lets_go_devils
Posts: 434
Mar 25, 2011 12:25am
.com 
Love this site. Dude basically just fucks with people on craigslist lol.
http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Here's one of my favorites....enjoy
Apologetic Nationals Fan
Original ad:
I am trying to get 2 tickets to the Nationals vs. Red Sox on Thursday, June 25th. I'm willing to pay up to $40.
From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org
Hello, I do not have tickets to the Nationals, but I do have a video tape of my 7-year-old's little league team game last week. He plays for the Arby's Allstars, and they beat the Smith Hardware Little Leaguers. I am sure it will be way more entertaining than watching the Nationals get their ass whooped for the 49th time this season.
From austin ******* to Me
Fuck yourself, asshole.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Austin, my 7-year-old son was on the computer and he read your very offensive e-mail. Now he is going around telling everyone to "fuck themselves." Me and my wife tried to raise him to be a kid who doesn't curse, but thanks to your profanity, he thinks it is okay. I demand an apology from you.
From austin ******* to Me
You want my apology? Go fuck yourself.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I did have the tickets; I was just messing around with you. They were good seats - 10 rows back from third base. I was going to sell them both for $30. I would rather burn them, however, if you don't apologize. If you do apologize, the tickets will be yours.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I'm waiting...
From austin ******* to Me
I'm sorry about your kid.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Hah, what a sucker. I made you look like little bitch in front of my 7-year-old son. I don't actually have any tickets. Thanks for helping me teach my son a lesson about how not to keep your dignity.
Mike
Love this site. Dude basically just fucks with people on craigslist lol.
http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Here's one of my favorites....enjoy
Apologetic Nationals Fan
Original ad:
I am trying to get 2 tickets to the Nationals vs. Red Sox on Thursday, June 25th. I'm willing to pay up to $40.
From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org
Hello, I do not have tickets to the Nationals, but I do have a video tape of my 7-year-old's little league team game last week. He plays for the Arby's Allstars, and they beat the Smith Hardware Little Leaguers. I am sure it will be way more entertaining than watching the Nationals get their ass whooped for the 49th time this season.
From austin ******* to Me
Fuck yourself, asshole.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Austin, my 7-year-old son was on the computer and he read your very offensive e-mail. Now he is going around telling everyone to "fuck themselves." Me and my wife tried to raise him to be a kid who doesn't curse, but thanks to your profanity, he thinks it is okay. I demand an apology from you.
From austin ******* to Me
You want my apology? Go fuck yourself.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I did have the tickets; I was just messing around with you. They were good seats - 10 rows back from third base. I was going to sell them both for $30. I would rather burn them, however, if you don't apologize. If you do apologize, the tickets will be yours.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I'm waiting...
From austin ******* to Me
I'm sorry about your kid.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Hah, what a sucker. I made you look like little bitch in front of my 7-year-old son. I don't actually have any tickets. Thanks for helping me teach my son a lesson about how not to keep your dignity.
Mike
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Mar 25, 2011 12:30am
Outstanding.
Curly J
Posts: 7,282
Mar 25, 2011 3:57am
Got it bookmarked. Been following that page for a while.
Go4alOngbOmB
Posts: 673
Mar 25, 2011 4:00am
+ infinity +1
OUTSTANDING!
OUTSTANDING!
Iliketurtles
Posts: 8,191
Mar 25, 2011 4:32am
Haha been a while since I've checked this site out. The one about the jogging partner was pretty good.
4cards
Posts: 2,551
Mar 25, 2011 7:11am
...that's great!lets_go_devils;723722 wrote:.com
Love this site. Dude basically just fucks with people on craigslist lol.
http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php
Here's one of my favorites....enjoy
Apologetic Nationals Fan
Original ad:
I am trying to get 2 tickets to the Nationals vs. Red Sox on Thursday, June 25th. I'm willing to pay up to $40.
