Detox

Serious Business Backup 80 replies 1,394 views
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Sep 29, 2011 3:49pm
like_that;916063 wrote:\

ok.
Reps.
Automatik's avatar
Automatik
Posts: 14,632
Sep 29, 2011 3:53pm
justincredible;916048 wrote:Depends on how desperate you are. A test tub of urine in your butt would likely work. Also, no need to worry about the handwarmer.
Haha...the "sub club" is fool proof if you've got it down. I know a guy who passed several by using his wifes piss. Wore compression shorts, filled a travel shampoo bottle, hand warmers, and some trial and error regarding the sample temperature.
SnotBubbles's avatar
SnotBubbles
Posts: 4,492
Sep 29, 2011 4:35pm
like_that;916063 wrote:\

ok.
I didn't say don't smoke weed. I said don't be a fucking moron.

DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 29, 2011 4:37pm
SnotBubbles;916056 wrote:Here's an idea. If you're going to take the risk of doing drugs, have enough common sense and will power to fucking lay off of them for a month or so before you get tested. And if it's a random drug screening and you're in this predicament, you're just an ignorant "***."
It's been over a week since I have smoked and quit to job hunt. I went to the interview and was told it's a 3 week or so hiring process. Usually takes about 3-4 different interviews spread out over a couple weeks or so. They liked me a lot, and decided to give me the job on the spot. I was fully expecting to be able to have at least another week or so to get clean. I didn't expect to get the job that quickly, so obviously it was necessary to get detox. I'm not foaming at the mouth for weed, but nice try though.
Trueblue23's avatar
Trueblue23
Posts: 7,463
Sep 29, 2011 4:50pm
DeyDurkie... before I proceed with this post, I just want to say.. You're welcome.

Go to your local grocery store, buy "Certo". It's a jello like preservative. On the side of the box, you will read that the way it preserves food is by controlling the acidity, thus making it last longer.

Down a bunch of water (which you should already be doing duh)

3 hours before the test. Mix one packet (NOT box, if you do you'll fail) of Certo in a 32 oz bottle of water. You can use Powerade, but water works best for obvious reasons. This stuff is nasty as hell, but once you struggle the beginning you'll be fine.

2 hours before the test- Take a piss. This should be a big relief.

1 hour before the test- piss again.

That gives the Certo/water a chance to metabolize and get into your urine.

Your third piss will be clean. You need to stick to this timetable in order for this to work.


It sounds stupid, but it works. Anyone who spends 50 bucks on that detox shit is a moron. Certo is $4 and works everytime.


You're welcome brother.
Trueblue23's avatar
Trueblue23
Posts: 7,463
Sep 29, 2011 4:54pm
If anyone doesn't believe me... google that shit.

I've used it, friends have used it, it works and it's easy.
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 29, 2011 5:00pm
Wish i read that a couple days ago blue. I took the test yesterday sadly.
Trueblue23's avatar
Trueblue23
Posts: 7,463
Sep 29, 2011 5:01pm
Ah my bad man, well use it for future reference.
Heretic's avatar
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Sep 29, 2011 5:06pm
DeyDurkie5;915812 wrote:They can pick it up, but if there are no traces of weed then I'm good to go. The only problem would be if it was too diluted with the stuff, then I would have to take another test. Hopefully that doesnt happen.
A friend of mine had that happen. He was pissed off as fuck because he had to buy another one to try again.
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 29, 2011 5:14pm
Heretic;916173 wrote:A friend of mine had that happen. He was pissed off as fuck because he had to buy another one to try again.
yeah, I don't know what I would do if I had to take it again. Probably go get a drug test from kroger and see if I was good to go beore buying that detox shit again. Tasted like butt
B
balk14
Posts: 129
Sep 29, 2011 5:14pm
found this on http://boards.cannabis.com/drug-testing/147802-does-certo-method-work-urgent.html

Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Let me repeat that. Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Why would you think Certo creates a barrier in your stomach? Why would you think things go from your stomach straight into your urine? Think about what you just wrote and honestly tell me if any of that makes sense. Certo doesn't coat anything, not your stomach, not your blood vessels, not your kidneys, not your bladder, nothing. To think things enter your body and go through it untouched shows how horrible this [COLOR=#009900 !important]explanation[/COLOR] is on how you passed. Furthermore, to try to tell people this explanation is even worse because their freedom, jobs, or child may depend on passing a [COLOR=#009900 !important]drug[/COLOR] test.

