment on your own.

If you don't go to college-within a year or so of finding your first post HS full time job you should find an apartment on your own.

If you get married, no matter which category you fall in above, you should be living with your spouse and not your parents.

I got married while I was a junior in college and moved out of my parents house the week of the wedding into the apartment my wife had been renting.

I have moved back in with my parents with my family when I got laid off once, but moved back out as soon as I was employed again.
Jan 28, 2010 12:27pm
mcburg93's avatar

mcburg93

permaban to basement

3,167 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:28 PM
moved out at 18 then back in at 20 moved out again till 32 when my dad had his stroke and heart attack so now just helping with him and mom the last two years. Wanted to move out but mom says she cant do it on her own so I bucked up and decided to help take care of my dad.
Jan 28, 2010 12:28pm
G

Gameover

Senior Member

150 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:44 PM
Moved out while attending college out of state, home for a couple months in summer. Moved out for good at 25. I was in a training program for work and didn't know where I would end up. There was no reason to waste money on rent while I could live with my parents. I was able to pay off 3 out of 4 credit cards in those two years out of college.
Jan 28, 2010 12:44pm
I

I Wear Pants

Senior Member

16,223 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:49 PM
I'm 20 and I still live at home because it's free and I'm lacking in the money department being in school.

I need a job pretty badly right now and I'm working on that but I'll likely stick around a while anyway.

It's not like my parents are really controlling or anything, I do what I want. I just get free rent and food.
Jan 28, 2010 12:49pm
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Jan 28, 2010 12:56 PM
Got married right out of college. Lived with the parents for a few months while the house we bought was being remodeled. Ended up getting an apartment for about three months after that didn't go so well.

Then a few years later my then-father-in-law moved in with us when the in-laws separated/divorced. Problem was, we had a really small house (supposedly we had a five year plan) and a toddler so the FIL slept on the couch. Six months later, my now ex and I separated/divorced and three months after that I STILL had a drunk dude sleeping on my couch.

Divorce was tough financially and I always thought I should sell or rent the house and live with the parents while I had nothing else going on to save a bit of cash, but I just couldn't 1) accept the stigma in my own mind and 2) stand the thought of seeing my parents on a daily basis.
Jan 28, 2010 12:56pm