From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org
Hello, I do not have tickets to the Nationals, but I do have a video tape of my 7-year-old's little league team game last week. He plays for the Arby's Allstars, and they beat the Smith Hardware Little Leaguers. I am sure it will be way more entertaining than watching the Nationals get their ass whooped for the 49th time this season.
From austin ******* to Me
Fuck yourself, asshole.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Austin, my 7-year-old son was on the computer and he read your very offensive e-mail. Now he is going around telling everyone to "fuck themselves." Me and my wife tried to raise him to be a kid who doesn't curse, but thanks to your profanity, he thinks it is okay. I demand an apology from you.
From austin ******* to Me
You want my apology? Go fuck yourself.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I did have the tickets; I was just messing around with you. They were good seats - 10 rows back from third base. I was going to sell them both for $30. I would rather burn them, however, if you don't apologize. If you do apologize, the tickets will be yours.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
I'm waiting...
From austin ******* to Me
I'm sorry about your kid.
From Mike Partlow to austin *******
Hah, what a sucker. I made you look like little bitch in front of my 7-year-old son. I don't actually have any tickets. Thanks for helping me teach my son a lesson about how not to keep your dignity.
Mike
ttocs14
Posts: 279
Mar 25, 2011 12:51pm
gorocks99
Posts: 10,760
Mar 25, 2011 12:59pm
Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.
LOL
karen lotz
Posts: 22,284
Mar 25, 2011 1:24pm
Original ad:
I need a dishwasher dont care what color so long as it is a good working dishwasher that is cheap. I have a truck and can pick it up if necessary.
From me to ********@*********.org:
Hello! My name Miguel, I am good working dishwasher. I work at Ricardo's Pizza as dishwasher for 5 years- me top dishwasher. Leave your dishes very clean and work for cheap. I have no driving license. You pick up, yes?
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
haha I want a dishwashing machine not a person who washes dishes. thanks though.
From Me to John *******:
Yes, I wash dishes like machine...even better! You want, yes?
From John ******* to Me:
No! No want!
I want THIS
That is called a DISHWASHER. I don't want a porto rican who washes dishes!
From Me to John *******:
Oh noooo, I no Puerto Rican. Puerto Ricans very bad dishwashers - no work ethic. I Mexican - very good work ethic! You no worry, Miguel wash all dishes on time, with pride!
Is that your dishwash machine? I use sink and soap but can use machine too.
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
NO dude I want to BUY a machine. i dont know if i can be any clearer. you dont understand me do you?
From Me to John *******:
No worry, I leave dishes clear, clean and sparkle!
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
dude you obviously have trouble reading english. here. i used a translater.
NO QUIERO CONTRATARLE. QUIERO COMPRAR UNA APLICACIÓN DEL LAVAPLATOS.
you comprende?
From Me to John *******:
que?
From John ******* to Me:
oh for crying out fucking loud dude why did i even bother
fuck this
I need a dishwasher dont care what color so long as it is a good working dishwasher that is cheap. I have a truck and can pick it up if necessary.
From me to ********@*********.org:
Hello! My name Miguel, I am good working dishwasher. I work at Ricardo's Pizza as dishwasher for 5 years- me top dishwasher. Leave your dishes very clean and work for cheap. I have no driving license. You pick up, yes?
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
haha I want a dishwashing machine not a person who washes dishes. thanks though.
From Me to John *******:
Yes, I wash dishes like machine...even better! You want, yes?
From John ******* to Me:
No! No want!
I want THIS
That is called a DISHWASHER. I don't want a porto rican who washes dishes!
From Me to John *******:
Oh noooo, I no Puerto Rican. Puerto Ricans very bad dishwashers - no work ethic. I Mexican - very good work ethic! You no worry, Miguel wash all dishes on time, with pride!
Is that your dishwash machine? I use sink and soap but can use machine too.
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
NO dude I want to BUY a machine. i dont know if i can be any clearer. you dont understand me do you?
