ZWICK 4 PREZ;405417 wrote:u weren't gay when you lived with me were u? lol

i only had time for ps2 ncaa football back in those days

These guys pretty much sum up the series for anyone not wearing 14 year old girl goggles.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

namod65;405543 wrote:These guys pretty much sum up the series for anyone not wearing 14 year old girl goggles.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

haha that was awesome.

Can't say that I will see it. Haven't read any of the books or seen any of the movies. I plan to keep it that way.

How Twilight Works

A few weeks ago I had the miserable experience of reading Twilight. A friend bought it for me and I took it with me to read on a long flight from Seattle to Houston. I knew it was going to be crappy, but I thought it would be a guilty pleasure kind of crappy - where you know it's bad but you still get enjoyment out of it. I actually managed to power through around 400 pages until I gave up and started reading Sky Mall. I've been seeing Twilight everywhere lately, especially with Vampire Teens II New Moon's release, so I thought I'd break down why chicks go apeshit for it.



First off, the author creates a main character which is an empty shell. Her appearance isn't described in detail; that way, any female can slip into it and easily fantasize about being this person. I read 400 pages of that book and barely had any idea of what the main character looked like; as far as I was concerned she was a giant Lego brick. Appearance aside, her personality is portrayed as insecure, fumbling, and awkward - a combination anyone who ever went through puberty can relate to. By creating this "empty shell," the character becomes less of a person and more of something a female reader can put on and wear. Because I forgot her name (I think it was Barbara or Brando or something like that), I'm going to refer to her as "Pants" from here on out.



So after a few chapters of listening to Pants whine about high school, sucking at volleyball, and being the center of attention, the second major character is introduced. Imagine everything women want in a man, then exaggerate it by ten thousand - and you've got Edward Cullen. The level of detail that the author goes into while describing Edward's appearance is remarkable. At one point while reading I started counting the number of times the author used the expression "Edward's perfect face," and it was far into the double digits. The author excruciatingly details his muscular pecs, clothing, hair, eye color - even his goddamn breath (I'm not joking).



Edward intensely listens to everything Pants has to say, even if she's bitching about she had diarrhea on Christmas or her preferred method for cutting a sandwich in half. As far as the reader is concerned, Edward cares about nothing in the world more than Pants. What the author has done is created a perfect male figure - a pale Greek statue which the reader can worship and in turn be worshipped b



So what about men that like Twilight?
If you're male and you like Twilight, you're gay. I don't mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean it in the "you want to put your testicles against another man's testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair" kind of way.

And the movie?
The movie is just the same uninspired crap shat out onto a film reel. If you like the taste of horse manure on your bologna sandwiches, you're probably gonna like it on your birthday cake as well. The same principle applies with Twilight.

Beyond that, it's just a romance novel with the occasional vampire teen drama bullshit peppered here and there. It doesn't really break any new ground in the realm of vampire fiction, other than portraying vampires as a family of uncomfortable retards who prance around the woods eating deer and bunny rabbits. There's lots of nervous lip-biting, tender kisses between Pants and Edward, and lengthy descriptions of every feature of Edward's body. Pants is a static character who never really progresses beyond being an insecure vampire fangirl who obsesses over Edward. Whether her character grows beyond that is unknown to me, I'd stopped reading by then and shifted my attention to an electric butt-massaging chair in Sky Mall.

Source: http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

Also:
[video=youtube;K4uuGvmAxTI][/video]

So what about men that like Twilight?
If you're male and you like Twilight, you're gay. I don't mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean it in the "you want to put your testicles against another man's testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair" kind of way.

That made me laugh so loud...I just woke up my fiancee in the next room. LOL!

I love the Oatmeal. It's a great website. You should checkout some of their other pieces.

So, if the girl's name is Pants and your username is I Wear Pants, does that mean you've skinned her and are wearing her remains as makeshift clothes?

Please say yes. Please. Please! PLEASE!!!

Ill stick to Trueblood for a good vampire show/movie.

If liking the Twilight Saga makes a man gay...then just call me Ricky Martin!

NWIndianNation01;406590 wrote:If liking the Twilight Saga makes a man gay...then just call me Ricky Martin!

Ok Ricky.

You like Twilight...and your signature looks like a hairy, messed up looking cock.

