Greatest Twitter on the intrawebs

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BCSbunk

Senior Member

972 posts
Dec 30, 2009 4:13 PM
Shit my dad says.

I have been following this for a while now and it is freaking hiliarous.

"We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit."

10:57 AM Oct 6th from web "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

10:03 AM Oct 5th from web "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."

5:57 PM Oct 3rd from web "You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."

5:08 PM Oct 1st from web "Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat."

10:28 AM Sep 30th from web "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening."

12:47 PM Sep 28th from web Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition

http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

Enjoy!
Dec 30, 2009 4:13pm
B

BCSbunk

Senior Member

972 posts
Dec 30, 2009 4:15 PM
I just noticed I put this in the wrong forum could a mod please move it to serious business?
Dec 30, 2009 4:15pm
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fiver

Senior Member

138 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:03 PM
"You're like a tornado of bullshit right now."...hahahaha pure fuckin' classic!
Dec 30, 2009 5:03pm
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:06 PM
LOL I'm totally adding this and following it
Dec 30, 2009 5:06pm
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Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:09 PM
I'm now following. This is my fave so far.

"I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."
Dec 30, 2009 5:09pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:16 PM
(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

This whole feed is classic.
Dec 30, 2009 5:16pm
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:25 PM
"Fine, let's take a vote, who wants fish for dinner? Yeah, democracy's not so fun when it fucks you, huh?
Dec 30, 2009 5:25pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:32 PM
There's some hilarious lines there.

"I hate paying bills... Son, don't say 'me too'. I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of 'go away'."
Dec 30, 2009 5:32pm
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:42 PM
this may be on par with textsfromlastnight for the laugh factor
Dec 30, 2009 5:42pm
B

BCSbunk

Senior Member

972 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:52 PM
"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
11:26 AM Nov 13th from web

LMAO
Dec 30, 2009 5:52pm
B

BCSbunk

Senior Member

972 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:53 PM
This is my favorite of the lot.

"Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say."
11:22 AM Sep 6th from web
Dec 30, 2009 5:53pm
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raiderbuck

Senior Member

1,623 posts
Dec 30, 2009 5:54 PM
Umm..yea, see my sig!
Dec 30, 2009 5:54pm