From Me to John *******:
No worry, I leave dishes clear, clean and sparkle!
Miguel
From John ******* to Me:
dude you obviously have trouble reading english. here. i used a translater.
NO QUIERO CONTRATARLE. QUIERO COMPRAR UNA APLICACIÓN DEL LAVAPLATOS.
you comprende?
From Me to John *******:
que?
From John ******* to Me:
oh for crying out fucking loud dude why did i even bother
fuck this
chicago510
Posts: 5,728
Mar 25, 2011 1:50pm
Best website ever. Wish he came out with new ones more often.
chicago510
Posts: 5,728
Mar 25, 2011 1:54pm
Original ad:
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerely hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
WANTED - Microwave
I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY
From Me to *********@************.org:
I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerely hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.
Thank you,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot.
Sincerely offended,
Jamal
From Amy ****** to Me:
I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.
Amy
From Me to Amy ******:
So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?
From Amy ****** to Me:
I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!
From Me to Amy ******:
So you don't want the microwave?
From Amy ****** to Me:
Will you still sell it to me?
From Me to Amy ******:
I would never sell anything to a racist.
From Amy ****** to Me:
Ugh I'm done with you.
Hb31187
Posts: 8,534
Mar 25, 2011 3:09pm
Angry TV Buyer
Posted at: 2010-09-12 10:44:50
Original ad:
i want a flatscreen tv. at least 40 inches and under $500. hit me up if you got what i want
From Me to ***********@**********.org:
Hey,
I am selling my 42" Westinghouse plasma TV for $400. It is in excellent condition. I'm just selling it because I got a bigger one and don't need this one anymore. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
yeah man thats perfect. ill buy that as soon as possible. would you be able to bring it to my house? i dont have a car. im home pretty much all day every day
you can call me if you want 610-***-****
From me to jim ******:
No problem, Jim. I could bring it by tomorrow after work. Are you sure you want to buy it though? I don't want to bring it there and have you decide you don't want to buy it.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
no i definitely want it. just bring it over man
my address is 415 ********* rd, ******, PA
just call me if you have any trouble
From me to jim ******:
Okay, I'll be over tomorrow.
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
I'm very sorry I was unable to make it to your house today. I had the TV loaded in the back of my pickup truck, and I was all set to go to your house. I just decided to make a quick stop in Chester to buy some stuff from a friend, and when I got back to my truck, the TV was gone. I can't figure out what the hell happened to it. I'm thinking maybe I hit a bump and it slid out of the truck, because I do forget to close my tailgate sometimes. I don't really remember if it was in the truck when I parked it, so I am baffled.
Anyway, this is totally my fault. Seeing as how I promised you a TV and lost it, I am going to help you out. I signed you up for a 2 year subscription to Plasma TV Enthusiasts Weekly. It is an excellent magazine that will give you a lot of information on plasma TVs to help you make the right decision when buying one. It is normally $84.99 a year, but I hooked you up with my referrer discount so it will only cost you $63.50 a year. I had it sent and billed to the address you gave me, and you should get your first one in a week or two.
Once again, I am very sorry that I lost the TV that I was going to sell you, but hopefully this magazine can help you out.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
are you out of your fuckin mind i dont want any fuckin magazines!!! what the fuck.. you better fuckin cancel that shit. what the fuck were you thinking dude, im not paying for that you fuckin dumbass
From jim ****** to Me:
and its obvious YOUR TV WAS STOLEN YOU FUCKIN RETARD. why the FUCK would you leave a tv in the back of your truck in chester?
cancel the fuckin magazines..NOW.
