Ok, so I had an interesting night tonight. I was talking today with my friend Mike about how it's been awhile since I have had sex, I'm about to go start trolling Craigslist. Anyway, that's what I did. Found a 25-year old girl that seemed like she wasn't a spambot, under W4M dating, and messaged her. She was 5'1, 100 pounds, bisexual, and just got out of a relationship. She said she was on an online dating site I am also on, so I found her profile and picture. Also read that she is into the Kama Sutra. Profile said she wasn't looking for a hookup, but then I noticed on one of the quiz questions, she expects to have sex with someone between 1-2 dates.

Started IM'ing her, and asked if she wanted to get together. She told me the last two guys on Craigslist she met said they wanted to go out again, then stood her up.
We exchanged phone numbers, then I told her where to meet and what time, I was going to go shower and get ready. Got out of the shower and I had THREE missed phone calls, a picture message, and voicemail. The message said "I talked to my parents, and they said it's OK if I go out." Took off for the meeting place, she texted me saying she was there, so I texted back saying I would be there in 10 minutes. Five minutes later she calls and asks where I am

So we meet up, she starts talking, and immediately I can tell she doesn't have it all upstairs. However, she's not that bad to look at. She tells me she has slight autism, then says "I was wondering if you were the same way?" HUH???? This girl is asking me if I'm mentally disabled, five minutes into meeting. I said "Do I seem like I do?" I asked her where she works, she tells me she works at Lowe's, watering the plants.

She then gives me a hug, and says she is moving back to Rhode Island in October, will I come visit her? She then says "Do you want to go back to your place?" So I say ok. We get in my car, and she says "So how is your health??" We get to my place, I just want to get this over with, then she asks if I want to try a Kama Sutra position. Of course I say Yes.

We do the deed, then I go to the bathroom and she follows me in, and says "I wanted to help you." WHAT?? You want to help me take a piss?? Then her fucking Dad calls her and she tells him she's on the way home.

Anyway, she starts asking how much do I like her, do I want to meet her parents, etc.... So I drive her to her parents house, park about two houses away so they can't see my car, and drop her off. The whole time we are together, I'm laughing my ass off inside my head and can't wait to share this story.

Probably shouldn't have done it, but hey, she knew the Kama Sutra......

Ok first this girl is mental, 2nd are you sure she was at least 18??? WTF is this! Funny though I do agree.

Yeah, she was 25 years old, almost 26 even On the drive to her place, she said "what did you like most about the love making??" I should have said, "that you're about to get out of my car."

Ummmmm, wtf mate?

So you fucked a retard????

Haha so you had sex with a mentally handicapped girl, that is 25 and lives with her parents.

I believe it's "ra-tard".

Post the link to this chick's craigslist ad so we can see what you did!

And no I'm not interested in hitting it but I feel the need to see this!

Damn.fucking.yeah.

That kinda shit is why I LOVE the internet.

But....ummmm....not to be mean, but you kinda just screwed a retard? I mean, that might not really be that cool.

EDIT: Clearly we were all thinking the same thing. I just had to re-read your post a couple times before I could grasp it.

I hear the girl you banged placed 3rd in the Long Jump over at the Olympics....

unfortunately, it was not the the one just held in China.

Fly4Fun;462071 wrote:I believe it's "ra-tard".

Really?

1. ratard
means the same as the word retard but makes you sound stupid saying it.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ratard

-Society-;462082 wrote:Really?


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ratard

Never seen The Hangover apparently.

wildcats20;462084 wrote:Never seen The Hangover apparently.

Nope. Care to fill me in?

-Society-;462086 wrote:Nope. Care to fill me in?

[video=youtubeoendYt_ZJ0][/video]

I was kidding. Apparently you haven't noticed.

Probably just told her there were ghosts in her panties, she dropped em pretty damn quick.

Sometimes it's hard to tell...

Call us in three weeks when the sores appear....

If we had a Hall of Fame, this thread would be a charter member.

haha yeah, something isnt right here. thats too easy of a hook up even for SQ Crazies.

All I wanna know is can I get the job at Lowes watering plants when she moves?

Sonofanump;462097 wrote:Sometimes it's hard to tell...

Exactly what I was thinking.

I want to know zwick's opinion, he's the resident pimp.

So when is round 2... tomorrow?

iclfan2;462070 wrote:Haha so you had sex with a mentally handicapped girl, that is 25 and lives with her parents.

This post is GOAT