very sad day

Serious Business 17 replies 572 views
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Aug 28, 2014 11:06am
A guy I used to work with isn't doing well. He got lung cancer about 4 years ago and missed a few years of work before retiring on disability. Anyways, this guy was very instrumental in me becoming good at my job. He took me under his wing for a lot of projects and saved my butt a lot in the early years. Now he's got cancer all of his body and isnt long for the world. I stopped at his house today b/c his wife called and said he wasn't doing well....

I could barely hear his voice, hes so weak. He's in, from what I can tell, a ton of pain, but won't admit it. His BP was about 70/45 when I was in there. You can tell he's not long for this world. He's got a 14 year old daughter who just started high school and that's the majoirty of what's on his mind. He's still polite enough to ask how my son is doing and trying not to doze off while I'm talking to him. I'm a pretty tough guy but i teared up as i left and pretty much lost it in the car on the way back to work. I've known people with cancer before but I've never seen it just waste someone away like this before.

Just an all around terrible situation.

I'm sure others on here have seen family and loved ones go through this too.
V
vball10set
Posts: 24,795
Aug 28, 2014 11:12am
That's rough, Zwick, there's no easy way to deal with something like this, other than to go home and hug your wife, kids, gf, whomever. It's amazing how much it helps.
B
BR1986FB
Posts: 24,104
Aug 28, 2014 11:13am
Sorry you've had to see your friend in this state. My father, who I wasn't close with, passed about a month ago at age 81. He had cancer riddled through his body at the end where large tumors were just popping up through his chest in a 24-48 hour period. I went to see him a few months back when they put him in a nursing home to recover and he was a shell of his former self. Seeing a guy who used to be 320 lbs down to 150-ish lbs was a shock.
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar
ZWICK 4 PREZ
Posts: 7,733
Aug 28, 2014 11:23am
well you automatically think about all the good times you had and he was a fun guy to be around so in my early years we'd stop at a bar after work and grab a beer or two before heading home and we'd go to browns games a lot together b/c he had season tickets and his wife could careless. And now you see him like this and its like god damn it feels like yesterday we're bbq'ing in the muni lot and now you can even get out of bed.
Belly35's avatar
Belly35
Posts: 9,716
Aug 28, 2014 11:40am
z4p I understand your emotional ties, few years a go the same thing happen to me .. I miss the old guy and the short time we spent together is priceless. Funny how people we meet, some of the most unexpected individuals have such an influence on our lives. Just think you may be having that same influence on some else someday...

Do what you can for the family ...
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Aug 28, 2014 11:44am
God's Peace to you Zwick. Sorry to hear. I too experienced this with my father some 8 years ago.
Heretic's avatar
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Aug 28, 2014 11:55am
Yeah, stuff like that sucks. Sorry to hear that, man.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Aug 28, 2014 12:07pm
Sorry Z4P
Q
QuakerOats
Posts: 8,740
Aug 28, 2014 1:27pm
Sorry to hear; makes you appreciate the good times when you have them; it seems like they are fleeting the older we get.
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Wally
Posts: 481
Aug 28, 2014 1:47pm
I have a lot of respect for you going to see him. It had to be hard.
HitsRus's avatar
HitsRus
Posts: 9,206
Aug 28, 2014 5:50pm
Stuff like this puts our lives in perspective....how much we take for granted...how much we stress over things that really aren't that important.
cruiser_96's avatar
cruiser_96
Posts: 7,536
Aug 28, 2014 6:26pm
HitsRus;1648480 wrote:Stuff like this puts our lives in perspective....how much we take for granted...how much we stress over things that really aren't that important.
Ditto.

z4p: props to you for heading over. I should probably visit a few folks who were instrumental in my upbringing. Hopefully I can do it while we're all healthy. Thanks for sharing. I assume it meant a great deal to him.
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Aug 28, 2014 7:57pm
My thoughts are with you. My aunt (whom I was very close with) passed away a few months ago due to lung cancer.
Laley23's avatar
Laley23
Posts: 29,506
Aug 28, 2014 8:14pm
Belly35;1648367 wrote:Just think you may be having that same influence on some else someday...
Best advice on this thread.

Always sucks to see someone you are close with fighting a battle they arent going to win. But, it makes you realize what a great person they were and really puts stuff into perspective. I know when I saw my fiancees grandmother on her death bed it really hit home how loved she was, and how I want my granchildren and children and friends to be thinking the same thing about me someday.

Tough to take positives, but that is one that you can do and it will make you a better individual in the long run.
Dr Winston O'Boogie's avatar
Dr Winston O'Boogie
Posts: 1,799
Aug 28, 2014 8:17pm
HitsRus;1648480 wrote:Stuff like this puts our lives in perspective....how much we take for granted...how much we stress over things that really aren't that important.
Good points. Cadillac Problems I call them - the day to day nonsense I get worked up about. Hearing Zwick's story is a good reminder to be thankful of the important things.

Zwick, being with your friend gives him some peace even if it doesn't show. Showing up at your friend's house was being a man and it means something important to his family. I'll pray for your mentor.
Ironman92's avatar
Ironman92
Posts: 49,363
Aug 28, 2014 8:50pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ;1648353 wrote:A guy I used to work with isn't doing well. He got lung cancer about 4 years ago and missed a few years of work before retiring on disability. Anyways, this guy was very instrumental in me becoming good at my job. He took me under his wing for a lot of projects and saved my butt a lot in the early years. Now he's got cancer all of his body and isnt long for the world. I stopped at his house today b/c his wife called and said he wasn't doing well....

I could barely hear his voice, hes so weak. He's in, from what I can tell, a ton of pain, but won't admit it. His BP was about 70/45 when I was in there. You can tell he's not long for this world. He's got a 14 year old daughter who just started high school and that's the majoirty of what's on his mind. He's still polite enough to ask how my son is doing and trying not to doze off while I'm talking to him. I'm a pretty tough guy but i teared up as i left and pretty much lost it in the car on the way back to work. I've known people with cancer before but I've never seen it just waste someone away like this before.

Just an all around terrible situation.

I'm sure others on here have seen family and loved ones go through this too.
Yeah, those situations are so damn hard.

When I was about 20 yrs old I was witness to my 62 year old grandma (who worked at a cabinet factory for 20+ years and up until Mother's Day that year.) I was out for summer and she was diagnosed with a late stage cancer and I stayed with her most every day. Watching grown tough guys that she worked with come to visit and leaving in tears was killer. She didn't make it to Father's Day.

Sorry about your friend Zwick
OSH's avatar
OSH
Posts: 4,145
Aug 29, 2014 11:58am
I am late to this one, but around the same time you (Zwick) posted this, a friend of mine's wife went through an operation...sucks man. Very sad day indeed.

She's been in the hospital for 4 weeks with some phantom infection. Gave her meds to keep blood circulating around her heart and vital organs for weeks (infection was in lungs, kidneys, and such). Unfortunately, this meant that her extremities weren't getting blood flow. Yesterday morning, they amputated her left leg below her knee and her right foot around the ankle area. She's like 45ish. Great shape. Extremely smart. Unbelievable person.

Before her surgery, she tells one of her daughter's that she is sorry. Totally selfless. I keep updates regularly on them, this is when it sucks being 12+ hours away from family and friends. Incredible family.
gerb131's avatar
gerb131
Posts: 9,932
Aug 29, 2014 8:17pm
Sucks man. Keep up with the fam after he passes.