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Little things you do raising your kids

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F

fan_from_texas

Senior Member

2,693 posts
Sep 26, 2012 11:24 AM
It's important to explain things to your kids and give them a sense of context. At the same time, you don't have to justify your decisions to them or be their best friend.
Sep 26, 2012 11:24am
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Sep 26, 2012 11:44 AM
We let them make small mistakes on their own and sometime decision that was not the smartest, we warned them of the potential but was there for support.
example: My one daughter wanted to go down the big water slide ... We talked about the speed, that she needed to hold on to the mat and it would be scary. No stopping her. First I could tell she was frighten of being so high walking up the stairs, then when she was at the top, I think she knew she was not ready for this but she push on, not turning back. I when first so I could be at the bottom to catch her. Now she was alone and no support&#8230; </SPAN>
She did it, cried and held on to me at the bottom so tight &#8230; it was almost two year later that she tried it again&#8230; </SPAN>

Small lesson early that sometime parents do know what is best &#8230;</SPAN>
Sep 26, 2012 11:44am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Sep 26, 2012 11:53 AM
Children learn best by experiencing and observing. There are no little things.
Sep 26, 2012 11:53am
Fly4Fun's avatar

Fly4Fun

Senior Member

7,730 posts
Sep 26, 2012 12:00 PM
I don't think this is necessarily a small thing but modeling is obviously important. Kids pick up up cues on how to behave to certain situations from adults (namely parents). If you want them to be respectful, be respectful yourself. An obvious example is if you want them to say please and thank you; do so yourself when talking to your spouse, other people or even the kids.

I think when a lot of people forget this is especially when a kid doesn't know how to react to a situation. If a kid falls over or does something that would probably slightly hurt themselves, but nothing major if a parent rushes over all concerned and showing that something is wrong the kid will be more likely to react negatively like something is wrong. But if instead the parent reacts more lightheartedly with a positive attitude then the kid will be more likely to "walk it off."

Kids take social cues from adults.
Sep 26, 2012 12:00pm
M

MoldyDog

Member

70 posts
Sep 26, 2012 12:47 PM
sleeper;1280697 wrote:Actually it's wrong because that **** is made up.
I didn't say the story was true, just that it should be taught correctly. I'd say the same thing if it she was mistelling Tom Sawyer.
Sep 26, 2012 12:47pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Sep 26, 2012 12:57 PM
Lots of good advice on here so far.

One thing I regret that my dad really never did was to say "I love you". I cannot remember him ever saying those 3 words to me. He died when I was 15. I have made a point to always say it whenever I say good bye to my kids. It could be the last thing they ever hear me say.

Some may think it isn't manly to say it, but it does have a comforting affect on the kid. I was known to say it to my son when he was leaving with a group of his buddies when he was in high school. I knew a couple of the guys didn't have a dad around or a father figure in their life. Not a one of them ever made fun of me or my son when I said it.
Sep 26, 2012 12:57pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Sep 26, 2012 1:06 PM
Apple;1280820 wrote:One thing I regret that my dad really never did was to say "I love you". I cannot remember him ever saying those 3 words to me. He died when I was 15. I have made a point to always say it whenever I say good bye to my kids. It could be the last thing they ever hear me say.
My dad would only say it when punishing us, but as we grew older, he says it more often.
Sep 26, 2012 1:06pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Sep 26, 2012 1:20 PM
Apple;1280820 wrote:One thing I regret that my dad really never did was to say "I love you". I cannot remember him ever saying those 3 words to me. He died when I was 15. I have made a point to always say it whenever I say good bye to my kids. It could be the last thing they ever hear me say.
I actually have the very same situation. To this day, I've never heard him say it. There used to be a little resentment about it, I dunno why, just kinda bothered me. Now that I'm older, looking big, he did his things to show it. So I have no regrets about it or anything to this day. I just understand how he was brought up and chalk it up due to that. But just like you, I say it to my son all the time.
Sep 26, 2012 1:20pm
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FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Sep 26, 2012 1:28 PM
My dad never says "I love you" but that doesn't bother me. The one thing that really does bother me is that he always makes a big deal out giving people birthday cards and presents. He doesn't forget anyones birthday. I'm not like that at all. My birthday is just another day to me and for the most part I am fine ignoring it. (presents are ok but I don't want a party. lol) But my dad doesn't even mention my birthday. No card. Nothing. It wouldn't bother me at all if he didn't make such a big deal out of everone else's birthday.
Sep 26, 2012 1:28pm
password's avatar