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
Why do you want me to cancel the magazines? It is a great magazine and I got you a great deal for it. You won't find it cheaper anywhere else. Also, to put it frankly, if you were going to buy a Westinghouse plasma TV from me without even looking at it, then it is clear you still have a lot to learn about plasma TVs. Reading this magazine will make you an expert in no time.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
you fuckin asshole i dont want to pay for some stupid magazine! i just want a goddamn tv. who the fuck would want to read a fuckin weekly magazine about tvs?! cancel it right now. im serious
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
I'm sorry you feel that way about the magazine. I was just trying to help. Unfortunately I cannot cancel the magazine. When I signed you up on the phone, they gave me a confirmation number I could use to cancel the subscription. I couldn't find a piece of paper to write it on, so I wrote the number on a napkin. I think I accidentally used the napkin to wipe my face after eating wings last night, and then threw it out. I'd look through the trash to find it for you, but the garbage truck already picked it up this morning. I think they take it to the dump/recycling center in Media if you want to go look for it. It was a napkin from Taco Bell, if that helps. I usually get all my napkins there.
If you think it would be easier, you could just cancel it once you get your first magazine in the mail. You'll probably be billed for the first month, plus a $75 cancellation fee because I didn't sign you up for cancellation insurance. I just assumed you would want to keep the magazine.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
i cant believe i just read all that shit because i should have known from the first few lines that you were a fuckin idiot
i dont care if you have to blow the fuckin editor, you better find a way to get it cancelled because i am not spending a goddamn nickel on that magazine!
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
If you don't pay for it, that may screw up your credit. I remember one time I forgot to pay my TV guide subscription for about 14 months, and that really messed up my credit. I had trouble buying a house because of that. You should be careful.
Since you seem to not know a lot about the importance of your credit, I signed you up for a year subscription of In Debt Weekly, a great magazine that can teach you a lot about credit. Don't worry, I got you the same discount as before, and this magazine is actually a little bit cheaper. It is only $34.99 a year. It came with a discounted subscription to Card Times, another magazine about credit cards. That one is only $25 per year, so I signed you up for that as well. It is a decent magazine for the price.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
GL4KJHSGSKFKJS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE STOP SIGNING ME UP FOR FUCKING MAGAZINES!!!!
CANCEL THOSE RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
There is no need for that kind of language. Please do not talk to me anymore.
Unless you would be interested in a subscription to Anger Management Journal. I can sign you up for that if you want to learn how to control your temper.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
FUCK YOU
Posted at: 2010-09-12 10:44:50
Original ad:
i want a flatscreen tv. at least 40 inches and under $500. hit me up if you got what i want
From Me to ***********@**********.org:
Hey,
I am selling my 42" Westinghouse plasma TV for $400. It is in excellent condition. I'm just selling it because I got a bigger one and don't need this one anymore. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
yeah man thats perfect. ill buy that as soon as possible. would you be able to bring it to my house? i dont have a car. im home pretty much all day every day
you can call me if you want 610-***-****
From me to jim ******:
No problem, Jim. I could bring it by tomorrow after work. Are you sure you want to buy it though? I don't want to bring it there and have you decide you don't want to buy it.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
no i definitely want it. just bring it over man
my address is 415 ********* rd, ******, PA
just call me if you have any trouble
From me to jim ******:
Okay, I'll be over tomorrow.
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
I'm very sorry I was unable to make it to your house today. I had the TV loaded in the back of my pickup truck, and I was all set to go to your house. I just decided to make a quick stop in Chester to buy some stuff from a friend, and when I got back to my truck, the TV was gone. I can't figure out what the hell happened to it. I'm thinking maybe I hit a bump and it slid out of the truck, because I do forget to close my tailgate sometimes. I don't really remember if it was in the truck when I parked it, so I am baffled.
Anyway, this is totally my fault. Seeing as how I promised you a TV and lost it, I am going to help you out. I signed you up for a 2 year subscription to Plasma TV Enthusiasts Weekly. It is an excellent magazine that will give you a lot of information on plasma TVs to help you make the right decision when buying one. It is normally $84.99 a year, but I hooked you up with my referrer discount so it will only cost you $63.50 a year. I had it sent and billed to the address you gave me, and you should get your first one in a week or two.
