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What do you think about paying for your kids tuition?

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ What do you think about paying for your kids tuition?
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:08 PM
I got an email from my ex today and she wants to talk about paying for our kid to go to college. I have no problem helping pay for my kid to go to college, but there will be strings attached and I want reasonable expectations. I was a terrible student at times and I'm not paying for that, but I also know that some classes are harder than others and sometimes things get in the way of your studies, so I'm willing to forgive a bad quarter/semester. I haven't really thought about what I expect from her. I have no interest in financing a religious studies degree from NYU. (http://www.ohiochatter.com/forum/threads/12597-I-am-tired-of-these-sob-stories-you-took-out-the-loans-so-don-t-cry-when-time-to-pay?highlight=children+tuition) My kid is in the 7th grade and she gets straight A's so far. She wants to be a vet, and my ex thinks we should help her get through undergrad without any debt. If she picks a reasonably priced school, I'm fine with that but I also expect her to change her mind about what she wants to do with her life so I don't want to hold her to a specific degree program.

I'm sure the next time I talk to my ex she's going to want me to semi commit to something. I don't want to promise I will pay for anything and everything, but I also don't want to make it sound like I'm not willing to pay for anything. We always get along really well and I don't want to jeopardize that. Any fellow Chatters have any experience they care to share?
Feb 14, 2011 4:08pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:09 PM
Tell her OSU or bust. Great academics, low cost, best time of your life, all wrapped into one.

Problem solved.
Feb 14, 2011 4:09pm
Pick6's avatar

Pick6

A USA American

14,946 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:10 PM
I wish my parents would pay for my schooling
Feb 14, 2011 4:10pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:11 PM
If she wants to shadow a vet for a day let me know and let me know where she lives. We have friends that practice all over the state and country.

Anywho, my dad paid for my whole college, but I had to maintain a 3.0, stay out of trouble and graduate in 4 years. I did al 3, so I graduated debt free. I don't think those are too big of restrictions.
Feb 14, 2011 4:11pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:12 PM
My wife's parents paid for performance.

If she got anything less than a B- in any class, she had to pay her parents back for that class. Also, anything beyond four years was her responsibility, if she couldn't finish in time.

I foot the whole of my college education, so I err on that side of the discussion, but I don't mind what my in-laws did.

I do NOT support paying a child's way in college with no academic strings attached.
Feb 14, 2011 4:12pm
OneBuckeye's avatar

OneBuckeye

Senior Member

5,888 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:14 PM
Put a limit to it. Such as something above four years at good state school. (Ohio State) Tell her anything over that she has to pay and go from there. I wouldn't pay for her vet school but maybe offer to help with living expenses when the time comes, if it does.
Feb 14, 2011 4:14pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:15 PM
OneBuckeye;678391 wrote:Put a limit to it. Such as something above four years at good state school. (Ohio State) Tell her anything over that she has to pay and go from there. I wouldn't pay for her vet school but maybe offer to help with living expenses when the time comes, if it does.

The class of 2010 had 3 people out of 140 that graduated vet school with 0 debt. One was a Rumpke.
Feb 14, 2011 4:15pm
S

Sonofanump

Feb 14, 2011 4:17 PM
I am married so I guess I don’t get it. Why is this between you and your ex? Why is not between each of you and your daughter individually? You should help as you see fit and should she.
Feb 14, 2011 4:17pm
OneBuckeye's avatar

OneBuckeye

Senior Member

5,888 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:18 PM
LJ;678392 wrote:The class of 2010 had 3 people out of 140 that graduated vet school with 0 debt. One was a Rumpke.

I have a few friends in the 2011 and 2012 classes at OSU and they are not anywhere close to 0 debt. Only a couple still get help from their parents.
Feb 14, 2011 4:18pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:18 PM
OneBuckeye;678397 wrote:I have a few friends in the 2011 and 2012 classes at OSU and they are not anywhere close to 0 debt. Only a couple still get help from their parents.

Average debt is like $155,000
Feb 14, 2011 4:18pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Feb 14, 2011 4:19 PM
I don't intend on having children.

Hope this helps.
Feb 14, 2011 4:19pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Feb 14, 2011 4:20 PM
LJ;678399 wrote:Average debt is like $155,000

wat
Feb 14, 2011 4:20pm
S

Sonofanump

Feb 14, 2011 4:20 PM
dlazz;678400 wrote:I don't intend on having children.

Hope this helps.

It does, less burden on the rest of society.
Feb 14, 2011 4:20pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:22 PM
dlazz;678402 wrote:wat

Current vet school graduates have an average vet school debt of something like $155,000

Fiancee's is closer to 200k
Feb 14, 2011 4:22pm
OSH's avatar

OSH

Kosh B'Gosh

4,145 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:24 PM
If she's going to be going to graduate school, make the connections to get a graduate assistantship or a teaching assistantship -- NOTHING better for higher education financing.

I do not know your financial situation, but look at schools that have ZERO tuition costs, i.e. College of the Ozarks, Berea College, etc. There are several others, but those are a couple of the top 2 in the country and are thought of pretty highly. Academics are good -- sometimes great. The only stipulations are some financial/family stuff.

