justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 25, 2010 12:01pm
We went up to my sister-in-law's this morning to have breakfast and check out our niece and nephews toys from Santa. At about 10:45 the door bell rings. At the door was an older lady, probably 65-70, with a bible and a younger kid, probably 21-22.
My brother-in-law opens the door (holding a pint glass of apple juice).
Her: I know this is a busy time of year.
Him: yeah...it is...
Her: But a lot of people have questions about this (opens bible).
Him: Actually we're pretty busy right now and we're very happy with our beliefs.
Her: I see you're starting early today...(looks at pint glass)
Young kid: (embarrassed look)
Him: This is apple juice...(shuts door)
Seriously, old lady?
My bro-in-law showed a lot more restraint than I would have. First of all, screw you for bothering us on Christmas morning. Secondly, screw you for being a judgmental bitch.
My brother-in-law opens the door (holding a pint glass of apple juice).
Her: I know this is a busy time of year.
Him: yeah...it is...
Her: But a lot of people have questions about this (opens bible).
Him: Actually we're pretty busy right now and we're very happy with our beliefs.
Her: I see you're starting early today...(looks at pint glass)
Young kid: (embarrassed look)
Him: This is apple juice...(shuts door)
Seriously, old lady?
My bro-in-law showed a lot more restraint than I would have. First of all, screw you for bothering us on Christmas morning. Secondly, screw you for being a judgmental bitch.
imex99
Posts: 4,927
Dec 25, 2010 12:16pm
Nice..... Have a good day with the family.
Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk
Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk
S
Sonofanump
Dec 25, 2010 12:19pm
He should have come back with a "Fuck yeah, it's Christ's day"justincredible;613124 wrote:Her: I see you're starting early today...(looks at pint glass)
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 25, 2010 12:20pm
Sonofanump;613133 wrote:He should have come back with a "Fuck yeah, it's Christ's day"
Lol'd
Cat Food Flambe'
Posts: 1,230
Dec 25, 2010 12:30pm
The standard reply is " We're about to sacrifice a goat in the fire pit - would you care to join us?"
They haven't been by for more than a year now.
They haven't been by for more than a year now.
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 25, 2010 12:36pm
My reply would have been something to the effect of "I realize it's Christmas but even Jesus thinks you're being a c... right now."
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Dec 25, 2010 12:44pm
I usually grab a Sharpie and draw a swastika on my forehead before answering the door. It is usually an outward sign that we don't take kindly to their visits
believer
Posts: 8,153
Dec 25, 2010 12:59pm
Merry Christmas, Justin! 
GoPens
Posts: 2,339
Dec 25, 2010 7:35pm
Nothing like religious nuts to ruin Christmas.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Dec 25, 2010 9:20pm
(sigh)
I don't REALLY mind that they're going around. However, for practicality's sake, talking to someone about faith is like sex: no means no.
Personally, I do think it's a very serious thing, but it's also something that is more easily discussed after a relationship has been established. Moreover, if you prefer the door-to-door method of sharing your experience with God, you need to be courteous, allowing someone to enjoy their peace if they so choose, and not at ALL insult them if they decline.
That very same Bible she opened says that she (and all others) are to "speak the truth IN LOVE." Perhaps she was sick that Sunday.
I don't REALLY mind that they're going around. However, for practicality's sake, talking to someone about faith is like sex: no means no.
Personally, I do think it's a very serious thing, but it's also something that is more easily discussed after a relationship has been established. Moreover, if you prefer the door-to-door method of sharing your experience with God, you need to be courteous, allowing someone to enjoy their peace if they so choose, and not at ALL insult them if they decline.
That very same Bible she opened says that she (and all others) are to "speak the truth IN LOVE." Perhaps she was sick that Sunday.
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Dec 26, 2010 12:57am
I'm guessing you were celebrating with "apple juice" at a place that didn't come with a built-in Coliseum containing lions ready to heroically battle those god damn Christians.
Therefore the fault is yours for going to a lame family gathering instead of Roman Empire Flashback Party. No one to blame but you.
