FatHobbit
Posts: 8,651
Apr 8, 2013 5:02pm
[INDENT]The Coyote Principle
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a
nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites
the Governor.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is
only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish &
Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now
free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease
throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent
with additional special training on "The Nature Of Coyotes."
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million
suit against the State.
TEXAS :
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.
[/INDENT]
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a
nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites
the Governor.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is
only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish &
Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now
free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease
throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent
with additional special training on "The Nature Of Coyotes."
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million
suit against the State.
TEXAS :
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.
[/INDENT]
Devils Advocate
Posts: 4,539
Apr 8, 2013 5:20pm
TEXAS :
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
3. The Texas governor claims that he was saved by God's grace.
4. The Texas governor has a press conference to refute the claim that his dog has rabies and that his dog just drools kind of frothy.
5. Texas coyotes must now carry a green card or proof of citizenship, or be shot on site.
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
3. The Texas governor claims that he was saved by God's grace.
4. The Texas governor has a press conference to refute the claim that his dog has rabies and that his dog just drools kind of frothy.
5. Texas coyotes must now carry a green card or proof of citizenship, or be shot on site.
HitsRus
Posts: 9,206
Apr 8, 2013 6:47pm
^^^^I still take Texas.
believer
Posts: 8,153
Apr 9, 2013 5:18am
without a doubtHitsRus;1421638 wrote:^^^^I still take Texas.
Q
QuakerOats
Posts: 8,740
Apr 9, 2013 7:08am
Any sane person would take Texas. It is when you stop 'doing common sense', that you begin doing BIG government.
W
WebFire
Posts: 14,779
Apr 9, 2013 8:21am
I fucking hate California. We have an office there. I fucking hate California.
fish82
Posts: 4,111
Apr 9, 2013 1:32pm
Yup.HitsRus;1421638 wrote:^^^^I still take Texas.
Z
Zombaypirate
Posts: 581
Apr 9, 2013 6:08pm
crap and I thought Texas had a surplus http://amarillo.com/news/latest-news/2013-02-05/texas-lawmakers-face-5-billion-budget-deficit Looks like a few steps were left out of the dreamers OP.
G
gut
Posts: 15,058
Apr 9, 2013 6:45pm
So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
Z
Zombaypirate
Posts: 581
Apr 10, 2013 6:15pm
polarization complete!!!!!!!!!gut;1422474 wrote:So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
HitsRus
Posts: 9,206
Apr 10, 2013 10:28pm
^^^I'll take the tax credit.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Apr 10, 2013 11:20pm
lol'd. Well-played.gut;1422474 wrote:So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
The liberal Senator wastes time we're paying for to write and present a bill that won't keep rocks out of the hands of those who wish to use them maliciously.
The Repub Representative gives the tax credit with no plan to try to lower spending to counter-balance that credit, contributing to the country going further into debt.
Both are knuckleheads.
G
gut
Posts: 15,058
Apr 10, 2013 11:54pm
You left out the part where bars won't prevent rocks from flying thru your window.O-Trap;1423207 wrote:lol'd. Well-played.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Apr 11, 2013 1:20am
Maybe if the rocks are big enough ... or if you have enough bars to put them close together ...gut;1423225 wrote:You left out the part where bars won't prevent rocks from flying thru your window.
Hell, I don't know.
Reminds me of a Lewis Black clip:
[video=youtube;kqfDqDB8uzE][/video]
Glory Days
Posts: 7,809
Apr 11, 2013 2:33am
I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.WebFire;1422137 wrote:I fucking hate California. We have an office there. I fucking hate California.
Z
Zombaypirate
Posts: 581
Apr 13, 2013 8:58am
but you moved there, why? Were there no jobs elsewhere?Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Apr 13, 2013 11:21am
Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.
They transfer policy officers out of state?
hasbeen
Posts: 6,504
Apr 13, 2013 12:47pm
O-Trap;1424659 wrote:They transfer policy officers out of state?
California is where all the bad ones go to assault citizens.
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Apr 13, 2013 1:21pm
hasbeen;1424726 wrote:California is where all the bad ones go to assault citizens.
Easy. I've got an uncle who is a member of the LAPD.
Q
QuakerOats
Posts: 8,740
Apr 13, 2013 1:41pm
Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.
You have my condolences.
hasbeen
Posts: 6,504
Apr 13, 2013 3:29pm
For now, at least. :laugh:O-Trap;1424756 wrote:Easy. I've got an uncle who is a member of the LAPD.
Glory Days
Posts: 7,809
Apr 13, 2013 11:14pm
I work on the national level now. on the list of places i could live, weather, things to do and places to travel to were at the top of my list. it beat living on the border or in minnesota etc in those categories.Zombaypirate;1424604 wrote:but you moved there, why? Were there no jobs elsewhere?
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Apr 13, 2013 11:33pm
I'm guessing Minnesota would have been more peaceful.Glory Days;1425112 wrote:I work on the national level now. on the list of places i could live, weather, things to do and places to travel to were at the top of my list. it beat living on the border or in minnesota etc in those categories.
Glory Days
Posts: 7,809
Apr 15, 2013 2:04am
maybe for 2 months a year. after living for a few years without snow, i enjoyed it!O-Trap;1425127 wrote:I'm guessing Minnesota would have been more peaceful.