Just talking to him on the phone makes me want to puke. He lives in some fucking fantasy land and calls me from these places. Oh you should be here in Kuala-Lampur well buy me a ticket you ass hole. Happens everytime and his fat drunk southern wife and her fat smelly daugther call and go on and on and on and I get some shitty postcard with a waterfall on it. Oh the food is so good I bet you ate the plate it was served on. 4 houses a billion vacations and me and my bro get stiffed. I asked this dick for 200 bucks and he told me he'd have to set up an interest rate payment plan. Look clown if I wanted that I'd go to the gd bank. Last time he was here in Ohio I had to cough up 40 for the pizza we had after my kids t-ball game. Damn I miss my mom she was a far better father than him. I can't think of thing that guy did for me or my bro oh he did teach me how not to be a father. Go Fuck Yourself Pops. I feel better now.

So, your bitch is about money? (that's how I read it)

*EDIT
I just want to add in the fact that my parents never laid an unecessary hand on me, didn't sexually abuse me, and neglect in their parenting responsibilities. So, I can truthfully say that I would never be so vehemently disrespectful to them like that. Especially over their money, no matter how they got/earned it.

If I totally read your post wrong, let me know. But as of right now, your post looks like a whiney brat crying over not getting money.

I have a friend who's dad was never around for him, but love love loved to tell him how much money he was spending on his new wife/kid/house/vacations etc.... (while my pal was living in a shit hole house with his mom trying to make ends meet.) I get where you're coming from gerb. I do think people should be able to spend their money however they want, but if they're dead beat parents there's no need to rub it in your other kids faces.

1. get caller id
2. don't answer the fucking phone when he calls.


I think i've effectively solved the problem.

Gerb, I just got back from one of these vacations with your dad. It was sweet. All he talked about the whole time was how funny it was that you weren't there.

FatHobbit;542033 wrote:I have a friend who's dad was never around for him, but love love loved to tell him how much money he was spending on his new wife/kid/house/vacations etc.... (while my pal was living in a shit hole house with his mom trying to make ends meet.) I get where you're coming from gerb. I do think people should be able to spend their money however they want, but if they're dead beat parents there's no need to rub it in your other kids faces.

Thats about the size of it. I don't need the 200 I just like to see him squirm. Just fed up with all his shit.

CenterBHSFan;542022 wrote:So, your bitch is about money? (that's how I read it)

*EDIT
I just want to add in the fact that my parents never laid an unecessary hand on me, didn't sexually abuse me, and neglect in their parenting responsibilities. So, I can truthfully say that I would never be so vehemently disrespectful to them like that. Especially over their money, no matter how they got/earned it.

If I totally read your post wrong, let me know. But as of right now, your post looks like a whiney brat crying over not getting money.

Understood it to mean he was never a good father, but feels the need to rub his success in his sons face.

Gerb, you're an adult and you are now faced with an adult decision. Do you want to have a relationship with your father? Do you want your children to know and have a relationship with their grandfather? Is putting up with all of his "crap" worth it to have that relationship? Would you be willing to confront him with how he makes you feel (maybe even sit down with a counselor)? If you want a relationship but require some change on his end, would you be willing to confront him knowing that it may end your relationship with him (is that risk worth it)? These are all questions that you need to answer for yourself (or with your family). There is nothing requiring you to continue having a relationship with your father or requiring that you put up with his crap. It's completely up to you to continue taking it. Don't play a victim because when you take his crap you are complicit with it by not doing anything to stop it.

ernest_t_bass;542042 wrote:Gerb, I just got back from one of these vacations with your dad. It was sweet. All he talked about the whole time was how funny it was that you weren't there.

much better than my post.

good job ETB

krambman;542055 wrote:Gerb, you're an adult and you are now faced with an adult decision. Do you want to have a relationship with your father? Do you want your children to know and have a relationship with their grandfather? Is putting up with all of his "crap" worth it to have that relationship? Would you be willing to confront him with how he makes you feel (maybe even sit down with a counselor)? If you want a relationship but require some change on his end, would you be willing to confront him knowing that it may end your relationship with him (is that risk worth it)? These are all questions that you need to answer for yourself (or with your family). There is nothing requiring you to continue having a relationship with your father or requiring that you put up with his crap. It's completely up to you to continue taking it. Don't play a victim because when you take his crap you are complicit with it by not doing anything to stop it.

