I think your reason is good enough. 

I don't travel for weddings. "Have a good time without me, I'll UPS a gift."

Object at every wedding ceremony and word will travel fast...

Tell him you can’t be part of a celebration on the grounds where slaves broke their backs to survive or were killed. Lol Ryan Reynolds was bullied into apologizing for getting married at Boone Hall plantation. 

Which plantation? Charleston is a pretty good time but black tie sucks, especially if you don’t own a tux. There are some low cost airlines depending on where you’re flying from. I’d just rsvp no and hope he doesn’t ask, and if he does blame it on work like you said. 

I'm not sure, I'll have to check.

I haven't been to Charleston since I was in my early teens. I'd love to check it out...but on my own time. 

Yup no tux. Also my GF was invited too....so hassle and cost x 2.

You just RSVP no. I’ve never had someone ask why I can’t make a wedding. And I didn’t ask anyone when they couldn’t make mine.

posted by Laley23

You just RSVP no. I’ve never had someone ask why I can’t make a wedding. And I didn’t ask anyone when they couldn’t make mine.

This is what I've done for 3 weddings this year, and probably 7 total. I'm finally at a point financially that I fee like some of my cousins/in-laws are only inviting us because of an implication of a gift, so I don't feel too bad about not going to weddings of folks I'm not close to.

But yeah for a "destination wedding" or something that would burden me for travel, it'd have to be someone I'm VERY close to. I did travel for a wedding in Jackson Hole last year and it was someone I've been close to for years and between travel, and flying my kids to their grandparents it was a huge burden. So again it needs to be worth it to you, if it's not they will just have to understand.

Bang the bride-to-be?

I’m old and don’t have many friends, so I don’t have this problem. 

posted by BRF

I’m old and don’t have many friends, so I don’t have this problem. 

I’ll be your friend.

posted by Automatik

I'm not sure, I'll have to check.

I haven't been to Charleston since I was in my early teens. I'd love to check it out...but on my own time. 

Yup no tux. Also my GF was invited too....so hassle and cost x 2.

And you will feel even worse in 5yrs when you hear they have divorced.

posted by friendfromlowry

I’ll be your friend.

I’ll be his advocate.

posted by friendfromlowry

I’ll be your friend.

You already are my Chatter friend!

Just don’t invite me to a wedding.

posted by Devils Advocate

I’ll be his advocate.

I will take that.

Personal opinion but destination weddings are flat out bullshit and actually pretty selfish on the bride/groom side. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a lot of people would like to go to the Bahamas, or wherever, for vacation but to be forced to do so, AND pay for it, for someone else's wedding is pretty shitty. If the bride/groom are footing the bill, that's another story but I'd imagine that's rare. 

Lavish weddings are a waste of money anyhow. Guy I used to work with had a wedding with 500+ people. The meal was steak & lobster. His father-in-law had to pay for it but it probably cost him a boatload. Within 2 years the bride joined the FBI, cheated on the groom with a coworker and they're done. Better off using the money for a house or other investments.

Tell them you have your dog's quinceanera that weekend.

I'm sure this take (about weddings/destination weddings) won't be popular with many.

Depends on the person for me. 

Gladly the invite has a yes or no option. 

I assumed I was done with weddings but my oldest friend (our mom's were best friends growing up) is getting remarried in June. But it's a hillbilly wedding (I'm not 100% sure what we're wearing, but cowboy boots are involved) and the reception is a hog roast so it should be a good time.

I don't attend destination weddings on principle.  If you want to get married somewhere exotic, have at it, but do it on your own.  Quit acting like you're the first people to get married in the history of mankind. 

Same goes for couples showers and gender reveal parties.  Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold. 

posted by Dr Winston O'Boogie

  Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold. 

posted by Dr Winston O'Boogie

I don't attend destination weddings on principle.  If you want to get married somewhere exotic, have at it, but do it on your own.  Quit acting like you're the first people to get married in the history of mankind. 

Same goes for couples showers and gender reveal parties.  Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold. 

I think most people doing a destination wedding do it knowing that many people won’t come, and are cool with that. Same thing with childless receptions.

I’m with you on the gender reveal parties, but I’ve been to a few couples showers and it was a good time to hang out with the dudes when otherwise we wouldn’t have, and the women did their own thing.

We had a destination wedding - told 16 people we'd love to go on vacation with them. Paid for the flights and resort for the 2 friends who were still in college and not a part of the immediate family (and her parents picked up her 2 siblings + partners). Everyone else was 35+, and we would not have been offended if they didn't come.

Saved us tens of thousands of dollars, we had a great week with friends and close family, and we had to do a total of 1 hour of planning when we arrived at the resort. I think we could have paid for all 16, full trip, and come out ahead of current wedding pricing with catering, photography, alcohol, etc. Granted this was 2015 and I have no idea what the trip would cost now. 

posted by Automatik

I'm rather sick of traveling for other people. Call it selfish or whatever, I just dgaf anymore.

In the past 8 months, I've traveled for 2 bachelor parties and 1 wedding. The wedding was in St. John for my best friend, so I'll let that one slide.

The wedding is in Charleston. Black tie, white attire welcome party, on a plantation. I have zero desire to fork over the several thousand dollars and use the PTO to go. I just started a new job and my PTO is already very slim.

I'm approaching 40, I'm just over this shit. He's a good friend, but I wouldn't say like in my close "inner circle." I'm thinking I just RSVP no and if he asks, I blame work. 

I wouldn’t say a good friend is someone you rsvp as “no,” without any other form of communication with him.  If you think he’s a good enough friend, a courtesy text saying “hey man, I would love to come, but I can’t make it work.”  Short and to the point.  You don’t need to provide him an explanation, and imo it would be pretty ridiculous if he actually tried to fish an explanation out of you.

With that being said, I am with you being over with weddings.  I have a built in excuse of being overseas. I have one remaining good friend (not by your definition lol), where it would be a can’t miss wedding.