Wedding Invitations - Question (could use some help)

Serious Business Backup 49 replies 1,274 views
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
May 6, 2010 10:52am
If parents/step-parents love you, want you to be happy, want the best experience for you on this the day of your nuptuals they will understand and be supportive of the manner you define the invitation to attend your wedding.

I respect your concern for their feelings but at the end of the day they shouldn't be experiencing ill feelings in any form.

Should my daughter choose to marry I will offer to pay for all the events of that day. If for some reason she and her future husband made a decision that I am not referenced or am not listed as the person extending the invitation to our guests, the last thing I would experience would be ill feelings towards her.

It's not about me or my feelings and I know she wouldn't be intentionally seeking to hurt me. I hope your parents and step-parent appreciate your concern ...whatever it is that you decide.
Websurfinbird's avatar
Websurfinbird
Posts: 656
May 6, 2010 11:49am
SnotBubbles wrote: BTW....websurfinbird....

What's your stance?
Honestly I don't feel it is my place to dictate how my fiance wants his parents names to appear on the wedding. I have no problem including his stepmom on the invite, but if it is not something that BigAppleBuckeye wants I respect that as well.

Here is another idea I thought of what do you all think?

Mr. and Mrs. WSB parents together with Ms. BAB mom and Mr. and Mrs. BAB dad cordially invite you the wedding of their daughter
Websurfinbird
to
BigAppleBuckeye
son of Ms. BAB mom and Mr. BAB dad

does that make sense??
sherm03's avatar
sherm03
Posts: 7,349
May 6, 2010 11:52am
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
I hear you man!

Thanks for all the posts everybody, keep them coming, this is good stuff. Very helpful
Its seriously mind-numbing. Etiquette says that every guest over 16 gets their own invitation. I have 3 cousins that still live at home. They are 18, 21, and 23. So that means that household is supposed to get 4 serarate invitations?!

Screw that noise...and screw the etiquette. LOL!
Scarlet_Buckeye's avatar
Scarlet_Buckeye
Posts: 5,264
May 6, 2010 11:52am
Your mother SHOULD BE very sensitive about the wording!!!! I really don't think it is appropriate to include the steps name on it. This is not a time to make a "statement". Honor your mother and father by using their names as they are your parents.

It should read

Ms. (your mother's name) and Mr. (your father's name) request the honor of your presence. blah blah blah
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
May 6, 2010 12:02pm
Fab4Runner wrote: My step parents will both be mentioned on my invitations. They have both been in my life for over 15 years and I love and care about them. My step dad will also be walking me down the aisle along with my dad. If there are any issues (which I do not believe there will be) I will sit them all down and explain why I made the choices and that this is my day and they will have to accept/respect my decisions. The end.
Best advice on this thread. I have a feeling you know what you want to do BAB, so do it, and sit everyone down and explain your decision. If they care about you, they will all understand.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
May 6, 2010 12:05pm
If they are not immature or selfish they won't think twice about it. As said, it's the bride and groom's day.
B
bigkahuna
Posts: 4,454
May 6, 2010 2:02pm
My wife's parents are divorced

My mom just married my step dad 4 years ago

ours read something like

Mr. Dad In Law and Ms. Mom in Law


Mr. and Mrs. Stepdadad's last name


I would go with what someone else said

Ms. BAB mom and Mr. & Mrs. BAB dad

I would think that putting your mom last would make it seem like she's an after thought
j_crazy's avatar
j_crazy
Posts: 8,372
May 6, 2010 2:09pm
No prior experience, but IMO. Unless you have no relationship with 1 biological parent, they should be the only ones on the invite.
N
Nate
Posts: 3,949
May 6, 2010 2:11pm
I have a feeling one day I'm going to be put into this situation. Unfortunately, I will only claim 1 mother ever. My stepmom will never be my mom or my childs grandma. Unless the woman has a huge impact on your upbringing, I would leave her out. It's not your dad or hers day, its yours.
Curly J's avatar
Curly J
Posts: 7,282
May 6, 2010 2:29pm
Just went through this...kinda. My ex and her husband got divorced prior to our Daughter's wedding.

