Funny Coach Stories

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like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Apr 9, 2013 12:21 PM
The whole Mike Rice situation made me think about how coaches in the past could have easily gotten away with that, and nobody would have had a problem with it. There are some old timers here, just wondering if you guys have any funny stories to share about your coaches. Although my coaches are old school, I am not that old, and they didn't do anything out of the ordinary that would bring the lulz.

A couple stories I heard from my other coach who wrestled for Massillon Perry brings the lulz. If anyone knows Dave Riggs, apparently he is a hardass. One story consisted of making a bus stop 2 miles away from the hosting school of the tournament (in the snow), and making his wrestler run all the way to the school in order to make weight.

Another story involved one of his wrestlers fooling around with an All State football player's (offensive tackle) girlfriend. The football player found out that the wrestler (all of 130 pounds) was messing with his GF. So, he found his way in the wrestling locker room, and punched the kid in the face a couple times. Blood was every where. After the football player left, Riggs comes out of his office and asks wtf happened. The teammates tell him the story, and Riggs looks at the kid and says "shouldn't have messed with his girlfriend."
Apr 9, 2013 12:21pm
wildcats20's avatar

wildcats20

In ROY I Trust!!

27,794 posts
Apr 9, 2013 12:25 PM
My freshman basketball coach was known for his one liners. I went a couple games without taking a shot and then in one of the following practices I took a shot and he stopped practice and said "holy hell shit fire and applesauce, Jake shot the ball"
Apr 9, 2013 12:25pm
T

Tiernan

Senior Member

13,021 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:10 PM
I always said nights before games don't be out messin' around with Sally Hotpants...get a good nights rest. Couple of years ago one of my Seniors chuckles and says "Coach...there hasn't been any girls named Sally in 25 years." So now I say don't be out messin around all night with Brittney Hotpants.

...of course the little bastards dont know what Hotpants are either, but they get the point.
Apr 9, 2013 1:10pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:14 PM
My wrestling coach was an ex-yankee. When we used to run in the gym he would get a paddle and if he caught someone he would crack the shit out of them. The only part of wrestling I was ever any good at was the running, lol.
Apr 9, 2013 1:14pm
Mohican00's avatar

Mohican00

Dirty White Boy

3,394 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:19 PM
Tiernan;1422262 wrote:I always said nights before games don't be out messin' around with Sally Hotpants...get a good nights rest. Couple of years ago one of my Seniors chuckles and says "Coach...there hasn't been any girls named Sally in 25 years." So now I say don't be out messin around all night with Brittney Hotpants.

...of course the little bastards dont know what Hotpants are either, but they get the point.
I had to google hotpants.
Apr 9, 2013 1:19pm
G

gut

Senior Member

15,058 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:20 PM
FatHobbit;1422263 wrote:My wrestling coach...would get a paddle and if he caught someone he would crack the **** out of them.
That sounds really, really super gay.
Apr 9, 2013 1:20pm
G

Gblock

Apr 9, 2013 1:21 PM
my freshmen year at muskingum we were playing at ohio northern and getting beat at halftime. on the way to the locker room someone jumped over a puddle which sent the coach jeff heacock into a blind rage. he started the rant by dumping water in the said players shoes and then lined up the seniors and went down the line and called each one a pu$$y on at a time. it sounde like this .."pu$$y,pu$$y,pu$$ypu$$y, one great big pile of pu$$yflesh!" funny stuff.

i have to add another funny story from that same game. my roomate was also a backup punter and basically we had been standing there freezing for 2 hours. he had two cans of copenhagen in the front of his pants and no warmups and got called in to punt late in the 4th. it was windy and the punt went straight up in the air and landed on the original line of scrimmage. and kicked back for a small loss.

he comes to the sidelines and no one says a word until finally one of the assistants shouts ..jesus christ reed that was like a tecmo bowl punt with no power!

good times
Apr 9, 2013 1:21pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:24 PM
gut;1422268 wrote:That sounds really, really super gay.
I never thought of it that way. It was 7th grade through 9th grade and the gym had an elevated walkway so we had run up the stairs on one side and down the stairs on the other side. I've coached kids and I always had a few I could never get to run. We had a couple of fatties and there was nobody in our practices who didn't run.
Apr 9, 2013 1:24pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Apr 9, 2013 1:28 PM
I told my CC/Track coach to "suck it" at practice one day and he made me leave.

