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Imagine yourself in this situation

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friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Aug 18, 2011 2:15 AM
For the record, this is purely hypothetical. This didn't happen to me, but I've always wondered how I'd handle it and wanted to see what you guys thought.

So you're out to eat with this girl you just recently meant and have been talking to. The idea of dating is there, but you're still in the 'getting to know you' stage and setting up a base. The topic of past relationships comes up. She admits her last relationship was spoiled because she cheated on the guy. Further prying reveals the relationship was otherwise "fine" -- there was nothing that the guy did that drove her to that; it was completely her own doing. Let's also suppose this was a matter of months ago (3-6)

So what's your next move? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Can she learn from her past? To me, you can approach the situation with two viewpoints:
1) That was the past, that was them, that was him. This is different. She's changed, more mature, this won't happen.
2) Obviously this girl has issues to cheat on an otherwise decent guy, who's to say I'm not next?

I'm just curious as to how you guys would handle this? I don't think I could get away from viewpoint 1. I would stay up at night wondering if the same would happen to me.

We know how Ginuwine feels: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ny0uQQq3bw
Aug 18, 2011 2:15am
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bradmaynard

Senior Member

277 posts
Aug 18, 2011 2:19 AM
PIHB
Aug 18, 2011 2:19am
4cards's avatar

4cards

Ohio Chatter Legend

2,551 posts
Aug 18, 2011 7:46 AM
.. She might have been dating a nerd like Justin who did nothing but put her feet to sleep. I'd hit it and then move on!
Aug 18, 2011 7:46am
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thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Aug 19, 2011 9:49 AM
If she is hot then just use her for sex and dont get too involved emotionally.

If she isnt....then let her go. If she cheated on a BF whom she had no other complaints about then she will cheat again.
Aug 19, 2011 9:49am
G

gut

Senior Member

15,058 posts
Aug 19, 2011 9:58 AM
There are people who feel a need to always be in a relationship. We all know them, people who hang on even though they aren't really into that person, and actively continue to look for something better.

Otherwise, your hypothetical is practically inconceivable. I can't imagine a woman volunteering this, and even then she would have rationalized it in some way that it wasn't her fault.
Aug 19, 2011 9:58am
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:11 AM
gut;867346 wrote:I can't imagine a woman volunteering this, and even then she would have rationalized it in some way that it wasn't her fault.

Touche.
Aug 19, 2011 10:11am
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:15 AM
Something involving fire would be the best (and only) solution.
Aug 19, 2011 10:15am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:15 AM
thavoice;867339 wrote:If she is hot then just use her for sex and dont get too involved emotionally.

If she isnt....then let her go. If she cheated on a BF whom she had no other complaints about then she will cheat again.

Her "hotness" makes no difference here. Use her for sex regardless and then let her go.
Aug 19, 2011 10:15am
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:15 AM
ttiwwp
Aug 19, 2011 10:15am
thePITman's avatar

thePITman

Senior Member

3,867 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:22 AM
I'd kindly and respectfully walk away.
Aug 19, 2011 10:22am
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thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Aug 19, 2011 10:50 AM
justincredible;867362 wrote:Her "hotness" makes no difference here. Use her for sex regardless and then let her go.

When I said hotness I meant someone who isnt revolting and ya dont need to be wearing beer goggles to hook up.
Aug 19, 2011 10:50am
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Aug 19, 2011 11:59 AM
Totally unrelated, but I had a girl tell me on a first date that she secretly loved black men with giant penises. And, that she just wanted to put that out there before it came up later. It was odd to say the least.
Aug 19, 2011 11:59am
Devils Advocate's avatar

Devils Advocate

Brudda o da bomber

4,539 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:10 PM
Is she retarded???

If she is, you have to throw her on the "matt" and giver her one ( or two)....
Aug 19, 2011 12:10pm
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THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:27 PM
Run!!!!
Aug 19, 2011 12:27pm
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:41 PM
friendfromlowry;866101 wrote:...

