Family Parenting Dynamic

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se-alum's avatar

se-alum

The Biggest Boss

13,948 posts
Jul 6, 2011 12:34 PM
Kind of a spinoff frome Ernests' thread. How does your family handle discipline of the children? In our family, the immediate family members, have carte blanche to discipline any of the kids at any time. I have whipped all 3 of my nieces in front of their parents. I know alot of parents want to be the only ones that discipline their kids. It probably helps that my family all follow the same principles as to how a child should act. So how does it work in your family??
Jul 6, 2011 12:34pm
coyotes22's avatar

coyotes22

Go Tigers

11,298 posts
Jul 6, 2011 12:40 PM
My family all lives in Cali. So its just the wifes mom, two sisters, and step dad. They babysit our kids, and have permission to spank if needed.

Her two sisters dont have kids. (yet)
Jul 6, 2011 12:40pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Jul 6, 2011 12:46 PM
It all depends on the family member really. Some are more than welcome to smack my son across the face if he needs it, others, if they smack them, I'll be smacking them back.
Jul 6, 2011 12:46pm
K

ksig489

Senior Member

943 posts
Jul 6, 2011 1:15 PM
I have disciplined my nieces. My family is OK with it. My wife is due with our first in November...I doubt anyone in my family will discipline her (its a girl!) as none of them are nearly as strict as I am.
Jul 6, 2011 1:15pm
DeyDurkie5's avatar

DeyDurkie5

Senior Member

11,324 posts
Jul 7, 2011 12:43 AM
ccrunner609;822491 wrote:wife and I will beat the shit out of our kids to a certain age

great parent you are
Jul 7, 2011 12:43am
T

Timber

Senior Member

935 posts
Jul 7, 2011 2:22 AM
Wife spanks daughter a little bit. I have chosen not to spank (5 year old daughter) thus far... It is a personal decision based on my temper. I have a tendency to get really pissed and I would never forgive myself if I crossed the line from spanking to "beating" my daughter. I do not want to be "that poor excuse for a Father."

I really have to walk away and get control before I talk to my daughter when she is not behaving/responding in an approriate manner.

No, I would prefer that no person spanks my daughter except for me, or her mother. I just feel they should not decide if the spanking occurs. If we believe she deserves a spanking based on her actions, we will administer the spanking/punishment. I want her to know improper actions come with consequences, not just fearing to be beat/spanked. I thought my parents did a good job of administering expectations, and getting the point accross to myself and siblings. The thought that we did not want to disappoint them by mis-behaving. I miss my parents both every day since they have passed. I saw a parenting model that worked pretty well.

JMO, but I do not judge those who choose to parent differently.
Jul 7, 2011 2:22am
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Jul 7, 2011 2:25 AM
Generally we cut fingers off the children. However, if we are feeling soft, we will just lash them with a cat o nine tails 60 or 70 times.
Jul 7, 2011 2:25am
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Jul 7, 2011 8:39 AM
When my husband and I got married, my daughter was 13 and my husband's kids were 3, 8 and 10. If something happened where there was an immediate need for discipline (ie a fight, back talking), whomever was around would do it. When it was something more serious, it was always discussed between the two of us. Neither one of us were big spankers, but I never would have spanked one of his kids. I have no problems with anyone addressing my child's bad behavior, but I think spanking should be for parents only. We are very lucky and our kids are generally very well behaved.
Jul 7, 2011 8:39am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:12 AM
I have never physically spanked either of my kids but it doesn't mean that I won't if it needs to be done.

As far as other family members are concerned, if they have been disrespected by the actions of my kids I would expect those family members to act accordingly, then let me know what happened so that I might also have some "advice to give" to my kids. Any other situation that doesn't directly involve my family members I would expect them to make me or my wife aware so that we could address it.
Jul 7, 2011 9:12am
zambrown's avatar

zambrown

Senior Member

1,093 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:18 AM
Like power_i, we have been fortunate to have a very well behaved, respectful son. I think I could count on one hand the number of times he was spanked and have fingers left over. If he started to get a bit full of himself and talk back or be disrespectful, we chose to use PT (push ups, etc). Made us feel better as parents and it actually benefitted him in the long run. One summer he won a t-shirt at 3 separate youth football camps by being able to do more pushups that anyone at the camp (high schoolers included). LOL
Jul 7, 2011 9:18am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:22 AM
zambrown;823404 wrote:Like power_i, we have been fortunate to have a very well behaved, respectful son. I think I could count on one hand the number of times he was spanked and have fingers left over. If he started to get a bit full of himself and talk back or be disrespectful, we chose to use PT (push ups, etc). Made us feel better as parents and it actually benefitted him in the long run. One summer he won a t-shirt at 3 separate youth football camps by being able to do more pushups that anyone at the camp (high schoolers included). LOL


Make sure he's got those pull ups mastered too!!! There's better for him in wrestling anyway. :)
Jul 7, 2011 9:22am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:44 AM
Con_Alma;823401 wrote:I have never physically spanked either of my kids but it doesn't mean that I won't if it needs to be done.

