The Most Painfully Annoying Business Expressions

Serious Business Backup 28 replies 917 views
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Dec 21, 2009 1:50pm
http://www.forbes.com/2009/12/16/annoying-business-jargon-entrepreneurs-management-jargon.html

Some of these are dead on.

"Take It To The Next Level"

In theory, this means to make something better. In practice, "the phrase means absolutely nothing," says Laurent Duperval, who runs an eponymous consulting company in Quebec. "Nobody knows what the next level actually looks like, so how am I supposed to know when I've reached it?"
gorocks99's avatar
gorocks99
Posts: 10,760
Dec 21, 2009 1:53pm
Circle back ... yes. Out of pocket ... yes. Low-hanging fruit ... yes.

Lets see, what else ...

"PTO"
"EOD"
"Key insights"

There are more, I can't think of them right now b/c my head is filled with useless jargon.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 21, 2009 2:03pm
I hate pretty much any business expression and acronyms.
Q
queencitybuckeye
Posts: 7,117
Dec 21, 2009 2:12pm
Everything being a "system". The construction industry is particularly guilty here. Some joists with plywood and carpet laid across them is not a "flooring system", it's a fucking floor.

Also, using nouns as verbs, as in "I'll effort to get those to you tomorrow". What's wrong with the correct word, such as "try"?
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Dec 21, 2009 2:30pm
nouns as a verb....google. :)
Little Danny's avatar
Little Danny
Posts: 4,288
Dec 21, 2009 2:52pm
One used quite frequently in my office is when someone leaves a mass email will go around "wishing that person well in their future endevours".

Why don't they just say what they really mean and say "Don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out?"
P
Polar Bear 73
Posts: 216
Dec 21, 2009 2:55pm
"Thinking outside the box". I heard some comedian say, "if you are truly thinking outside the box, why does it have to be a box".

Another favorite that I hear at almost every staff meeting, "let's take this offline".
Curly J's avatar
Curly J
Posts: 7,282
Dec 21, 2009 2:57pm
Famous line where I work is "Make it happen".
mucalum49's avatar
mucalum49
Posts: 1,639
Dec 21, 2009 3:04pm
The list is pretty accurate but the reader comments had my two favorites "touch base" or the business/multi-use "it is what it is".

Sadly in my MBA classes I hear a lot of these regularly.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 21, 2009 3:08pm
"It is what it is" makes me want to stab myself in the ear. My wife hears one all the time at work that I have luckily never heard or I would kill myself: "the net net of it."
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 21, 2009 3:09pm
These expressions play a very large role in my quest to get out of the corporate world.
tsst_fballfan's avatar
tsst_fballfan
Posts: 406
Dec 21, 2009 3:23pm
synergies
right sizing
xnds1fan's avatar
xnds1fan
Posts: 442
Dec 21, 2009 4:23pm
"World Class"
september63's avatar
september63
Posts: 5,789
Dec 21, 2009 4:25pm
downsizing........
I
I Wear Pants
Posts: 16,223
Dec 21, 2009 4:51pm
gorocks99 wrote: Circle back ... yes. Out of pocket ... yes. Low-hanging fruit ... yes.

Lets see, what else ...

"PTO"
"EOD"
"Key insights"

There are more, I can't think of them right now b/c my head is filled with useless jargon.
I thought low-hanging fruit was just an economic principle.
D
Def Leopard
Posts: 176
Dec 21, 2009 4:51pm
One that I hear almost daily is "moving forward".
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Dec 21, 2009 4:53pm
My most hated acronym:

SLA

Die in a fire, SLA's.
O-Trap's avatar
O-Trap
Posts: 14,994
Dec 21, 2009 5:09pm
Skill set
Level of experience
"Shake hands and kiss babies"
CPM (If CPM were a person, I'd kill it in the nuts.)
Paradigm shift
Key demographic
Business model
Went a different direction
In the red
In the black

What is most sad is that I've already caught myself saying these from time to time, because I hear them so often. Grrrrrr.
M
Manhattan Buckeye
Posts: 7,566
Dec 21, 2009 5:12pm
Polar Bear 73 wrote: "Thinking outside the box". I heard some comedian say, "if you are truly thinking outside the box, why does it have to be a box".
This, such a stupid concept. I'm surprised it didn't make Forbes' list.
F
fan_from_texas
Posts: 2,693
Dec 21, 2009 5:45pm
Synergies.
Right-sizing
Realigning expectations in light of the difficult economic environment
Unprecedented events of the past year
Incentivizing
Aligning capacity to reflect forseeable demand
M
Manhattan Buckeye
Posts: 7,566
Dec 21, 2009 5:51pm
^^^^

adding one more:

"we are not immune to the effects of the current global economy"
believer's avatar
believer
Posts: 8,153
Dec 21, 2009 7:15pm
Due to the economy we've had to right-size the organization by tapping into key synergies that will be discussed in-depth off-line by key players going forward.

I cringe every time I hear this nonsense, but it is what it is! lol
Cleveland Buck's avatar
Cleveland Buck
Posts: 5,126
Dec 21, 2009 8:09pm
I say 'it is what it is' several times a week when I'm trying to sell some equipment. It means nothing, but most of what I'm saying doesn't mean anything, I'm just trying to make them feel comfortable enough to send my boss a $20,000 check without even seeing what they are getting first.
darbypitcher22's avatar
darbypitcher22
Posts: 8,000
Dec 21, 2009 8:13pm
pretty nice list there
C
captain_obvious
Posts: 82
Dec 21, 2009 8:17pm
my favorite: "Punt" This was a reply from a higher up that had no answer. He probably should have replyed "run away", as he was no help and just hid from the issue with the salesmen out on a limb all by himself.