Great post

The only solution involves fire and lots of it.

lol homey can't even vent w/o bein lectured.

FatHobbit;542033 wrote:I have a friend who's dad was never around for him, but love love loved to tell him how much money he was spending on his new wife/kid/house/vacations etc.... (while my pal was living in a shit hole house with his mom trying to make ends meet.) I get where you're coming from gerb. I do think people should be able to spend their money however they want, but if they're dead beat parents there's no need to rub it in your other kids faces.

If gerb isn't an adult, than I stand corrected and his dad probably is a deadbeat parent.

Is it the fact that your father is enjoying life that bothers you or that he tells you?

I wish my father were still around to tell me how great him spending his own money was.

get over it? I have a younger sister who now lives at home alone and gets way more than I ever got. She even got satelite in her room, cellphone, and was allowed to do more at a younger age than me. I dont like it, but what can you do about it

Anything we "get" is a gift....no matter what others may have received.

Con_Alma;542102 wrote:Anything we "get" is a gift....no matter what others may have received.

That doesn't make it any less hurtful. And I doubt it's actually about the money. His father is obviously spending quality time with his stepchild and he hasn't bothered to do the same with his son.

I didn't mention* money in my "gift" comment that you quoted. Time and emotional involvement applies to my previous comment as much or more than money does.

"Hurt" is self imposed. We choose what "hurts" and what doesn't.

Con_Alma;542117 wrote:I didn't mentioned money in my "gift" comment that you quoted. Time and emotional involvement applies to my previous comment as much or more than money does.

"Hurt" is self imposed. We choose what "hurts" and what doesn't.

So you think it's okay for a father to spend time with his stepchild (or any child, actually) and no time with another child?

Fab4Runner;542131 wrote:So you think it's okay for a father to spend time with his stepchild (or any child, actually) and no time with another child?

Yes especially if the child is a whinner like Gerb.

Fab...to directly answer your question I think it's "O.K." for that father to spend time however he chooses. "O.K." doesn't necessarily constitute ideal.

What I don't hold an expectation towards is any parent being expected to carry the exact same relationship with every child they may have. To do so may create an unnatural, forced experience that has the ability to be more negative than that which I deemed as being, "O.K".

My dad bounced town when I was 12 and I haven't talked to him since. Shitty thing is he was a perfectly fine dad after my parents divorced when I was 5. All of a sudden, 7 years later he moved out of town for work and just didn't bother telling me. It was a weird situation. I can definitely commiserate with you on this. Luckily my father doesn't have that sort of money and he doesn't call me to rub it in my face.

...I've met gerb and found him to be a good dude.

Gerb, I'm sorry your drunk fucking dad is a complete ahole, so I'd do as one poster said and just end the relationship if it's that painfull for you and your family. Next time he calls, tell him how you feel and say thanks for bringing you into the world, but that you're moving on in your life without him in it and then hang up.

Your old man sucks, so here are some old man socks.

Con_Alma;542140 wrote:Fab...to directly answer your question I think it's "O.K." for that father to spend time however he chooses. "O.K." doesn't necessarily constitute ideal.

What I don't hold an expectation towards is any parent being expected to carry the exact same relationship with every child they may have. To do so may create an unnatural, forced experience that has the ability to be more negative than that which I deemed as being, "O.K".

Well I think in this case it's pretty clear that having no relationship has been negative and who is to say what actually having one may have produced? Could it have still been negative? Sure. But why not put in the effort when it's your own son?