As far as other family members are concerned, if they have been disrespected by the actions of my kids I would expect those family members to act accordingly, then let me know what happened so that I might also have some "advice to give" to my kids. Any other situation that doesn't directly involve my family members I would expect them to make me or my wife aware so that we could address it.

How old are your kids? Seems like they'd be older and moved out of the house. Good luck spanking them now. :)
Jul 7, 2011 9:44am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:47 AM
My wife and I don't have kids yet but we've had discussions about parenting styles. It's going to be a rough go once are kids are old enough to be disciplined. We were raised differently and have different views on parenting styles. She doesn't believe in spanking, at all, and I'm for it when it's needed. She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers, and not spank. I think it is perfectly fine for us to discipline in different ways. Luckily we've got a while before it even matters.
Jul 7, 2011 9:47am
coyotes22's avatar

coyotes22

Go Tigers

11,298 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:51 AM
justincredible;823421 wrote:My wife and I don't have kids yet but we've had discussions about parenting styles. It's going to be a rough go once are kids are old enough to be disciplined. We were raised differently and have different views on parenting styles. She doesn't believe in spanking, at all, and I'm for it when it's needed. She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers, and not spank. I think it is perfectly fine for us to discipline in different ways. Luckily we've got a while before it even matters.

You seem too educated to make this error. :D

SMH
Jul 7, 2011 9:51am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:52 AM
justincredible;823417 wrote:How old are your kids? Seems like they'd be older and moved out of the house. Good luck spanking them now. :)
One junior higher and one high schooler
Jul 7, 2011 9:52am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:54 AM
I plan on spanking my kids but it will be many years before I have one so we'll see.

I only have one niece but I would spank her if it was necessary. My brother and SIL would not care.
Jul 7, 2011 9:54am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 9:59 AM
coyotes22;823425 wrote:You seem too educated to make this error. :D

SMH

I'm a scientist, not a wordsmith. :)
Jul 7, 2011 9:59am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:01 AM
Con_Alma;823426 wrote:One junior higher and one high schooler

Well, I was completely wrong. Still, good luck spanking them now. When I was that age the only effective discipline was a quick smack in the mouth. :)
Jul 7, 2011 10:01am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:03 AM
justincredible;823433 wrote:... When I was that age the only effective discipline was a quick smack in the mouth. :)
Yeah, that could be considered in the family of a spanking.
Jul 7, 2011 10:03am
coyotes22's avatar

coyotes22

Go Tigers

11,298 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:07 AM
justincredible;823432 wrote:I'm a scientist, not a wordsmith. :)

That makes sense.

Off topic,,,,,,,,, IDK if youre still looking for a printing press,,,, But i just checked again, and we have two, but they are still in SC, so it would not be cost effective for you, to get them from me. Sorry, i tried.
Jul 7, 2011 10:07am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:07 AM
Con_Alma;823436 wrote:Yeah, that could be considered in the family of a spanking.

When I think spanking I can only picture an open hand to the butt. I was bigger than my mom, no way would she have been able to pull that one off.
Jul 7, 2011 10:07am
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:08 AM
coyotes22;823441 wrote:That makes sense.

Off topic,,,,,,,,, IDK if youre still looking for a printing press,,,, But i just checked again, and we have two, but they are still in SC, so it would not be cost effective for you, to get them from me. Sorry, i tried.

Oh gee thanks. "I have exactly what you want! But it's too far away so you can't have it! HAHAHAHAHA, fuck your couch!"
Jul 7, 2011 10:08am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:12 AM
justincredible;823442 wrote:When I think spanking I can only picture an open hand to the butt. I was bigger than my mom, no way would she have been able to pull that one off.
...you would physically struggle to keep your mother from spanking you??? That wouldn't be received too well in our house. Size of the person isn't the determining factor as much as respect for the authority of the one disciplining.
Jul 7, 2011 10:12am
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:15 AM
justincredible;823421 wrote:She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers,

This applies to so many things once you're married.
Jul 7, 2011 10:15am
coyotes22's avatar

coyotes22

Go Tigers

11,298 posts
Jul 7, 2011 10:18 AM
justincredible;823444 wrote:Oh gee thanks. "I have exactly what you want! But it's too far away so you can't have it! HAHAHAHAHA, fuck your couch!"

Well, crap man, if you want them that bad!!!! :D LOL

Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?!
Jul 7, 2011 10:18am