How do you (or I) get out of going to weddings?

Automatik Senior Member

15,737 posts 98 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 12:17 PM

I'm rather sick of traveling for other people. Call it selfish or whatever, I just dgaf anymore.

In the past 8 months, I've traveled for 2 bachelor parties and 1 wedding. The wedding was in St. John for my best friend, so I'll let that one slide.

The wedding is in Charleston. Black tie, white attire welcome party, on a plantation. I have zero desire to fork over the several thousand dollars and use the PTO to go. I just started a new job and my PTO is already very slim.

I'm approaching 40, I'm just over this shit. He's a good friend, but I wouldn't say like in my close "inner circle." I'm thinking I just RSVP no and if he asks, I blame work.

CenterBHSFan 333 - I'm only half evil

7,259 posts 55 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 12:22 PM

I think your reason is good enough.

I don't travel for weddings. "Have a good time without me, I'll UPS a gift."

brutus161 The Navy Guy

1,688 posts 25 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 12:32 PM

Object at every wedding ceremony and word will travel fast...

iclfan2 Reppin' the 330/216/843

9,465 posts 100 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 12:47 PM

Tell him you can’t be part of a celebration on the grounds where slaves broke their backs to survive or were killed. Lol Ryan Reynolds was bullied into apologizing for getting married at Boone Hall plantation.

Which plantation? Charleston is a pretty good time but black tie sucks, especially if you don’t own a tux. There are some low cost airlines depending on where you’re flying from. I’d just rsvp no and hope he doesn’t ask, and if he does blame it on work like you said.

Automatik Senior Member

15,737 posts 98 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 12:51 PM

I'm not sure, I'll have to check.

I haven't been to Charleston since I was in my early teens. I'd love to check it out...but on my own time.

Yup no tux. Also my GF was invited too....so hassle and cost x 2.

Laley23 GOAT

33,369 posts 133 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 1:19 PM

You just RSVP no. I’ve never had someone ask why I can’t make a wedding. And I didn’t ask anyone when they couldn’t make mine.

j_crazy 7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,623 posts 30 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 1:35 PM

posted by Laley23
You just RSVP no. I’ve never had someone ask why I can’t make a wedding. And I didn’t ask anyone when they couldn’t make mine.

This is what I've done for 3 weddings this year, and probably 7 total. I'm finally at a point financially that I fee like some of my cousins/in-laws are only inviting us because of an implication of a gift, so I don't feel too bad about not going to weddings of folks I'm not close to.

But yeah for a "destination wedding" or something that would burden me for travel, it'd have to be someone I'm VERY close to. I did travel for a wedding in Jackson Hole last year and it was someone I've been close to for years and between travel, and flying my kids to their grandparents it was a huge burden. So again it needs to be worth it to you, if it's not they will just have to understand.

Heretic Son of the Sun

20,517 posts 204 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 2:08 PM

Bang the bride-to-be?

BRF Senior Member

11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 5:21 PM

I’m old and don’t have many friends, so I don’t have this problem.

friendfromlowry Senior Member

7,778 posts 87 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 6:27 PM

posted by BRF
I’m old and don’t have many friends, so I don’t have this problem.

I’ll be your friend.

majorspark Senior Member

5,459 posts 39 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 6:52 PM

posted by Automatik
I'm not sure, I'll have to check.
I haven't been to Charleston since I was in my early teens. I'd love to check it out...but on my own time.
Yup no tux. Also my GF was invited too....so hassle and cost x 2.

And you will feel even worse in 5yrs when you hear they have divorced.

Devils Advocate Brudda o da bomber

4,899 posts 101 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 9:28 PM

posted by friendfromlowry
I’ll be your friend.

I’ll be his advocate.

BRF Senior Member

11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 11:07 PM

posted by friendfromlowry
I’ll be your friend.

You already are my Chatter friend!

Just don’t invite me to a wedding.

BRF Senior Member

11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009

Tue, Mar 19, 2024 11:07 PM

posted by Devils Advocate
I’ll be his advocate.

I will take that.

BR1986FB Senior Member

27,923 posts 126 reps Joined Feb 2010

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 7:55 AM

Personal opinion but destination weddings are flat out bullshit and actually pretty selfish on the bride/groom side. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a lot of people would like to go to the Bahamas, or wherever, for vacation but to be forced to do so, AND pay for it, for someone else's wedding is pretty shitty. If the bride/groom are footing the bill, that's another story but I'd imagine that's rare.

Lavish weddings are a waste of money anyhow. Guy I used to work with had a wedding with 500+ people. The meal was steak & lobster. His father-in-law had to pay for it but it probably cost him a boatload. Within 2 years the bride joined the FBI, cheated on the groom with a coworker and they're done. Better off using the money for a house or other investments.

Tell them you have your dog's quinceanera that weekend.

I'm sure this take (about weddings/destination weddings) won't be popular with many.

Automatik Senior Member

15,737 posts 98 reps Joined Nov 2009

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 9:48 AM

Depends on the person for me.

Gladly the invite has a yes or no option.

justincredible Honorable Admin

37,969 posts 250 reps Joined Nov 2009

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 11:51 AM

I assumed I was done with weddings but my oldest friend (our mom's were best friends growing up) is getting remarried in June. But it's a hillbilly wedding (I'm not 100% sure what we're wearing, but cowboy boots are involved) and the reception is a hog roast so it should be a good time.

Dr Winston O'Boogie Senior Member

3,345 posts 36 reps Joined Oct 2010

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 12:12 PM

I don't attend destination weddings on principle. If you want to get married somewhere exotic, have at it, but do it on your own. Quit acting like you're the first people to get married in the history of mankind.

Same goes for couples showers and gender reveal parties. Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold.

BRF Senior Member

11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 1:33 PM

posted by Dr Winston O'Boogie
Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold.

LOL!

iclfan2 Reppin' the 330/216/843

9,465 posts 100 reps Joined Nov 2009

Wed, Mar 20, 2024 2:15 PM

posted by Dr Winston O'Boogie
I don't attend destination weddings on principle. If you want to get married somewhere exotic, have at it, but do it on your own. Quit acting like you're the first people to get married in the history of mankind.

Same goes for couples showers and gender reveal parties. Gender reveal parties are something assholes hold.

I think most people doing a destination wedding do it knowing that many people won’t come, and are cool with that. Same thing with childless receptions.

I’m with you on the gender reveal parties, but I’ve been to a few couples showers and it was a good time to hang out with the dudes when otherwise we wouldn’t have, and the women did their own thing.

GOONx19 An exceptional poster.

7,413 posts 94 reps Joined Nov 2009

Thu, Mar 21, 2024 9:09 AM

We had a destination wedding - told 16 people we'd love to go on vacation with them. Paid for the flights and resort for the 2 friends who were still in college and not a part of the immediate family (and her parents picked up her 2 siblings + partners). Everyone else was 35+, and we would not have been offended if they didn't come.

Saved us tens of thousands of dollars, we had a great week with friends and close family, and we had to do a total of 1 hour of planning when we arrived at the resort. I think we could have paid for all 16, full trip, and come out ahead of current wedding pricing with catering, photography, alcohol, etc. Granted this was 2015 and I have no idea what the trip would cost now.

How do you (or I) get out of going to weddings?

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