I know I'll be helping my kids pay, eventually. I do not know to what extent. I have debt (a large amount), I took out a loan. My wife graduated with zero debt, which is nice. I will finish graduate school with a Master's degree and zero money lost in the process. Always apply for as many scholarships as you can. There are many resources out there to find out scholarship opportunities, even the National Wild Turkey Federation has one -- any and all of these are worth it, $500 is $500...
Feb 14, 2011 4:24pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:25 PM
OSH;678412 wrote:If she's going to be going to graduate school, make the connections to get a graduate assistantship or a teaching assistantship -- NOTHING better for higher education financing.

..

Most Veterinary School does not offer those. Scholarships only, and they will only cover part.
Feb 14, 2011 4:25pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:27 PM
Sonofanump;678396 wrote:I am married so I guess I don’t get it. Why is this between you and your ex? Why is not between each of you and your daughter individually? You should help as you see fit and should she.

I agree with that to an extent. But her mother wants to make sure that our child gets an education. I could lie to her and say I was going to pay and then when she is ready to go to college just tell her to piss off. But I won't do that. If I tell her that it's none of her business she could try to get my child support increased and I would prefer to just play nice and not get the courts involved because they never help me out at all. Plus I do want to help her get an education as long as she's not blowing my money.
Feb 14, 2011 4:27pm
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:28 PM
I don't plan on paying for my kids to go to school. IF they do everything possible (scholarships, grants, savings) and still cannot cover it all I will consider helping. There will also be restrictions for that (GPA, time limit).
Feb 14, 2011 4:28pm
O-Trap's avatar

O-Trap

Chief Shenanigans Officer

14,994 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:28 PM
In that case, tell her that you will help, but tell her that the times will determine the amount. A lot can happen between now and then.
Feb 14, 2011 4:28pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:29 PM
sleeper;678379 wrote:Tell her OSU or bust. Great academics, low cost, best time of your life, all wrapped into one.

Problem solved.

I agree with that to a point too. I won't force her to go to OSU, but I might tell her anything above OSU's tuition and she's on her own. Plus I don't know many people who get out of OSU in four years. (I know some, so it does happen, but most of the people I know took at least five years.)
Feb 14, 2011 4:29pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Feb 14, 2011 4:30 PM
LJ;678408 wrote:Current vet school graduates have an average vet school debt of something like $155,000

Fiancee's is closer to 200k

oh VET school. I thought you meant undergrad. carry on.
Feb 14, 2011 4:30pm
OSH's avatar

OSH

Kosh B'Gosh

4,145 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:33 PM
LJ;678414 wrote:Most Veterinary School does not offer those. Scholarships only, and they will only cover part.
But she also may change her major, which happens to most college students (something like 5 times throughout the course of college). Sometimes a person can work with a particular company/organization/person who will also help cover costs -- maybe it could happen with vets?
FatHobbit;678416 wrote:I agree with that to an extent. But her mother wants to make sure that our child gets an education. I could lie to her and say I was going to pay and then when she is ready to go to college just tell her to piss off. But I won't do that. If I tell her that it's none of her business she could try to get my child support increased and I would prefer to just play nice and not get the courts involved because they never help me out at all. Plus I do want to help her get an education as long as she's not blowing my money.
Say you'll save money...and you'll also talk to your daughter when it comes time to start thinking MORE about college.
Feb 14, 2011 4:33pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:33 PM
FatHobbit;678423 wrote:I agree with that to a point too. I won't force her to go to OSU, but I might tell her anything above OSU's tuition and she's on her own. Plus I don't know many people who get out of OSU in four years. (I know some, so it does happen, but most of the people I know took at least five years.)

Well, here's just a tip for you, if she still wants to be a vet when she is ready to apply to college, if she goes to OSU, there is a chance (slim, but a chance) that she can enter vet school after 3 years of undergrad, which would save you a ton of money.
Feb 14, 2011 4:33pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:33 PM
LJ;678382 wrote:If she wants to shadow a vet for a day let me know and let me know where she lives. We have friends that practice all over the state and country.
Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. :) I won't be surprised if she changes her mind. She's only 13 now and I think I wanted to be a vet then too. We have a friend that is pretty smart and I don't think she had the grade to get into OSU's vet school so she changed her major to something else.
LJ;678382 wrote:Anywho, my dad paid for my whole college, but I had to maintain a 3.0, stay out of trouble and graduate in 4 years. I did al 3, so I graduated debt free. I don't think those are too big of restrictions.

I like the 4 year restriction and staying out of trouble. I might be willing to go a little over 4 years if she would pick OSU or something equivalent instead of a more expensive school.
Feb 14, 2011 4:33pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Feb 14, 2011 4:34 PM
OSH;678426 wrote:But she also may change her major, which happens to most college students (something like 5 times throughout the course of college). Sometimes a person can work with a particular company/organization/person who will also help cover costs -- maybe it could happen with vets?



That is true about changing. But the last part does not happen. Most practices are single person owner etc. There aren't large companies that pay for someone to go to vet school.
Feb 14, 2011 4:34pm