My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad was given full custody of myself and my two brothers by my mom. She had visitation every other weekend. My dad was a hard working man. He busted his ass as a heavy equipment operator in Ohio's strip mines. My paternal grandparents stepped in to help my dad when he had to work.

My mom headed off to the party life. Free from the day to day pressure of raising children she alternated weekends of partying with being a mom. Sometimes it clashed and my brothers and I got to see the party life first hand. First time I got drunk I was 14 and it was mom's weekend. Didn't stop the keg party. Filled my cup when no one was looking. Eventually blew chunks on mom's kitchen floor. She turned into mom and gave me hell in the morning.

Eventually my mom settled down and remarried. My senior year in high school she got pregnant and had a son. Sadly his father died tragically before his birth. She resumed the party life and my youngest brother grew up with no father figure. In his teen years my mom shacked up with a semi functional drunk. That is he could hold a job.

My other brothers and I tried to intervene. Spend time, give council, etc. My brother eventually became a ward of the juvenile justice system. Has no high school diploma. Though court ordered to get his GED a year or so ago that deadline has passed unenforced.

I gave him a job and an opportunity to make some honest money. He used me to facilitate his drug habit. Weed at the time. He was unreliable. I admit my family ties kept me from throwing him to the curb. I believed I could turn him around. I soon found he was using my shop to chop "scrap" he stole as well as helping himself to any "scrap" I had in my shop. I dragged his lazy ass out of bed and made him work some of it off.

He appeared remorseful. I believed as an adult he may just turn his life around. He had a clean slate. He got a job on a masonry crew. One of my brothers loaned him some money to purchase a vehicle. I loaned him a small amount of cash as well. We all believed he was on the right path. He gave us all the shaft. Then stole again from me. I was done. One of my other brothers washed his hands as well. Only one of my brothers held out and thought his financial support would turn him around.

A while after he hit 18 my mom gave him the boot because of all the trouble he brought. Visits from detectives investigating break ins and the like. With his lifestyle he eventually cried out to mom in desperation. Her baby and battling her guilt for deserting her other sons led her to allow him back into her home. Against my advice.

He is now facing several serious felony changes. Stolen vehicle, breaking and entering, felony theft, etc. While awaiting trial he basically takes one of my brother's vehicles while this brother is at work, the who still thinks he can turn him around, and drives it without his permission likely to facilitate the acquisition of drugs. He left it on the side of the rode and my brother had no ride home. He knew what was up and of course he left the authorities out of it and got a ride home. Not wanting to bring any more shit on our little brother.

I just got off a long conversation with my mom. She told me she finally gave him the "final" boot over this. She told me she believes he has now descended into hard drugs (crack, cocaine, and hallucinogenic drugs). I told her she has to stand fast. She is old and her health is waning. Let him reap what he has sown. Hitting rock bottom is the only possible vehicle left to change him.

I don't want him to OD or be killed in a bad drug deal. I told my mom I hope the state incarcerates him for the crimes he has committed and soon. Unfortunately the laws of the people will govern him now since he will not govern himself.

Its sad when someone behaves in such a manner. Let alone family. I try not to be angry but I am human and his actions piss me off. Especially when his brothers have sacrificed to help. I know cool story bro. Not cool for this bro tho. And this bro of mine is not cool.

Just venting. I know the OC is not always the place to get good advice. Although at times pearls of wisdom can be found. I think most would agree tough love is in order here.

majorspark wrote:He is now facing several serious felony changes. Stolen vehicle, breaking and entering, felony theft, etc. While awaiting trial he basically takes one of my brother's vehicles while he is at work, the who still thinks he can turn him around, and drives it without his permission likely to facilitate the acquisition of drugs. He left it on the side of the rode and my brother had no ride home. He knew what was up and of course he left the authorities out of it and got a ride home. Not wanting to bring any more shit on our little brother.

You spelled road wrong.

coyotes22;835216 wrote:You spelled road wrong.

hahahahahahh

Also, shouldn't it be wrongly?

majordspark wrote:He is now facing several serious felony changes. Stolen vehicle, breaking and entering, felony theft, etc. While awaiting trial he basically takes one of my brother's vehicles while this brother is at work, the who still thinks he can turn him around, and drives it without his permission likely to facilitate the acquisition of drugs. He left it on the side of the rode and my brother had no ride home. He knew what was up and of course he left the authorities out of it and got a ride home. Not wanting to bring any more shit on our little brother.

You forgot the word 'one'.

I guess I need to call the grammar police.

majorspark;835220 wrote:I guess I need to call the grammar police.

No need. I already did.

I am sorry to hear about your brother, I cant imagine what you are going through. Hope all gets better for you.

Maybe they could turn your brother around.

But that sucks man.

You can only help an individual so much then they have to do the rest for themselves. You did more than your share trying to keep your brother on the right path, and I am sure it is difficult for you to witness what he is choosing to do with his life. But he is making those choices. You know the old saying about leading a horse to water.

Hope all turns out for the best for you and your family.

Your relationship with your daughter makes a little more sense now.

majorspark;835213 wrote:I know the OC is not always the place to get good advice.

Very sorry to hear of this. It must be heartbreaking for your family. Tough love is the best solution at this point.

Dang, man. Sorry to hear. Hopefully he gets some prison time and then gets his shit together.

coyotes22;835216 wrote:You spelled road wrong.

Tobias Fünke;835217 wrote:hahahahahahh

Also, shouldn't it be wrongly?

coyotes22;835218 wrote:You forgot the word 'one'.

coyotes22;835221 wrote:No need. I already did.

We are OhioChatter. We are trolls.


In all seriousness, majorspark, I have an uncle who has been down a very similar path, and it pains me to see my dad and his older brother, as well as my grandfather (grandmother passes about 12 years ago) try to deal with him, loving him without enabling him. It sucks, and your family is definitely in my prayers.

why havent you signed him up on here yet?

It sucks when people can't make good decisions and they drag everyone else through hell with them. I hope he gets his life straightened out.

I had two cousins who led similar lives,one turned his life around and the other didn't. Our family tried to help and it worked for the one. It sounds like you have tried all you can do and the ball is in his court. Hope he scores a slam dunk and doesn't throw the ball out of bounds.

majorspark;835213 wrote:She told me she believes he has now descended into hard drugs (crack, cocaine, and hallucinogenic drugs).

only true bad asses steal money for non-addictive psychedelic drugs. kudos to him.

You did all you could and should be commended for it. Until the boy decides that he truly wants to turn himself around, there is little else that can be done for him. Rest easy.

O-Trap;835322 wrote:We are OhioChatter. We are trolls.

Just tryin to help a brother out.