Posted in the "site feedback" section of another forum....
FairwoodKing
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Can you tell your father you love him?[/h] [INDENT] My father and I were very close. Every day I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me. We had no hesitation in saying this. And then when Dad moved out to Seattle with me when he was 93 years old, he often saw some of my gay friends come to the house and kiss me on the lips. Dad loved it. He wanted me to kiss him on the lips, which I often did.
When he turned 96 and was dying in the hospital, I would visit him every day. The last thing I would say to him as I was leaving was, "Dad, I love you." I can't tell you how many times male doctors and nurses came up to me and said they could never say that to their fathers and how wonderful it was that I could. That made me very sad.
On the day he died, I was the one who requested to pull the plug. Dad's quality of life was down to zero. He couldn't talk because of a tube in his throat. He had no TV or anything else. He just had to lie there and stare at the ceiling. I finally couldn't take it any longer and I told the doctors to disconnect his ventilator. They agreed. Dad was very conscious and very alert when they gave him an injection to put him to sleep before they turned the vent off. I sat there and held his hand during the entire process. When he was still awake, I told him over and over how much I loved him. When he ultimately passed, I was holding his hand. A minister from the hospital stayed with us and said a prayer. I broke into uncontrollable tears. It was the saddest day of my life. I don't even know how I drove home. It was a 30-mile drive through heavy traffic. When I got home, I was so rattled I crashed into my mailbox and knocked the side mirror off my car. Then I called my best friend and asked him to come over, which he did. I spent the bulk of the evening calling friends and relatives.
I hope you love your parents while they are still around. Believe me, when they are gone, you will miss them. And don't ever hesitate to tell your father that you love him. He will appreciate it and so will you. [/INDENT]