password

Senior Member

2,360 posts
Sep 26, 2012 1:40 PM
Fly4Fun;1280735 wrote:There was one in this thread that I deleted. However, to provide the example would be counter productive as that material is being removed to try to get adsense back as a source of revenue. If I put in the example again, then that material would come up on further reviews of this site by adsense and might adversely affect the chances of getting adsense back. But I will say everything now on the thread is okay. The one that was removed was clearly over the line.If the comment is related to pornography then it's probably not okay.
I say that ccrunners comment sounded like a scene from a porn movie, that gets deleted because it is not proper for adsense, but ETB wants to whore out his daughters for chips and beer, nothing wrong with that one though. So you are saying that the word "porn" is worse than the word "whore"?
Sep 26, 2012 1:40pm
I

iluvz

Senior Member

262 posts
Sep 27, 2012 10:35 PM
Talk to your kids and be interested in all the small meaningless stuff... They won't be as scared to talk to you about the big stuff. It amazes me what my kids and their friends talk to me about.

I cook my kids, and whatever extra kids are here or show up, breakfast every day. I didn't realize until recently when they told me, how much this means to them.

Simply enjoy your kids, and their friends. If they want to be at your house, they're not out doing God knows what somewhere else. My house is constant chaos full of boys, noise, shoes, bags etc... But I know where my kids are. And I know what they're doing. And 20 years from now I'm not going to remember my quiet nights watching tv, reading etc. I will most definitely have a ton of memories from their craziness though.
Sep 27, 2012 10:35pm
Devils Advocate's avatar

Devils Advocate

Brudda o da bomber

4,539 posts
Oct 2, 2012 6:29 PM
iluvz;1281880 wrote:
I cook my kids, and whatever extra kids are here or show up.
I gots
to know.......

















With or without fava beans?
Oct 2, 2012 6:29pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Oct 2, 2012 10:23 PM
vball10set;1280353 wrote:Let them watch whatever they want on television, regardless of the content ;)


/SVF'd

Were you drunk when you posted that or just dumb?
Oct 2, 2012 10:23pm
Speedofsand's avatar

Speedofsand

Troublemaker

5,529 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:28 AM
I have 1 daughter. Her mom divorced me when she was 2. I got shared primary custody, (no child support). I worked 12 hour shifts days and nights but I had lots of days off to be a single dad. When she was little and came to me with a book, wanting me to read to her, I never said no. When she was old enough I took her to the spring game in The Swamp. Next thing I know she was a regular and loved the games. Once, one of her baby teeth came out in the 2nd qtr. I asked her if she wanted to go, she said no way. She wouldn't even go get a Tylenol until halftime. I got us season passes to Universal for a few years because she loved Nickelodeon. Then we had Sea World passes because she loves dolphins. She moved with her mom up north when she was 14 and she moved back with me after high school. Two weeks after she turned 18 I came within a heartbeat of losing her forever because of a guy she rode a motorcycle with decided to show off and go 150mph. The wind blew her off the bike and she spent a few weeks in the hospital, a few plastic surgeries, and pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Then they sent her home with a morphine habit. Ever see your kid screaming then pass out unconscious from the pain? I learned a lot about faith and forgiveness that month. I almost lost it in the waiting room and my dad, 6'8" nephew and 6'6" brother in law had to hold me back from her 'boyfriend'. Lucky for me my girl healed up and when she got better a year later I took her to Marineland and she swam with dolphins for a half day. It was huge for me. Now she is 22 and wonderful.
Oct 3, 2012 2:28am
McFly1955's avatar

McFly1955

Senior Member

1,441 posts
Oct 3, 2012 12:41 PM
I have a 2 year old and a 5 week old (girls).

