sherm03
Posts: 7,349
Mar 1, 2011 6:58pm
These are killing me!
My favorite so far:
What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
My favorite so far:
What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Mar 1, 2011 6:59pm
sherm03;696300 wrote:These are killing me!
My favorite so far:
What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
Your entire set is an anti-joke.
Boom. Society'd!
sherm03
Posts: 7,349
Mar 1, 2011 7:01pm
justincredible;696303 wrote:Your entire set is an anti-joke.
Boom. Society'd!
Well played.
Speaking of...come to the Funny Bone next Thursday.
gorocks99
Posts: 10,760
Mar 1, 2011 7:09pm
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
darbypitcher22
Posts: 8,000
Mar 1, 2011 7:15pm
some of these are really good
sherm03
Posts: 7,349
Mar 1, 2011 7:31pm
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.
I
I Wear Pants
Posts: 16,223
Mar 1, 2011 7:33pm
I sometimes tell these in a class when the professor makes us do the "tell about yourself thing". Usually there's like one person that understands what I'm doing and laughs.
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Mar 1, 2011 7:45pm
I Wear Pants;696344 wrote:I sometimes tell these in a class when the professor makes us do the "tell about yourself thing". Usually there's like one person that understands what I'm doing and laughs.
Reminds me of this scene from The Office:
[video]http://www.tbs.com/video/index.jsp?oid=174247&eref=sharethisUrl[/video]
karen lotz
Posts: 22,284
Mar 1, 2011 7:56pm
what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute?
My illness prevents me from achieving erection.
My illness prevents me from achieving erection.
Mohican00
Posts: 3,394
Mar 1, 2011 8:04pm
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
lol
They were my friends.
lol
brutus161
Posts: 1,686
Mar 1, 2011 8:54pm
There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.