Man Busted Masturbating On Flight While Shocked Passengers Looked On

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OneBuckeye's avatar

OneBuckeye

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May 31, 2011 11:44 AM
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/offbeat/wpix-man-busted-masturbating-on-plane,0,5317000.story

Did Fab take a trip to Denver recently?
DENVER (PIX11)— It has all the elements of a horror movie: a snake, a plane and a couple of horrified passengers.

A Florida man faces a $5,000 fine after he allegedly masturbated on a United Airlines flight late last week while shocked passengers looked on in disbelief.

According to reports, 25-year-old Kyle Pierce was taken into custody shortly after United Airlines Flight 340 touched down in Denver on May 19. The flight flew in from Spokane, Washington.

A teenage passenger sitting next to Pierce first alerted flight attendants, after she witnessed the unsettling scene unfold before her eyes.

"I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis," the 18-year-old woman told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. "He ejaculated and got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time."

Another passenger was alerted by a friend who saw Pierce pleasuring himself.

"My friend Zach turned to me and said, 'That man is masturbating' and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis," Grayson Miller told authorities. "I hit him with a book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom.After a while he returned."

Pearce remains in custody without bail following a court hearing Monday. If convicted of obscene and indecent exposure, he could get up to 90 days in jail in addition to a $5,000 fine.
May 31, 2011 11:44am
redstreak one's avatar

redstreak one

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1,152 posts
May 31, 2011 11:46 AM
Rosie just had to join the mile high club! lol
May 31, 2011 11:46am
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

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8,651 posts
May 31, 2011 11:47 AM
Thanks a lot Bin Laden
May 31, 2011 11:47am
dazedconfused's avatar

dazedconfused

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2,662 posts
May 31, 2011 11:48 AM
FatHobbit;786282 wrote:Thanks a lot Bin Laden

haha, beat me to it. "It's frowned upon"
May 31, 2011 11:48am
Thread Bomber's avatar

Thread Bomber

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1,851 posts
May 31, 2011 12:18 PM
Sound to me like the man was crying for help...




And no one was willing to lend him a hand :(
May 31, 2011 12:18pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

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23,151 posts
May 31, 2011 12:19 PM
Thread Bomber;786328 wrote:Sound to me like the man was crying for help...




And no one was willing to lend him a hand :(

May 31, 2011 12:19pm
Bio-Hazzzzard's avatar

Bio-Hazzzzard

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1,027 posts
May 31, 2011 12:20 PM
This is why a flight staff ejection button is needed. At least he would've made several attempts pulling the rip cord before he hit the ground.
May 31, 2011 12:20pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
May 31, 2011 12:24 PM
Bio-Hazzzzard;786330 wrote:This is why a flight staff ejection button is needed. At least he would've made several attempts pulling the rip cord before he hit the ground.
Eh, seems he was busy pulling other things.
May 31, 2011 12:24pm
Thread Bomber's avatar

Thread Bomber

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1,851 posts
May 31, 2011 12:24 PM
I think that puliing his rip chord caused the whole problem
May 31, 2011 12:24pm
Thread Bomber's avatar

Thread Bomber

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1,851 posts
May 31, 2011 12:24 PM
damn you trap!
May 31, 2011 12:24pm
B

BR1986FB

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24,104 posts
May 31, 2011 12:27 PM
Probably would've been more appropriate in the cockpit.
May 31, 2011 12:27pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

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18,820 posts
May 31, 2011 12:31 PM
"My friend Zach turned to me and said, 'That man is masturbating' and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis," Grayson Miller told authorities. "I hit him with a book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom.After a while he returned."
Grayson Miller = buzzkill.
May 31, 2011 12:31pm
karen lotz's avatar

karen lotz

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22,284 posts
May 31, 2011 12:35 PM
Heretic;786347 wrote:Grayson Miller = cockblock.


More accurate?
May 31, 2011 12:35pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
May 31, 2011 12:38 PM
karen lotz;786350 wrote:More accurate?

Nah.
Heretic;786347 wrote:Grayson Miller = cockbooked.

Better.
May 31, 2011 12:38pm
G

gut

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May 31, 2011 12:59 PM
Wait a second....Before we pass judgement, let's see a picture of the 18-yr old sitting next to him.
May 31, 2011 12:59pm
B

berry

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May 31, 2011 1:03 PM
When carjacking just isn't enough.
May 31, 2011 1:03pm
Sykotyk's avatar

Sykotyk

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May 31, 2011 1:09 PM
gut;786380 wrote:Wait a second....Before we pass judgement, let's see a picture of the 18-yr old sitting next to him.

haha
May 31, 2011 1:09pm
4cards's avatar

4cards

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2,551 posts
May 31, 2011 1:19 PM
"I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis," the 18-year-old woman told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. "He ejaculated and got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time."

...not this dudes fault. Had the 18 yr old not been reading this book, NOTHING would have CUM of this situation!

May 31, 2011 1:19pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
May 31, 2011 6:47 PM
Sometimes you just got to rub one out!!!
May 31, 2011 6:47pm
password's avatar

password

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May 31, 2011 7:12 PM
gut;786380 wrote:Wait a second....Before we pass judgement, let's see a picture of the 18-yr old sitting next to him.



May 31, 2011 7:12pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

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May 31, 2011 7:15 PM
password;786723 wrote:

Complete pardon.
May 31, 2011 7:15pm
E

enigmaax

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May 31, 2011 7:15 PM
password;786723 wrote:

Let me guess, your next question is "if you survived a plane crash she didn't, would you hit it?"
May 31, 2011 7:15pm
G

gut

Senior Member

15,058 posts
May 31, 2011 7:41 PM
enigmaax;786728 wrote:Let me guess, your next question is "if you survived a plane crash she didn't, would you hit it?"

Implausible scenario....With those airbags, she's more likely to survive.
May 31, 2011 7:41pm
like_that's avatar

like_that

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May 31, 2011 7:56 PM
We now know Lotz's name.
May 31, 2011 7:56pm
password's avatar

password

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2,360 posts
May 31, 2011 7:57 PM
enigmaax;786728 wrote:Let me guess, your next question is "if you survived a plane crash she didn't, would you hit it?"


I don't think I could give you an honest answer, until I see how much burn damage there is to her body.
May 31, 2011 7:57pm