On the Invitation it just said "Together with their Parents"

On the wedding program it listed us all

Mr & Mrs Groom's Parents
Mr & Mrs Curly J
Mr Bride's Step-Dad
Ms Bride's Whore Mom
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar
BigAppleBuckeye
Posts: 2,935
May 6, 2010 2:33pm
Curly J wrote: Just went through this...kinda. My ex and her husband got divorced prior to our Daughter's wedding.

On the Invitation it just said "Together with their Parents"

On the wedding program it listed us all

Mr & Mrs Groom's Parents
Mr & Mrs Curly J
Mr Bride's Step-Dad
Ms Bride's Whore Mom
haha, reminds me of the gameshow scene in Billy Madison haha
CenterBHSFan's avatar
CenterBHSFan
Posts: 6,115
May 6, 2010 6:33pm
Websurfinbird wrote: Here is another idea I thought of what do you all think?

Mr. and Mrs. WSB parents together with Ms. BAB mom and Mr. and Mrs. BAB dad cordially invite you the wedding of their daughter
Websurfinbird
to
BigAppleBuckeye
son of Ms. BAB mom and Mr. BAB dad

does that make sense??

That is exactly how I would do it!
O
OUgrad
Posts: 125
May 7, 2010 1:08pm
Just remember, women have long memories. If you hurt her feelings, and you plan on having any kind of relationship with her after you're married, think long and hard about how you handle this situation. And don't ask her how she feels about it, b/c she won't want to rock the boat (unless you have a very open and understanding relationship to begin with). Personally, I feel she needs to be included (in some way). I like websurfinbird's solution!
V
vball10set
Posts: 24,795
May 7, 2010 1:11pm
sej wrote: Mr. and Mrs BABdad and Ms BAB mom is the accepted method, I think.
you are correct ;)
T
Timber
Posts: 935
May 8, 2010 2:40am
One thing to remember... other than your immediate families... the majority of the people attending the wedding/reception won't give a rat's rear end what is on the invitation. Don't overthink it. Just do what you think is right for your family... you know the dynamics of the relationships and most likely what will happen in the future regarding those relationships.

My advice to all couples getting married... do not wear yourself out at the reception trying to make everybody there happy. Try to relax and enjoy your special day and everyone will have a great time... it goes incredibly fast. (Then the dog years start kicking in... LOL) Best wishes!
bcubed's avatar
bcubed
Posts: 410
May 8, 2010 9:36am
sherm03 wrote: Its seriously mind-numbing. Etiquette says that every guest over 16 gets their own invitation. I have 3 cousins that still live at home. They are 18, 21, and 23. So that means that household is supposed to get 4 serarate invitations?!

Screw that noise...and screw the etiquette. LOL!
I agree with sherm03, just say screw it all and go to Vegas and Elope! Then you can spend the money on blackjack and maybe make some dough instead of spending it.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
May 8, 2010 12:22pm
I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
sej's avatar
sej
Posts: 540
May 10, 2010 8:38am
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Probably no reason...other than they're Jewish.
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar
BigAppleBuckeye
Posts: 2,935
May 10, 2010 9:14am
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Because it was the only way I would be allowed to break glass at my wedding and not get yelled at :P
Websurfinbird's avatar
Websurfinbird
Posts: 656
May 10, 2010 9:57am
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Because it was the only way I would be allowed to break glass at my wedding and not get yelled at :P
Plus Jewish weddings are more fun.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
May 10, 2010 10:16am
Can I come?
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar
BigAppleBuckeye
Posts: 2,935
May 10, 2010 10:18am
sleeper wrote: Can I come?
It wouldn't be a wedding without you Sleeper! One condition: you have to incorporate "Take that to the Bank" into a speech at some point.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
May 10, 2010 10:19am
"These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar
BigAppleBuckeye
Posts: 2,935
May 10, 2010 10:25am
sleeper wrote: "These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
Worthy of a toast right there ... haha
Websurfinbird's avatar
Websurfinbird
Posts: 656
May 10, 2010 4:18pm
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
sleeper wrote: "These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
Worthy of a toast right there ... haha
Touche