I've always wondered about this... When a co-worker has a family member die, do you go out of your way to say that you are sorry for their loss, if this is a co-worker with whom you rarely converse? Does the action of going out of your way to say this show that you're only saying this because you feel obligated? Do you not mention it to the person, b/c you know EVERYONE else is going out of their way to give their condolences?

What's the common protocol? I'm guessing that common protocol is to just say you're sorry for their loss, regardless.

Is it a male co-worker or a female co-worker?

I wouldn't go out of my way. If one of my family members died I would want left alone.

Depends on the co-worker.

If it's someone I get along with, I'd definitely talk to them.

With others (people I don't communicate with normally or people I dislike), it'd be more along the lines of me signing a card if someone passes one around and giving condolences if I'm around that person and it comes up. But I wouldn't make a point to start a conversation with them just to bring that up.

There are only 5 people in our office and we all work in the same room. I'd have to go out of my way to NOT say something.

IMO, a simple condolence ("I'm sorry for your loss") is appropriate.

vball10set;1533877 wrote:IMO, a simple condolence ("I'm sorry for your loss") is appropriate.

Agreed.

Prayers from here.

Victory in Jesus.

If someone in my family died, I wouldn't tell anyone to not cause this issue. The last thing I need is people reminding me.

If someone close to me died, I'd feel that the only reason people would be talking to me (that don't normally do), is BECAUSE of the death, therefore making it charity.

I think you should always ask if they were saved.

If they say yes, say good.

If they say no, say that they will be going to hell with you.

I disagree with the "wouldn't want to be reminded of it." Did you temporarily forget that your family member died? And when someone brings it up, you're like "Oh yeah, shit, that did happen..."
I don't know what I would do, but I wouldn't be distraught if someone I didn't always talk to offered their condolences. At least I'd know they're considerate and thinking of me.

friendfromlowry;1533931 wrote:I disagree with the "wouldn't want to be reminded of it." Did you temporarily forget that your family member died? And when someone brings it up, you're like "Oh yeah, shit, that did happen..."
I don't know what I would do, but I wouldn't be distraught if someone I didn't always talk to offered their condolences. At least I'd know they're considerate and thinking of me.

I'm more cynical. I wouldn't always see it as them "thinking of me," rather thinking, "I guess I better go and be considerate."

ernest_t_bass;1533837 wrote:I've always wondered about this... When a co-worker has a family member die, do you go out of your way to say that you are sorry for their loss, if this is a co-worker with whom you rarely converse? Does the action of going out of your way to say this show that you're only saying this because you feel obligated? Do you not mention it to the person, b/c you know EVERYONE else is going out of their way to give their condolences?

What's the common protocol? I'm guessing that common protocol is to just say you're sorry for their loss, regardless.

If you don't have interaction with this person and barely know the person . Do not say anything . If you have interaction on a daily basis , when you see the person offer your condolances and leave it at that . If you are close to the person then I guess you will be at the funeral home and or funeral anyway. People who lose somebody don't need to be bothered extra by people they do not know hardly at all . Maybe a person in the place you work gets a card and everybody signs it and maybe leave a few bucks . That should help.