Once again, I am very sorry that I lost the TV that I was going to sell you, but hopefully this magazine can help you out.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
are you out of your fuckin mind i dont want any fuckin magazines!!! what the fuck.. you better fuckin cancel that shit. what the fuck were you thinking dude, im not paying for that you fuckin dumbass
From jim ****** to Me:
and its obvious YOUR TV WAS STOLEN YOU FUCKIN RETARD. why the FUCK would you leave a tv in the back of your truck in chester?
cancel the fuckin magazines..NOW.
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
Why do you want me to cancel the magazines? It is a great magazine and I got you a great deal for it. You won't find it cheaper anywhere else. Also, to put it frankly, if you were going to buy a Westinghouse plasma TV from me without even looking at it, then it is clear you still have a lot to learn about plasma TVs. Reading this magazine will make you an expert in no time.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
you fuckin asshole i dont want to pay for some stupid magazine! i just want a goddamn tv. who the fuck would want to read a fuckin weekly magazine about tvs?! cancel it right now. im serious
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
I'm sorry you feel that way about the magazine. I was just trying to help. Unfortunately I cannot cancel the magazine. When I signed you up on the phone, they gave me a confirmation number I could use to cancel the subscription. I couldn't find a piece of paper to write it on, so I wrote the number on a napkin. I think I accidentally used the napkin to wipe my face after eating wings last night, and then threw it out. I'd look through the trash to find it for you, but the garbage truck already picked it up this morning. I think they take it to the dump/recycling center in Media if you want to go look for it. It was a napkin from Taco Bell, if that helps. I usually get all my napkins there.
If you think it would be easier, you could just cancel it once you get your first magazine in the mail. You'll probably be billed for the first month, plus a $75 cancellation fee because I didn't sign you up for cancellation insurance. I just assumed you would want to keep the magazine.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
i cant believe i just read all that shit because i should have known from the first few lines that you were a fuckin idiot
i dont care if you have to blow the fuckin editor, you better find a way to get it cancelled because i am not spending a goddamn nickel on that magazine!
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
If you don't pay for it, that may screw up your credit. I remember one time I forgot to pay my TV guide subscription for about 14 months, and that really messed up my credit. I had trouble buying a house because of that. You should be careful.
Since you seem to not know a lot about the importance of your credit, I signed you up for a year subscription of In Debt Weekly, a great magazine that can teach you a lot about credit. Don't worry, I got you the same discount as before, and this magazine is actually a little bit cheaper. It is only $34.99 a year. It came with a discounted subscription to Card Times, another magazine about credit cards. That one is only $25 per year, so I signed you up for that as well. It is a decent magazine for the price.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
GL4KJHSGSKFKJS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE STOP SIGNING ME UP FOR FUCKING MAGAZINES!!!!
CANCEL THOSE RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
From me to jim ******:
Jim,
There is no need for that kind of language. Please do not talk to me anymore.
Unless you would be interested in a subscription to Anger Management Journal. I can sign you up for that if you want to learn how to control your temper.
Mike
From jim ****** to Me:
FUCK YOU
power i
Posts: 1,296
Mar 25, 2011 3:27pm
I am sitting at work loling. That's some funny stuff.
C
clickclickboom
Posts: 242
Mar 25, 2011 4:34pm
Thank you for this
BORIStheCrusher
Posts: 1,893
Mar 25, 2011 7:02pm
One of my favorite sites, I check it every couple days for updates.
dwccrew
Posts: 7,817
Mar 25, 2011 8:20pm
How are people that stupid to believe this guy? They are hilarious e-mails though.
dwccrew
Posts: 7,817
Mar 25, 2011 8:28pm
Spacious Studio Apartment is fucking hilarious! I lol'd
darbypitcher22
Posts: 8,000
Mar 25, 2011 10:12pm
that's some classic stuff right there
TBone14
Posts: 6,383
Mar 26, 2011 2:50am
I haven't laughed that hard in a loooong time. Freaking hilarious.