For a woman:



8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at the club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
13:00 Shopping with friends.
15:00 Nap.
16:00 A dozen roses delivered by a florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
16:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror.
19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
22:00 Hot shower. Alone.
22:30 Make love.
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

For a man:

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary enroute to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
14:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay Saffire martinis.
14:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
15.15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (nude) crew.
16:30 Catch world record light tackle Marlin - 1249 lbs.
17:00 Jet back home. Enroute get massage from Kathy Ireland.
19:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak.
21:00 Relax after dinner with a 1789 Augier Cognac and Cuban Partagas
Lusitanias Natural wrapped cigar.
22:00 Have fun with three 26 year old nymphomaniacs.
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi. The girls quietly shower and leave.
23:45 Go to bed.
23:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
23:55 Giggle self to sleep.

Don't ask don't tell huh????