My head is about to explode.

If I vented right now, it would be a far too long profanity laced post, and I just don't want to come across as such. I just had to get this bit out for now.

NEVER LEND ANYONE MONEY EVER. NO MATTER HOW BADLY THEY NEED IT.

That looks harsh. But that's gotta be how to roll.

Loan- never
Give- depends

Yeah man it's a rule of thumb.

Very true. It is, I mean, I'm mostly irritated with myself for not following that rule of thumb, everyone knows that.

But, on the flipside of that, you have faith in those that are your own family, I suppose, to do the right thing. I'm not hurting for the actual money, I'm hurting due to principle, I think.

^ Yeah that is how it generally goes. You expect that they would have the decency to pay you back.

I bought a new back window for my son's car in August. ...a long story but the thing got busted out and he needed to get it fixed. The deal was that he would cut my grass 10 times to pay it off.

He hasn't cut it even once and he doesn't answer his phone or return text messages.

Looks like that'll be one less Christmas gift I will be buying this year...

Upper
I'll say that because of the word "family", it's just a bitch to say no. My best friend basically gave his parents a sizeable sum of cash a few years ago he knew that would just be lost wages simply due to love. They never financially planned and had at least one ill-advised kid. Over about 19 years, they had four and they were spread out. They had no savings and the dad had some health issues and was off work. If my friend hadn't hooked them up, they'd have been out of their home.

Since you say it's because of the principle, I'm guessing your situation is different than his, but I think it does illustrate how it's much more difficult to say no when it's family, since he wasn't well off and because of that "forever loan", he had to keep a car about 2 years longer than he wanted.

If it's family, you can give them money. Loan, I wouldn't expect them to pay it back. If they wanted to pay it back, that's their choice.

My rule on loaning money out
Never loan to anyone I can not beat up.

Being family doesn't give anyone the excuse to agree on a loan and not pay it back. You were in bad shape and your family bailed you out. You pay that debt before anything else--because when you don't, who has your back next time? It's a shitty person who can't pay their own family back...

I feel ya upper.

And, see....at the core, I agree with that, dwccrew, I do. But, when approached with, "Can you LOAN me some money?" and then discussing being paid back, I expect to be paid back.

Now, had I been approached with "Can you give me some money?", I'd have reacted accordingly (at the time, I'd have prolly said no, just because....I was younger, and etc.)...but, you do live and you do learn.

I would still loan my dad money, haha...but the thing is, I don't forsee him ever needing it. He can make it rain with the best of 'em.

So....actually....he MAY need it....

Upper90 wrote: And, see....at the core, I agree with that, dwccrew, I do. But, when approached with, "Can you LOAN me some money?" and then discussing being paid back, I expect to be paid back.

Now, had I been approached with "Can you give me some money?", I'd have reacted accordingly (at the time, I'd have prolly said no, just because....I was younger, and etc.)...but, you do live and you do learn.

I would still loan my dad money, haha...but the thing is, I don't forsee him ever needing it. He can make it rain with the best of 'em.

So....actually....he MAY need it....

This made me laugh out loud. HAHAHA

I hear ya brother, I really do. I would just respond, I can give you some money and if you want to pay me back, you can. If I really wanted them to pay me back, I would honestly have them sign a promissory note. But that is just me.

You've got to be able to give it with no strings attached to keep one's peace of mind. If you give it on "loan", it just creates a burden that weighs down the loaner more than the recepient. Gift family, loan acquaintences, donate to strangers.

Apple wrote: I bought a new back window for my son's car in August. ...a long story but the thing got busted out and he needed to get it fixed. The deal was that he would cut my grass 10 times to pay it off.

He hasn't cut it even once and he doesn't answer his phone or return text messages.

Looks like that'll be one less Christmas gift I will be buying this year...

Just chuck a brick through it. After all, it's your window.

With family it's usually never a "loan". When I hear can you loan me such and such I just consider it a gift. I've learned this over the years and it keeps you from getting pissed when you never see any payback.

I agree with Darkon. I never loan out money with an expectation of getting it back. That said, I won't loan any amount of money I can't afford NOT to get back.

Pretty much agree with everyone else. When family is involved and the need is genuine, just give them the money and don't expect any payback. Loans to family is bad news.

Yep....as long as I am not enabling them I don't loan family money I give it to them.

It sounds like you did the right thing. It just sucks that you're getting burnt for it.

Shitty situation brother.. Idk if you remember my thread about loaning friends money, but I feel for ya man

newarkcatholicfan wrote: My rule on loaning money out
Never loan to anyone I can not beat up.

Do you do "gap jumps" over the guy you just beat up?