It was worth it.
Apr 9, 2013 1:28pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:30 PM
dlazz;1422274 wrote:I told my CC/Track coach to "suck it" at practice one day and he made me leave.

It was worth it.
I thought you were going to say that he took you up on the offer.
Apr 9, 2013 1:30pm
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:35 PM
ernest_t_bass;1422278 wrote:I thought you were going to say that he took you up on the offer.
It was CCrunner so he probably did
Apr 9, 2013 1:35pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Apr 9, 2013 1:39 PM
Raw Dawgin' it;1422289 wrote:It was CCrunner so he probably did
You were there? No? Then you don't know.
Apr 9, 2013 1:39pm
W

Wally

Senior Member

481 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:48 PM
My old baseball coach had been retired a couple years when they talked him into coaching the freshman basketball team. That had a road game that was a pretty long trip. They got beat bad. Coach was fuming but the players didn't seem too upset-which upset coach even more. The players started singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall. (Coach was very much against drinking also) The bus pulls into the parking lot and he pops up and cheerfully asks "So, how many bottles are left on the wall?" Some kid yells 68! He sternly points his finger at them and says "tomorrows practice starts with 68 laps then. You better be there early."
Apr 9, 2013 1:48pm
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Apr 9, 2013 1:48 PM
dlazz;1422294 wrote:You were there? No? Then you don't know.
you mad? lol wtf did you expect with a comment like that? "hey guys, i told my coach to suck it! once. Yeah that's it, end of story"

Our baseball coach would made you run a mile for every missed sign and error you had during a game at the next practice. I was horrible with signs, i'd run about 2-3 miles at those practices.
Apr 9, 2013 1:48pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Apr 9, 2013 1:51 PM
Raw Dawgin' it;1422297 wrote:you mad?
No, I was being a douche on purpose. You must be new here.
Apr 9, 2013 1:51pm
said_aouita's avatar

said_aouita

Banned

8,532 posts
Apr 9, 2013 2:36 PM
The old Graham athletic building which doubled as the wrestling room in the winter. Metal siding walls and a couple sets of double doors.
The wooden double doors were the most common target to throw wrestlers through into the shower/trainer area by both the head coach and wrestlers.
The metal double doors near the water fountain went outside and were locked. If you got thrown through those doors and were not fast enough you'd get locked out and have to run around the building to get back in.
No punches are allowed but throwing another wrestler into the metal walls (everyone hears the BANG) is fine.
Many studs spent a lot of times going through the doors when wrestling the coach.
Apr 9, 2013 2:36pm
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Apr 9, 2013 2:48 PM
said_aouita;1422342 wrote:The old Graham athletic building which doubled as the wrestling room in the winter. Metal siding walls and a couple sets of double doors.
The wooden double doors were the most common target to throw wrestlers through into the shower/trainer area by both the head coach and wrestlers.
The metal double doors near the water fountain went outside and were locked. If you got thrown through those doors and were not fast enough you'd get locked out and have to run around the building to get back in.
No punches are allowed but throwing another wrestler into the metal walls (everyone hears the BANG) is fine.
Many studs spent a lot of times going through the doors when wrestling the coach.
That's not a funny coach story. Thanks.
Apr 9, 2013 2:48pm
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Apr 9, 2013 2:52 PM
said_aouita;1422342 wrote:The old Graham athletic building which doubled as the wrestling room in the winter. Metal siding walls and a couple sets of double doors.
The wooden double doors were the most common target to throw wrestlers through into the shower/trainer area by both the head coach and wrestlers.
The metal double doors near the water fountain went outside and were locked. If you got thrown through those doors and were not fast enough you'd get locked out and have to run around the building to get back in.
No punches are allowed but throwing another wrestler into the metal walls (everyone hears the BANG) is fine.
Many studs spent a lot of times going through the doors when wrestling the coach.
like_that;1422348 wrote:That's not a funny coach story. Thanks.
Yeah I don't get this? Granted I know little about wrestling, but how do you go from grappling on mats to just randomly being thrown out doors??
Apr 9, 2013 2:52pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Apr 9, 2013 3:01 PM
said_aouita;1422342 wrote:The old Graham athletic building which doubled as the wrestling room in the winter. Metal siding walls and a couple sets of double doors.
The wooden double doors were the most common target to throw wrestlers through into the shower/trainer area by both the head coach and wrestlers.
The metal double doors near the water fountain went outside and were locked. If you got thrown through those doors and were not fast enough you'd get locked out and have to run around the building to get back in.
No punches are allowed but throwing another wrestler into the metal walls (everyone hears the BANG) is fine.
Many studs spent a lot of times going through the doors when wrestling the coach.
Nothing about a coach in there, just a fail description. IPOTW.
Apr 9, 2013 3:01pm
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Apr 9, 2013 3:05 PM
friendfromlowry;1422350 wrote:Yeah I don't get this? Granted I know little about wrestling, but how do you go from grappling on mats to just randomly being thrown out doors??
As a wrestler, I can see that. Some wrestling rooms are... unique. So, I am sure this wrestling room there were doors on the walls of the wrestling room that led to the area he was speaking of. I just don't see how this relates to the theme of the thread.
Apr 9, 2013 3:05pm
Pick6's avatar