You can tell us if you like dudes. Nobody is gonna judge you here...

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack to Spare Twilight Author/

i watched both movies with girlfriend. the first one blew, the second i thought was actually somewhat watchable. I cant stand all this obsession shit over it though. Here is a pic of the line of the midnight showing at the highlands theater (same place as cabelas outside of wheeling). I've never seen the line this long for any debut of a movie. Never even seen people waiting outside in line before.


and no, i did not go to the midnight viewing, nor do i have any plans on watching the movie. This is a pic my friend that went with his girlfriend took

Ugh I don't see what is so good about it. My sorta ex made me go see the 2nd one. But I watched the 1st one before we went to see it. It was boring and way to "G" for me. I love True Blood. If I want Vampires it's gonna be in the True Blood kinda way. Maybe I'm just too adult or too much of a pervert lol.

Ytowngirlinfla;407048 wrote:Ugh I don't see what is so good about it. My sorta ex made me go see the 2nd one. But I watched the 1st one before we went to see it. It was boring and way to "G" for me. I love True Blood. If I want Vampires it's gonna be in the True Blood kinda way. Maybe I'm just too adult or too much of a pervert lol.

That's because there isn't anything good about them. From a regular movie-goer's view, they are outrageously bad films. It's just simply terrible film production. It appeals to teenage girls or women who couldn't get laid if they were an egg. Most of them either don't see the terrible film-making, or can look past it to enjoy the cheesy love triangle of a story.

All I have to say is I'm so glad I don't work at the movie theater anymore. I would have gone crazy by now, especially if I had to actually watch the crap up in the booth.

This made me LOL
http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/east-volusia/2010/07/01/power-loss-causes-total-eclipse-for-frustrated-fans.html
A blown-out transformer sucked the lights and life off the screen at the Hollywood Theaters Pavilion Stadium 14, where about 1,600 people were vying to be among the first to see the movie.
Ten screenings were scheduled to start between 12:01 a.m. and 12:45 a.m., but screens went blank about 12:50 a.m.
The theater was the only customer served by the transformer, a FPL spokeswoman said. The entire unit had to be replaced and power was restored at 11 a.m. Wednesday.
"There were hundreds of people going crazy," said the 17-year-old. "They were yelling and trying to get to the front of the line."
At one point, moviegoers ran "like a mob of people" back into a theater because they thought the movie had come back on, Dees said.
"It was disappointing after you wait so long," she said. "I'm like addicted to it and so is my boyfriend."

Speedofsand;407406 wrote:This made me LOL
http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/east-volusia/2010/07/01/power-loss-causes-total-eclipse-for-frustrated-fans.html
A blown-out transformer sucked the lights and life off the screen at the Hollywood Theaters Pavilion Stadium 14, where about 1,600 people were vying to be among the first to see the movie.
Ten screenings were scheduled to start between 12:01 a.m. and 12:45 a.m., but screens went blank about 12:50 a.m.
The theater was the only customer served by the transformer, a FPL spokeswoman said. The entire unit had to be replaced and power was restored at 11 a.m. Wednesday.
"There were hundreds of people going crazy," said the 17-year-old. "They were yelling and trying to get to the front of the line."
At one point, moviegoers ran "like a mob of people" back into a theater because they thought the movie had come back on, Dees said.
"It was disappointing after you wait so long," she said. "I'm like addicted to it and so is my boyfriend."

the sad thing is, whether he is or isnt a fan, everyone who knows him will forever make fun of him for this.

I see the appeal to teenage girls, but that's as far as it goes. I watched the first two with my daughter but wouldn't even think about going to the theater to see them. And I do believe that if either of my daughters met a boy who liked these movies, they would be very concerned.

Sorry...not going to come out of the closet as there is nothing to say...haha

I like women, boobs, women, poker, cigars, fast cars, sports, beer, liquor and I am married...to a woman that I love more than anything else in the world.

So NO, I am not actually gay...I just like Twilight...oh well.

So at least tell us this indiannation, are you Team Jacob or Team Edward???

My buddy (another guy) and I have Team Bella shirts...haha

NWIndianNation01;407692 wrote:My buddy (another guy) and I have Team Bella shirts...haha

I would have gotten Team Alice shirts... shes the hottest.