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A Christmas morning visit from religious crazies...

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ A Christmas morning visit from religious crazies...
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:01 PM
We went up to my sister-in-law's this morning to have breakfast and check out our niece and nephews toys from Santa. At about 10:45 the door bell rings. At the door was an older lady, probably 65-70, with a bible and a younger kid, probably 21-22.

My brother-in-law opens the door (holding a pint glass of apple juice).

Her: I know this is a busy time of year.
Him: yeah...it is...
Her: But a lot of people have questions about this (opens bible).
Him: Actually we're pretty busy right now and we're very happy with our beliefs.
Her: I see you're starting early today...(looks at pint glass)
Young kid: (embarrassed look)
Him: This is apple juice...(shuts door)

Seriously, old lady?

My bro-in-law showed a lot more restraint than I would have. First of all, screw you for bothering us on Christmas morning. Secondly, screw you for being a judgmental bitch.
Dec 25, 2010 12:01pm
imex99's avatar

imex99

Senior Member

4,927 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:16 PM
Nice..... Have a good day with the family.
Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk
Dec 25, 2010 12:16pm
S

Sonofanump

Dec 25, 2010 12:19 PM
justincredible;613124 wrote:Her: I see you're starting early today...(looks at pint glass)
He should have come back with a "Fuck yeah, it's Christ's day"
Dec 25, 2010 12:19pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:20 PM
Sonofanump;613133 wrote:He should have come back with a "Fuck yeah, it's Christ's day"

Lol'd
Dec 25, 2010 12:20pm
Cat Food Flambe''s avatar

Cat Food Flambe'

Senior Member

1,230 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:30 PM
The standard reply is " We're about to sacrifice a goat in the fire pit - would you care to join us?"

They haven't been by for more than a year now.
Dec 25, 2010 12:30pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:36 PM
My reply would have been something to the effect of "I realize it's Christmas but even Jesus thinks you're being a c... right now."
Dec 25, 2010 12:36pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:44 PM
I usually grab a Sharpie and draw a swastika on my forehead before answering the door. It is usually an outward sign that we don't take kindly to their visits
Dec 25, 2010 12:44pm
believer's avatar

believer

Senior Member

8,153 posts
Dec 25, 2010 12:59 PM
Merry Christmas, Justin! ;)
Dec 25, 2010 12:59pm
GoPens's avatar

GoPens

Senior Member

2,339 posts
Dec 25, 2010 7:35 PM
Nothing like religious nuts to ruin Christmas.
Dec 25, 2010 7:35pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
Dec 25, 2010 9:20 PM
(sigh)

I don't REALLY mind that they're going around. However, for practicality's sake, talking to someone about faith is like sex: no means no.

Personally, I do think it's a very serious thing, but it's also something that is more easily discussed after a relationship has been established. Moreover, if you prefer the door-to-door method of sharing your experience with God, you need to be courteous, allowing someone to enjoy their peace if they so choose, and not at ALL insult them if they decline.

That very same Bible she opened says that she (and all others) are to "speak the truth IN LOVE." Perhaps she was sick that Sunday.
Dec 25, 2010 9:20pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Dec 26, 2010 12:57 AM
I'm guessing you were celebrating with "apple juice" at a place that didn't come with a built-in Coliseum containing lions ready to heroically battle those god damn Christians.

Therefore the fault is yours for going to a lame family gathering instead of Roman Empire Flashback Party. No one to blame but you.
Dec 26, 2010 12:57am
Go4alOngbOmB's avatar

Go4alOngbOmB

Semi-Pro-Rockstar

673 posts
Dec 26, 2010 1:29 AM
I woulda pointed at the bible and said let me read to you what I see here....Oh here is a goo done, "Thou Shalt Not be a crotch dumpling and bother me on Jesus' Birthday" See...its there in black and white...THEN slam the door in her face....