So far, the only advice I have is to challenge your kids to learn with everything throughout the day. I'm always quizzing my daughter when coloring, asking for a cup, holding her toys, pretty much anything throughout the day. "What color of crayon is that", "how many do you have", "what color is the lid", "what color is my shirt?", etc.

She is well ahead of other kids her age when we go to story time or other places with similar-aged kids, and I think a lot of it has to do with the way my wife and I have her constantly thinking/learning as she is doing things.
Oct 3, 2012 12:41pm
SnotBubbles's avatar

SnotBubbles

Master of teh QQ

4,492 posts
Oct 3, 2012 1:01 PM
The importance of reading a bed time story, asking a child how their day was (then listening), giving them hugs/kisses and telling them you love them is overlooked by many but important. I do all of that. I read my 3 boys a book every night, give them a kiss, tell them "I love you and will see you in the morning" and then tuck them in "snug as a bug in a rug." When I'm taking my oldest to school, I ask him how he slept..discuss anything that might be going on that day, then give him a kiss and tell him I love him before he leaves the vehicle. When I get home, it's asking them all how their day was and repeat. It's even become a routine for my oldest to say "It was a good day daddy, how was your day?" I try to do as much fun stuff (usually outdoors) with them that I can after work....it seems to all be working. I think they like me.
Oct 3, 2012 1:01pm
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Oct 3, 2012 1:29 PM
Steel Valley Football;1285807 wrote:Were you drunk when you posted that or just dumb?
Not at all, and I can talk....anything else? :rolleyes:
Oct 3, 2012 1:29pm
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Oct 3, 2012 1:34 PM
Steel Valley Football;1285807 wrote:Were you drunk when you posted that or just dumb?
Nope, and I can talk just fine, thank you.
Oct 3, 2012 1:34pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Oct 3, 2012 1:43 PM
vball10set;1286265 wrote:Nope, and I can talk just fine, thank you.
So why'd you fail so bad? It made no sense whatsoever.
Oct 3, 2012 1:43pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Oct 3, 2012 1:46 PM
Steel Valley Football;1286274 wrote:So why'd you fail so bad? It made no sense whatsoever.
It made sense to me. Perhaps you didn't watch enough tv as a child?
Oct 3, 2012 1:46pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:01 PM
FatHobbit;1286281 wrote:It made sense to me. Perhaps you didn't watch enough tv as a child?

Perhaps you can explain why it made sense.
Oct 3, 2012 2:01pm
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:11 PM
Steel Valley Football;1286274 wrote:It made no sense whatsoever.
As far as any of your posts go, welcome to our world :huh:
Oct 3, 2012 2:11pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:18 PM
Steel Valley Football;1286293 wrote:Perhaps you can explain why it made sense.
Which part was confusing?
Oct 3, 2012 2:18pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:27 PM
FatHobbit;1286309 wrote:Which part was confusing?

He got it wrong.

I was the poster who was against young kids watching inappropriate movies and everyone crucified me for it because they said it probably won't do any harm. I said why risk it. That was my only comment ever on kids and tv.

Then, he said:

vball10set;1280353 wrote:Let them watch whatever they want on television, regardless of the content ;)


/SVF'd

It just doesn't make sense, which is why I asked.
Oct 3, 2012 2:27pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Oct 3, 2012 2:31 PM
vball10set;1286301 wrote:As far as any of your posts go, welcome to our world :huh:

I think you made an honest mistake; confusing me for someone else or maybe what i had said about tv. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so harsh asking you about it (drunk/dumb) so I apologize, but I saw it and wondered where it came from.
Oct 3, 2012 2:31pm