I have done my research on Certo though and this is what I have found. Those that have passed usually are also diluting at the same time they take the certo. Many will mix it into a bottle of gatorade then fill the bottle with water and drink it down, which ends up being about the fluid amount used in dilution. Certo can also have a slight diuretic effect. Finally, certo contains fruit pectin, which is a form of soluble fiber. I have called the makers of certo, which I think is Kraft, and asked them how much soluble fiber is in a box of certo. All they can tell me is that it has soluble fiber in the form of pectin but they don't know how much (at least the operators for the 800 number didn't have access to that info). In fact, I think the product code is this: 4300029320. See, on the box it says less than 1 gram per serving but there are 64 servings in a box. So that could be anywhere from nearly 0 to almost 64 grams. Why is soluble fiber important. Your body eliminates most THC metabolites through renal and hepatic [COLOR=#009900 !important]elimination[/COLOR] (BenDover, that would be your kidneys and liver). Hepatic elimination results in THC metabolites excreted through your feces. Soluble fiber can help prevent these metabolites from being reabsorbed from your feces back into your body. Next, soluble fiber removes bile from your intestine. Your body must then replace the bile so your body pulls cholesterol from the blood to make bile. This process can help make more THC metabolites available for elimination by the liver and less metabolites available for elimination by the kidneys thus less in the urine.

So, most people who pass using certo are passing because they are diluting and adding fiber to the dilution process.

I would like for Kraft to tell me exactly how much fiber is in a box of certo but until then, I continue to recommend Metamucil because that is a good source of soluble fiber and I know how much fiber is in it per serving.
Trueblue23's avatar
Trueblue23
Posts: 7,463
Sep 29, 2011 5:24pm
I've passed with Certo, and no amount of water in the world could dilute my pure THC piss lol
dwccrew's avatar
dwccrew
Posts: 7,817
Sep 30, 2011 2:27am
Commander of Awesome;916036 wrote:Easier said than done. Everytime I'm drug tested they make us empty our pockets and check to make sure we're not concealing things.
You tape or strap it to your leg. Rookie.
wes_mantooth's avatar
wes_mantooth
Posts: 17,977
Sep 30, 2011 6:32am
I have been waiting for dre's detox for years....seems like it will never happen
G
Gblock
Sep 30, 2011 7:52am
i heard a friend used one of those tabs that you use for camping to clean dirty water. anyone ever heard of that??
W
WebFire
Posts: 14,779
Sep 30, 2011 8:39am
Sounds like OC is full of druggies.
ts1227's avatar
ts1227
Posts: 12,319
Sep 30, 2011 8:40am
WebFire;916798 wrote:Sounds like OC is full of druggies.

And the rest of us are drunks
Scarlet_Buckeye's avatar
Scarlet_Buckeye
Posts: 5,264
Sep 30, 2011 9:24am
justincredible;915811 wrote:I dunno, dude. Maybe you should "Just Say No."

This.
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 30, 2011 12:37pm
Scarlet_Buckeye;916859 wrote:This.
lol ***
M
MontyBrunswick
Sep 30, 2011 2:49pm
DeyDurkie5;915797 wrote:Anyone had to take a drug test and used detox?
No, I don't take drugs because I'm responsible.

Hope this helps.
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 30, 2011 2:50pm
dlazz;917352 wrote:No, I don't take drugs because I'm responsible.

Hope this helps.
It does help, thanks!
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Sep 30, 2011 3:21pm
Drugs are the worst. Worse than Ernest.
Q
queencitybuckeye
Posts: 7,117
Sep 30, 2011 3:26pm
Sorry in advance for the off-topic post (like it matters at this point), but what is the going price for good quality pot these days?
SnotBubbles's avatar
SnotBubbles
Posts: 4,492
Sep 30, 2011 3:27pm
"I remember when a dimebag cost a dime."
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Sep 30, 2011 3:29pm
queencitybuckeye;917448 wrote:Sorry in advance for the off-topic post (like it matters at this point), but what is the going price for good quality pot these days?
I get my stuff from a guy in columbus, who makes the monthly trip to cali to get the medicinal grown there. It goes for 50 an eighth, 350 an ounce and 4200 a lb. Obvoiusly those prices are low cause he gets it directly sourced. If you were to go to a random guy, he would charge you anywhere from 50-60 an eighth and 400 an ounce.