Its either that or throw the apple juice in her face and say "ITS A CHRISMAS MIRACLE!!!! I Cured your Crotch Goblins" then slam the door in her face....one of the 2
Dec 26, 2010 1:29am
W

WebFire

Go Bucks!

14,779 posts
Dec 26, 2010 9:14 AM
These people actually think they are saving people and the world. What a waste of time.
Dec 26, 2010 9:14am
Skyhook79's avatar

Skyhook79

Senior Member

5,739 posts
Dec 26, 2010 10:09 AM
ccrunner609;613564 wrote:I call BS on the whole thing.

Ditto. Who answers the door with a pint of apple juice in their hand?
Dec 26, 2010 10:09am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 26, 2010 11:13 AM
Skyhook79;613576 wrote:Ditto. Who answers the door with a pint of apple juice in their hand?

We were having breakfast. Is it that weird to have apple juice with breakfast?

Is it the apple juice or the fact it was in a pint glass? How's this to make it even more of a BS story, the pint glass was an ASU pint glass so it had a devil on it.

It wasn't this one, but close to it:
Dec 26, 2010 11:13am
wes_mantooth's avatar

wes_mantooth

Tomfoolery & shenanigans

17,977 posts
Dec 26, 2010 11:20 AM
Religious old bitches are the worst.
Dec 26, 2010 11:20am
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Dec 26, 2010 1:35 PM
ccrunner609;613564 wrote:I call BS on the whole thing.

I can see this. The entire story rests on the flimsy premise that Justin has family who'd want him around for Christmas. 'Tis hard to believe, so I give him credit for coming up with a wacky story to distract us from how he tried to slip in that he was welcome somewhere.
Dec 26, 2010 1:35pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 26, 2010 1:46 PM
Heretic;613703 wrote:I can see this. The entire story rests on the flimsy premise that Justin has family who'd want him around for Christmas. 'Tis hard to believe, so I give him credit for coming up with a wacky story to distract us from how he tried to slip in that he was welcome somewhere.

Drats! Foiled again!
Dec 26, 2010 1:46pm
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Dec 27, 2010 12:36 AM
wes_mantooth;613603 wrote:Religious old bitches are the worst.

This.

I've gotten some great ideas from people about how to approach this situation the next time they show up on my door
Dec 27, 2010 12:36am
Murdski99's avatar

Murdski99

Senior Member

399 posts
Dec 27, 2010 12:42 AM
typical gay religion bullshit
Dec 27, 2010 12:42am
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Dec 27, 2010 12:51 AM
wes_mantooth;613603 wrote:Religious old bitches are the worst.

Dorothy Mantooth is a religious old bitch.
Dec 27, 2010 12:51am
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
Dec 27, 2010 1:04 AM
Murdski99;614329 wrote:typical gay religion bullshit

Doubtful on the highlighted section if she was 65+.
Dec 27, 2010 1:04am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Dec 27, 2010 7:50 PM
Apparently this story is too unbelievable for skyhook that he brought it up in another thread. I'm not sure how my bro-in-law drinking apple juice makes it a BS story but apparently I need therapy. Anyone have any good therapists they can recommend?
Dec 27, 2010 7:50pm
BRF's avatar

BRF

Senior Member

8,748 posts
Dec 27, 2010 8:09 PM
I'll bet that Heretic knows what BRF would have done if someone showed up at his door on Christmas morning (and NOT holding a glass of apple juice)! Ha ha (in advance)!

Actually, the nerve, I tell ya, the nerve (in my best Rodney Dangerfield)!
Dec 27, 2010 8:09pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Dec 27, 2010 8:14 PM
BRF;615163 wrote:I'll bet that Heretic knows what BRF would have done if someone showed up at his door on Christmas morning (and NOT holding a glass of apple juice)! Ha ha (in advance)!

Actually, the nerve, I tell ya, the nerve (in my best Rodney Dangerfield)!
You would have given them some Red Rider apparel and wished then a Merry Christmas?
Dec 27, 2010 8:14pm