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Parents: Terrible Fives?

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ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jul 6, 2011 8:45 AM
A question for you senior parents. I've been through the "terrible twos" and those were a cake-walk. My daughter was 4.5 when our 2nd was born, and her 5th year of her life has been the most trying thus far. The disobedience, talking back, "I don't have to do it if I don't want to," the not listening, etc. Is this common for the age-range, or do you feel it is more along the lines of getting attention b/c of the younger sibling?

Been extremely trying as of late.
Jul 6, 2011 8:45am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:18 AM
Probably just wants more attention even if it's negative attention. My suggestion, go old school and get the belt.
Jul 6, 2011 9:18am
S

Sonofanump

Jul 6, 2011 9:21 AM
It is either jealousy over the newborn looking for attention or she found a brat for a friend somewhere.
Jul 6, 2011 9:21am
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:37 AM
We didn't have any problems until they actually got to kindergarten.
Jul 6, 2011 9:37am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:40 AM
Sonofanump;822275 wrote:It is either jealousy over the newborn looking for attention or she found a brat for a friend somewhere.

Yes.
Yes.
Jul 6, 2011 9:40am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:42 AM
power i;822287 wrote:We didn't have any problems until they actually got to kindergarten.

Yes.
Jul 6, 2011 9:42am
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:42 AM
Yeah that difference in age is tough on the older one and especially the parents.

My sister and I are 9 years apart and my daughter and my son are 8 years apart....much less jealousy and a built in babysitter after a few years.
Jul 6, 2011 9:42am
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Jul 6, 2011 9:45 AM
As a one time father of three daughters.. (girls are a bitch)
I love each of my daughters but each where different in mood, attention, interests, behavior and respect of my wife and me.
That respect was quickly achieved by my wife: Once in a store the girls where act badly
8,6,4 years old. After many attempts to correct the situation the solution was quick and effective and unexpected.
Note my wife is a very good tennis player with a great back hand .. with one well placed and continuous motion she was able to land a perfect back hand to all three with one cross court back hand. Turned walked out of the store to the van and drove off the kids ran to keep up and jumped into the van. They learned from that day that at anytime or place mom would not hesitate.
For me it was different I used the paddle but with a degree of understanding that this was a cause and effect of their actions. However I did provide lots of attention, support and tender moments to balance of being enforcer of punishment.

Kids learn to play their parents like a cheap fiddle as parent you have to keep the kid off balance so they will not know what to expect … harsh punishment, stern talking to or a quick back hand or fuse respond to their comment.



[video=youtube;O328z4F7WlM][/video]
Jul 6, 2011 9:45am
S

Sonofanump

Jul 6, 2011 10:07 AM
ernest_t_bass;822290 wrote:Yes.
Yes.

Reward good behavior always, ignore bad behavior at home, end it outside the home. Remind her that she is a big girl and the baby needs extra help. Do things only with her, only you and her at the park, no baby involved. She's figure it out from there.

You control her friends.
Jul 6, 2011 10:07am
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Jul 6, 2011 10:14 AM
You're probably just a bad parent.
Jul 6, 2011 10:14am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jul 6, 2011 10:57 AM
ZWICK 4 PREZ;822316 wrote:You're probably just a bad parent.

Obvi. It starts and ends with my use of a golf cart, for sure.
Jul 6, 2011 10:57am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jul 6, 2011 10:57 AM
Sonofanump;822312 wrote:Reward good behavior always, ignore bad behavior at home, end it outside the home. Remind her that she is a big girl and the baby needs extra help. Do things only with her, only you and her at the park, no baby involved. She's figure it out from there.

You control her friends.

What do you mean when you say, "ignore bad behavior at home?"
Jul 6, 2011 10:57am
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Jul 6, 2011 11:21 AM
ernest_t_bass;822355 wrote:Obvi. It starts and ends with my use of a golf cart, for sure.

Yes, the laziness almost certainly filtered to your parenting; hence the disobedience of your daughter.


On a serious note though... I wouldn't be too worried.. she's a girl and you know how women can be.
Jul 6, 2011 11:21am
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Jul 6, 2011 11:33 AM
I disagree with the always rewarding of good behavior. You behave because you are supposed to. Those that get away with murder at home are even worse when they go to school.
Jul 6, 2011 11:33am
S

Sonofanump

Jul 6, 2011 12:24 PM
ernest_t_bass;822356 wrote:What do you mean when you say, "ignore bad behavior at home?"

She is seeking attention for any act, good or bad. When a tantrum is thrown at home, ignore as best you can, if it causes no other harm, walk out of the room. You giving her bad act attention is what she wants and you are giving in to her by punishing her. It is a fine line.
Jul 6, 2011 12:24pm
S

Sonofanump

Jul 6, 2011 12:25 PM
Ironman92;822383 wrote:I disagree with the always rewarding of good behavior. You behave because you are supposed to. Those that get away with murder at home are even worse when they go to school.

A 5 year old still need the constant re-assurance. A 7 year old would be a different story.
Jul 6, 2011 12:25pm
se-alum's avatar

se-alum

The Biggest Boss

13,948 posts
Jul 6, 2011 12:27 PM
Yea, I don't agree w/ rewarding good behavior, because they should be behaving on a regular basis. Also, I don't agree w/ ignoring bad behavior at home. Are they only supposed to behave in public?? Kids react differently to a new child in the family. Just make sure you take time to have some 1-on-1 time with the older child, and have the child involved in taking care of the younger one. It seems that if they feel like an important part of helping out w/ the baby, the jealousy isn't as bad.
Jul 6, 2011 12:27pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Jul 6, 2011 12:28 PM
Order up a CODE RED on her.
Jul 6, 2011 12:28pm
SnotBubbles's avatar

SnotBubbles

Master of teh QQ

4,492 posts
Jul 6, 2011 1:16 PM
My oldest is 5 and it's just the age, I'm guessing. They are on a power trip. They realize they have some control now.
Jul 6, 2011 1:16pm
S

Sonofanump

Jul 6, 2011 2:02 PM
Sorry - I am using the wrong word for what I want here. I should be using acknowledge or affection instead of reward. We always let her know when we are proud of her behavior to reinforce.
Jul 6, 2011 2:02pm
gerb131's avatar

gerb131

Senior Member

9,932 posts
Jul 6, 2011 7:08 PM
Grandpa gave the kid a mowhawk about 3 weeks ago since then he's been an ass. Its not a hairstyle its an atitude.
Jul 6, 2011 7:08pm
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

Senior Member

35,632 posts
Jul 6, 2011 7:31 PM
Ignore bad behavior at home? Lmao that is awful advice and I'm not even a parent
Jul 6, 2011 7:31pm