So you're out to eat with this girl you just recently meant and have been talking to. ...
If I "just recently met" her and am exploring dating her there's no reason for her to tell me her past relationship info nor do I want to know it at this stage. I simply let her know that and continue with dinner.
gut;867346 wrote:... I can't imagine a woman volunteering this, ...
Agreed. Just by volunteering it tells me much about her.
Aug 19, 2011 12:41pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:52 PM
Oh boy, here we go again....
Aug 19, 2011 12:52pm
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:53 PM
Con_Alma;867491 wrote:If I "just recently met" her and am exploring dating her there's no reason for her to tell me her past relationship info nor do I want to know it at this stage. I simply let her know that and continue with dinner.

No one cares.
Aug 19, 2011 12:53pm
Heelz's avatar

Heelz

Senior Member

780 posts
Aug 19, 2011 12:57 PM
I would continue dating her and cheat on her ( sister or best friend ) and then tell her see now you know how it feels biotch!
Aug 19, 2011 12:57pm
NNN's avatar

NNN

Senior Member

902 posts
Aug 19, 2011 1:03 PM
Heelz;867518 wrote:I would continue dating her and cheat on her ( sister or best friend ) and then tell her see now you know how it feels biotch!

My dad did that to a female telemarketer one time. He's fairly chatty, so he actually was carrying on a conversation with her and found out all kinds of basic things. So, he then says that he wants to order some huge amount of whatever product was being sold, which would be a huge commission bonus to her. He then asks, "If you're mad at your husband, do you give him the cold shoulder?" The answer must have been yes, because he then says, "Well, this is what a cock tease feels like!" and hangs up on her.
Aug 19, 2011 1:03pm
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thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Aug 19, 2011 1:04 PM
Steel Valley Football;867450 wrote:Totally unrelated, but I had a girl tell me on a first date that she secretly loved black men with giant penises. And, that she just wanted to put that out there before it came up later. It was odd to say the least.

I bet you were elated to hear that, being ya both have the same secret love.
Aug 19, 2011 1:04pm
Curly J's avatar

Curly J

Self Pwner in Training.

7,282 posts
Aug 19, 2011 1:20 PM
Devils Advocate;867460 wrote:Is she retarded???

If she is, you have to throw her on the "matt" and giver her one ( or two)....

But only if she knows the Kama Sutra !!!
Aug 19, 2011 1:20pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Aug 19, 2011 1:55 PM
Steel Valley Football;867450 wrote:Totally unrelated, but I had a girl tell me on a first date that she secretly loved black men with giant penises. And, that she just wanted to put that out there before it came up later. It was odd to say the least.

I'd assume you didn't bang her since you'd be a ridiculous disappointment to her. Boom.
Aug 19, 2011 1:55pm
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Aug 19, 2011 2:56 PM
thavoice;867525 wrote:I bet you were elated to hear that, being ya both have the same secret love.


The only thing I have in common with five black men with giant penises is that we all banged your mom.
Aug 19, 2011 2:56pm
Heelz's avatar

Heelz

Senior Member

780 posts
Aug 19, 2011 3:10 PM
Steel Valley Football;867635 wrote:The only thing I have in common with five black men with giant penises is that we all banged your mom.

Aug 19, 2011 3:10pm
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Aug 19, 2011 3:16 PM
I don't always subscribe to the "Once a cheater..." theory. I cheated on a girl in college. It was so bad she walked into the dorm room and caught me in the act. My ex-girlfriend ran out of the dorm in tears. From that day forward I vowed to never do it again..... 18 years later and I never have cheated (although I have had my chances to do so).

That being said, this girl sounds like she is not relationship-worthy. As someone else said, PIHB and be done with her. From what you stated it doesn't sound like it will be too difficult of a feat to tackle.
Aug 19, 2011 3:16pm