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Letter of Resignation

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ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
May 11, 2011 1:20 PM
I have to prepare one and want to turn it in this Friday. I'm a head softball coach, and my time is up, time to move on. What are some suggestions on what to put in the letter. I've never had to write one before.
May 11, 2011 1:20pm
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
May 11, 2011 1:21 PM
Include a thanks for the opportunity and well wishes of continued success
May 11, 2011 1:21pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
May 11, 2011 1:22 PM
uh, it should be short.

to whom it may concern,

it's time for me to move on. i'm not able to devote myself to this team the way i should. i thank you for the opportunity to impact these young peoples lives and wish you nothing but success in the future.

love,

ETB
May 11, 2011 1:22pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
May 11, 2011 1:22 PM
DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.
May 11, 2011 1:22pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
May 11, 2011 1:22 PM
Admit to all the student-teacher hookups
May 11, 2011 1:22pm
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
May 11, 2011 1:23 PM
"Peace out you punk bitches! Come back next year when I puts a little eggnog in your face!"
May 11, 2011 1:23pm
Q

queencitybuckeye

Senior Member

7,117 posts
May 11, 2011 1:23 PM
For personal reasons, I am resigning the position of Head Softball Coach of Butt Secks High School effective May 31, 2011.

Sincerely,
ETB
May 11, 2011 1:23pm
OneBuckeye's avatar

OneBuckeye

Senior Member

5,888 posts
May 11, 2011 1:23 PM
Beer League or High School? Or inbetween?
May 11, 2011 1:23pm
gerb131's avatar

gerb131

Senior Member

9,932 posts
May 11, 2011 1:23 PM
Lots of good suggestions
May 11, 2011 1:23pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
May 11, 2011 1:24 PM
Heretic;765148 wrote:DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.
LJ;765149 wrote:Admit to all the student-teacher hookups
With us giving him conflicting advise, how is poor Ernest ever going to figure out how to write this letter?
May 11, 2011 1:24pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
May 11, 2011 1:24 PM
Also let them know that they need to fix the hole in the wall between your old coach's office and the girls locker room showers.
May 11, 2011 1:24pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
May 11, 2011 1:25 PM
Heretic;765148 wrote:DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.

I am honestly surprised that it took 3 posts to finally get one of these. Well done, heretic, but shame on the rest of you! :)

Just kidding. I like the above suggestions (minus the sarcastic ones :))
May 11, 2011 1:25pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
May 11, 2011 1:26 PM
LJ;765160 wrote:Also let them know that they need to fix the hole in the wall between your old coach's office and the girls locker room showers.

And that the reason the girl who batted .085 was still in the starting line-up every day was because she was willing to use it as a glory hole. A real team player, that one.
May 11, 2011 1:26pm
Thread Bomber's avatar

Thread Bomber

Message Board Terrorist

1,851 posts
May 11, 2011 1:26 PM
Make sure to suggest snottie as your replacement.
May 11, 2011 1:26pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
May 11, 2011 1:28 PM
i came here thinking this was going to be another flameout like when snotty left.
May 11, 2011 1:28pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
May 11, 2011 1:31 PM
I'm just happy that for me, the placed advertisement at the top is for STDalert.com. When you can take a thread about resigning from coaching a softball team and derail it to the point one of the ads for the page is for testing for STDs, you've done something worth talking about!
May 11, 2011 1:31pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
May 11, 2011 1:44 PM
ernest_t_bass;765141 wrote:I have to prepare one and want to turn it in this Friday. I'm a head softball coach, and my time is up, time to move on. What are some suggestions on what to put in the letter. I've never had to write one before.

You want me to write it?
May 11, 2011 1:44pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
May 11, 2011 1:45 PM
j_crazy;765146 wrote:uh, it should be short.

to whom it may concern,

it's time for me to move on. i'm not able to devote myself to this team the way i should. i thank you for the opportunity to impact these young peoples lives and wish you nothing but success in the future.

love,

ETB

Go with this.
May 11, 2011 1:45pm
Iliketurtles's avatar

Iliketurtles

Senior Member

8,191 posts
May 11, 2011 2:43 PM
Dear fucktard,

It's time for me to take my balls and go home.

Signed,

ETB
May 11, 2011 2:43pm
password's avatar

password

Senior Member

2,360 posts
May 11, 2011 2:50 PM
Explain to them that the job just doesn't pay enough and you do appreciate the opportunity they gave you., if it was not for them trusting you to coach these fine young girls, you would not be able to launch your new website, "Ernest hits a home run", a collection of hidden camera shower scenes and the vast collection of videos where you are working 1 on 1 with the girls teaching then the proper way to grip a bat and how to delicately juggle softballs with one hand.
May 11, 2011 2:50pm
OneBuckeye's avatar

OneBuckeye

Senior Member

5,888 posts
May 11, 2011 2:53 PM
Don't forget to blame SB5.
May 11, 2011 2:53pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
May 11, 2011 4:20 PM
How does this sound?

Dear ...

I am writing to formally notify you that I am resigning from my position as Head Softball Coach at Ohio Chatter High School when my duties for the 2011 season are complete. At this time I feel that I am not able to give my full attention to my coaching duties so I feel it is the right decision for both my family and me.

I appreciate the opportunities I have been given the past three years and your professional guidance and support. I wish you and the softball team success in the future.

Sincerely

ETB
May 11, 2011 4:20pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
May 11, 2011 4:21 PM
There's no such thing as Ohio Chatter High School.
May 11, 2011 4:21pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
May 11, 2011 4:22 PM
And you probably should sign it with your real name and not your message board handle. They'd probably think that would be kinda weird. Weirdo.
May 11, 2011 4:22pm
wes_mantooth's avatar

wes_mantooth

Tomfoolery & shenanigans

17,977 posts
May 11, 2011 4:23 PM
justincredible;765532 wrote:There's no such thing as Ohio Chatter High School.

There should be...I would have my kid transfer immediately.
May 11, 2011 4:23pm