Pick6

A USA American

14,946 posts
Apr 9, 2013 3:11 PM
Gblock;1422269 wrote:my freshmen year at muskingum we were playing at ohio northern and getting beat at halftime. on the way to the locker room someone jumped over a puddle which sent the coach jeff heacock into a blind rage. he started the rant by dumping water in the said players shoes and then lined up the seniors and went down the line and called each one a pu$$y on at a time. it sounde like this .."pu$$y,pu$$y,pu$$ypu$$y, one great big pile of pu$$yflesh!" funny stuff.

i have to add another funny story from that same game. my roomate was also a backup punter and basically we had been standing there freezing for 2 hours. he had two cans of copenhagen in the front of his pants and no warmups and got called in to punt late in the 4th. it was windy and the punt went straight up in the air and landed on the original line of scrimmage. and kicked back for a small loss.

he comes to the sidelines and no one says a word until finally one of the assistants shouts ..jesus christ reed that was like a tecmo bowl punt with no power!

good times
sounds a lot like 'skangum.


One practice sticks out to me. I dont think it was really funny, just a huge pain in the ass. We had a hill that we would run for conditioning, which was right behind our field. We were having a really shitty practice and had to run probably 100 hills that day, and im not even exaggerating. Coach was super pissed. Reasons include: not completing a trick play, my cousin "suggesting" we run the play different, our center spitting on our coach by accident. And the best.....it was wet that day and our lineman adjusted his thigh pad. It make a squeaking noise and coach thought he farted, so we ran hills for that too.
Apr 9, 2013 3:11pm
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Apr 9, 2013 3:15 PM
Fair enough.

Like Dlazz, I also had ccrunner as a coach. I don't know if he remembers this, but one day we were out running in a neighborhood, and someone from school yells out a house window "Hey (insert ccrunner's name), fuck you!" -- without hesitation, ccrunner turns around and yells at him to suck it. It just so happened that a mom of one of the runners was like a block away when this happened.

Edit: for ccrunner and dlazz, someone = Chris Puterbaugh
Apr 9, 2013 3:15pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Apr 9, 2013 3:39 PM
I don't think I was there for that. :thumbdown:
Apr 9, 2013 3:39pm
Crimson streak's avatar

Crimson streak

Senior Member

9,002 posts
Apr 9, 2013 3:48 PM
The best one I had probably had to be coach kehres at mt union. He made a kid quit in the middle of practice. This kid didn't block the corner on a play and face a real piss poor attempt and coach kehres went off. Called him a fucking ***** and that he doesn't deserve to be on the field and the kid starting walking to the locker room and coach kehres is still telling at him calling him a ***** and that he's going to go cry like a little bitch to his mom lol and something about how he has no balls or something like that lol. I have tons of stories about coach kehres he was awesome
Apr 9, 2013 3:48pm
said_aouita's avatar

said_aouita

Banned

8,532 posts
Apr 9, 2013 6:03 PM
like_that;1422348 wrote:That's not a funny coach story. Thanks.
A coach throwing team members outside and through swinging doors is more funny plus a better story than telling about some coach made his team run to make weight.

Hope this helps.
Apr 9, 2013 6:03pm