Abstinence Is the Way to Go... Even After "I Do."

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ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:21 PM
http://www.larknews.com/archives/217


Edit... it's satire.


Apr 17, 2013 3:21pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:24 PM
Abstinence is the way to go?

Maybe if you're a eunuch or impotent.


But yeah, this has to be a parody site. The articles on there are kinda funny, like the one with the boy mentioning how he saw heaven during an operation...but grandma wasn't there...
Apr 17, 2013 3:24pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:26 PM
About their founder:
One radio report described his writing as “pithy Christian satire on par with the irreverence of Saturday Night Live and The Onion.” His website, LarkNews.com, earned the Christian industry’s top honor, the Grady Nutt Humor Award, during Dove Awards week in Nashville in 2005 and made Joel the subject of profiles in Christianity Today and leading secular magazines.
Yep, that's satire.
Apr 17, 2013 3:26pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:27 PM
It's a satire site.
Apr 17, 2013 3:27pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:27 PM
I think it's satire.
Apr 17, 2013 3:27pm
karen lotz's avatar

karen lotz

TuTu Train

22,284 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:29 PM
Could be satire.
Apr 17, 2013 3:29pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:30 PM
Apr 17, 2013 3:30pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:31 PM
ernest_t_bass;1427559 wrote:
Calm down, Dan.
Apr 17, 2013 3:31pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:31 PM
I feel like I should be reporting claims on a national scale, in regards to the Boston Marathon bombing.
Apr 17, 2013 3:31pm
Midstate01's avatar

Midstate01

Senior Member

14,766 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:33 PM
More like abstinence is what happens ONCE you get married.
Apr 17, 2013 3:33pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Apr 17, 2013 3:34 PM
ernest_t_bass;1427562 wrote:I feel like I should be reporting claims on a national scale, in regards to the Boston Marathon bombing.
ETB NEWS NETWORK:

3:21 p.m.: Found couple who haven't had sex. Two years after getting married. Claim that abstinence is the way to go...even after marriage.

3:30 p.m.: NOTE: It has come to our attention that the above story is actually a hoax. We apologize for the inconvenience.


Ah, you're about three falsehoods and two backtracks away from being part of the Boston-related media, man.
Apr 17, 2013 3:34pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Apr 17, 2013 5:39 PM
I think the story is satirical in nature.
Apr 17, 2013 5:39pm
hasbeen's avatar

hasbeen

Excuse me, Flo?

6,504 posts
Apr 17, 2013 7:27 PM
Is this satire?
Apr 17, 2013 7:27pm
Mohican00's avatar

Mohican00

Dirty White Boy

3,394 posts
Apr 17, 2013 9:53 PM
larknews - possibly satire
Apr 17, 2013 9:53pm
DeyDurkie5's avatar

DeyDurkie5

Senior Member

11,324 posts
Apr 17, 2013 10:19 PM
It's confirmed satire.
Apr 17, 2013 10:19pm
cruiser_96's avatar

cruiser_96

Senior Member

7,536 posts
Apr 17, 2013 10:20 PM
The Boston Herald, Fox News, and CNN are all reporting that this is satire.
Apr 17, 2013 10:20pm
Mohican00's avatar

Mohican00

Dirty White Boy

3,394 posts
Apr 17, 2013 11:36 PM
cruiser_96;1427808 wrote:The Boston Herald, Fox News, and CNN are all reporting that this is satire.
NYPost confirms 12 dead, though
Apr 17, 2013 11:36pm
ts1227's avatar

ts1227

Senior Member

12,319 posts
Apr 18, 2013 12:05 AM
The Ohio General Assembly inserted a rider into the budget that essentially says to teach this in sex ed, so no one told them it was satire
Apr 18, 2013 12:05am
reclegend22's avatar

reclegend22

Cool Hand Luke

8,772 posts
Apr 18, 2013 8:55 AM
After carefully gathering all of the information provided here, I think this is satire.
Apr 18, 2013 8:55am
S

Sonofanump

Apr 18, 2013 10:03 AM
[INDENT]Who cares? Next week it will be the same shit. ETB will start four spin off threads after three weeks snot will make fun of him along with COA and l_t then sleeper will switch back to talking about Notre Dame's bowl record.[/INDENT]
Apr 18, 2013 10:03am
cruiser_96's avatar

cruiser_96

Senior Member

7,536 posts
Apr 18, 2013 12:36 PM
Sonofanump;1428026 wrote:[INDENT]Who cares? Next week it will be the same ****. ETB will start four spin off threads after three weeks snot will make fun of him along with COA and l_t then sleeper will switch back to talking about Notre Dame's bowl record.[/INDENT]
I don't think this quoted posted is satire. :confused:
Apr 18, 2013 12:36pm
reclegend22's avatar

reclegend22

Cool Hand Luke

8,772 posts
Apr 18, 2013 2:19 PM
I don't even want to know the origin of the "Who cares. Next year it will be the same shit" post/meme. It appeared in a Duke thread once and it was gold.

Reminds me of the time some guy came on here trying to sell electronics in every single thread on the board lol.
Apr 18, 2013 2:19pm