Therefore the fault is yours for going to a lame family gathering instead of Roman Empire Flashback Party. No one to blame but you.
Go4alOngbOmB
Posts: 673
Dec 26, 2010 1:29am
I woulda pointed at the bible and said let me read to you what I see here....Oh here is a goo done, "Thou Shalt Not be a crotch dumpling and bother me on Jesus' Birthday" See...its there in black and white...THEN slam the door in her face....
Its either that or throw the apple juice in her face and say "ITS A CHRISMAS MIRACLE!!!! I Cured your Crotch Goblins" then slam the door in her face....one of the 2
Its either that or throw the apple juice in her face and say "ITS A CHRISMAS MIRACLE!!!! I Cured your Crotch Goblins" then slam the door in her face....one of the 2
W
WebFire
Posts: 14,779
Dec 26, 2010 9:14am
These people actually think they are saving people and the world. What a waste of time.
Skyhook79
Posts: 5,739
Dec 26, 2010 10:09am
ccrunner609;613564 wrote:I call BS on the whole thing.
Ditto. Who answers the door with a pint of apple juice in their hand?
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 26, 2010 11:13am
Skyhook79;613576 wrote:Ditto. Who answers the door with a pint of apple juice in their hand?
We were having breakfast. Is it that weird to have apple juice with breakfast?
Is it the apple juice or the fact it was in a pint glass? How's this to make it even more of a BS story, the pint glass was an ASU pint glass so it had a devil on it.
It wasn't this one, but close to it:
wes_mantooth
Posts: 17,977
Dec 26, 2010 11:20am
Religious old bitches are the worst.
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Dec 26, 2010 1:35pm
ccrunner609;613564 wrote:I call BS on the whole thing.
I can see this. The entire story rests on the flimsy premise that Justin has family who'd want him around for Christmas. 'Tis hard to believe, so I give him credit for coming up with a wacky story to distract us from how he tried to slip in that he was welcome somewhere.
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 26, 2010 1:46pm
Heretic;613703 wrote:I can see this. The entire story rests on the flimsy premise that Justin has family who'd want him around for Christmas. 'Tis hard to believe, so I give him credit for coming up with a wacky story to distract us from how he tried to slip in that he was welcome somewhere.
Drats! Foiled again!
darbypitcher22
Posts: 8,000
Dec 27, 2010 12:36am
wes_mantooth;613603 wrote:Religious old bitches are the worst.
This.
I've gotten some great ideas from people about how to approach this situation the next time they show up on my door
Murdski99
Posts: 399
Dec 27, 2010 12:42am
typical gay religion bullshit
dwccrew
Posts: 7,817
Dec 27, 2010 12:51am
wes_mantooth;613603 wrote:Religious old bitches are the worst.
Dorothy Mantooth is a religious old bitch.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Dec 27, 2010 1:04am
Murdski99;614329 wrote:typical gay religion bullshit
Doubtful on the highlighted section if she was 65+.
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 27, 2010 7:50pm
Apparently this story is too unbelievable for skyhook that he brought it up in another thread. I'm not sure how my bro-in-law drinking apple juice makes it a BS story but apparently I need therapy. Anyone have any good therapists they can recommend?
BRF
Posts: 8,748
Dec 27, 2010 8:09pm
I'll bet that Heretic knows what BRF would have done if someone showed up at his door on Christmas morning (and NOT holding a glass of apple juice)! Ha ha (in advance)!
Actually, the nerve, I tell ya, the nerve (in my best Rodney Dangerfield)!
Actually, the nerve, I tell ya, the nerve (in my best Rodney Dangerfield)!
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Dec 27, 2010 8:14pm
You would have given them some Red Rider apparel and wished then a Merry Christmas?BRF;615163 wrote:I'll bet that Heretic knows what BRF would have done if someone showed up at his door on Christmas morning (and NOT holding a glass of apple juice)! Ha ha (in advance)!
Actually, the nerve, I tell ya, the nerve (in my best Rodney Dangerfield)!