redfalcon
Posts: 1,088
Nov 20, 2010 11:05pm
The thread about books on tape got me thinking, and I am in a weird mood. Enjoy.
PAGE 1
One afternoon as you were surfing the internet, you stumble across a website called OhioChatter.com. You are bored, but you don't know if you want to register for this or not.
If you want to register, go to PAGE 2
If you decide you don't want to register, go to PAGE 50
PAGE 2
You quickly register, but it becomes painfully apparent that you aren't quite sure what is going on all of the time. You join in the conversation, but you have several questions, and you decide to ask your first question.
If you decide to ask what VCash is, go to PAGE 3
If you decide to ask what all the 12 dollar jokes are, go to PAGE 4
PAGE 3
You ask what VCash is, yet you can't seem to get a straight answer. Eventually you just decide to say fuck it. As you spend more time on here, you realize that there seem to be certain personalities on the boards, and it is about time you got one. After spending a bit of time, you are pretty sure that you finally have one nailed down.
To be a normal, run of the mill, sane sports fan who posts fairly, politely and objectively, go to PAGE 49
To be an obnoxious, ignorant Ohio State fan, go to page 5 (suggested for sleeper)
To be an obnoxious, ignorant Notre Dame fan, go to page 6 (suggested for Rock_Knutne)
To be an obnoxious, ignorant high school student, go to page 7 (Suggested for anyone who has a username that begins with mtr or mrt, as I can't remember which it is).
To be an obnoxious troll who wants to run the site, go to page 8 (suggested for all mods and NCF and anyone else who wants to be a mod).
To just be a troll in general, nothing specific, go to page 9
PAGE 4
You quickly mention all of the $12 comments and immediately you are labeled as a lowly noob. This stresses you out so much that you decide to relive the stress with a nice sexual hook-up.
If you are a teacher, go to page 10
If not, go to page 11
PAGE 5
You quickly decide that the local team is the one for you and that everyone needs to know it, no matter how crappy they are. 10-2? They still should be in the national championship. Other teams? Fuck 'em. Blind ignorance is bliss. Now why does everyone seem to think I am an asshole? THE END (yeah, this story kind of sucked. sorry, try again).
PAGE 6
eh, just go to Page 5 and replace the word Ohio State with Notre Dame.
PAGE 7
ah yes, the high school days, and everyone, or so you seem to think, needs to know every fucking pointless detail about your life. As for your worst day ever (you know, the day that you GF of 3 whole weeks broke up with you AND you forgot to study for the math exam) especially needs to be detailed in great length for some reason. You quickly make up 17 other usernames to try and convince everyone that you deserve sympathy and spend the rest of you life logging in and out and using different usernames to carry on a conversation with yourself. Sad. The end.
PAGE 8
Wow, you did not expect this when you woke up today. But then again, sucking justin's dick has it's perks. People look up to you (not really, but you keep telling yourself that). And at least he was nice enough to give it a spray of Cherry flavoring before you started.
If you decide that sucking justin's needle-dick is pretty damn good and that you like the way it feels (being a mod and having his penis in your mouth), go to page 12
If you decide that giving bj's just aren't your thing, go to page 13
PAGE 9
You quickly join the ranks of Art Modell, Sage, Isadore, and the hoards of other trolls who contribute little to the site. How disappointing and unoriginal. Maybe you can at least get a mention for the DBag of the year award. Eventually, after making enough random statements and getting called on you incessant posting and threadshitting, you decide
To call everyone Punkmotherfuckers and try and have your account deleted, go to page 14
To decide to let it slide go to page 48
PAGE 10
Well maybe you came to the right site after all! As a teacher, you quickly try and hook up with every high school student on the site, and succeed with about 14 of them
Go to page 15
PAGE 11
You sadly realize that you have spent so much time on the internet that you don't actually know any women. Faced with this reality, you quickly hit up craigslist, and as luck would have it, there is one person who actually seems interested. You meet up with here and learn her IQ is 12.
To fuck her anyway, go to page 16
To not fuck her, go to page 47
PAGE 12
Well you are a mod, so your choice really isn't that surprising. I don't really know what else to say. The End.
PAGE 13
Fuck that noise, sez you. You decide to open up your own major league site and leave this site far behind. In doing so, you visit 47 man-donkey porn sites and give your email address to every single one of them, but no problem, you can blame it on OhioChatter! You already use Ohiochatter to remind everyone that this website sucks and that your P.O.S. site is clearly superior. You probably don't have any friends. The End.
PAGE 14
Yeah! That'll show em! Besides, you can just come back tomorrow and act like it never happened. You know what sounds good right now? Sex. Go to Page 11
PAGE 15
Yeah right, you haven't had pussy since pussy had you. But you can still brag and talk about sex as much as possible.
To post 2000 pictures of breasts, go to page 17
To post 2000 ass pics, go to page 17
To routinely claim that you wouldn't fuck someone who is a supermodel or famous actress when a picture is posted, go to page 17
PAGE 16
Thats right, you did it.
To brag about it on teh internets, go to page 18
To no brag about it, go to page 46
PAGE 17
All of those choices are pretty fucking sad, so they all lead here. You still aren't getting laid. The End
PAGE 18
You brag about it and are surprised by the negative backlash. Seriously? you banged a retard, bragged about it and didn't see a problem with this? Moron. The end.
PAGE 46
Bullshit, you brag about it. Go to page 18
PAGE 47
You fucked her. go to page 16
PAGE 48
Go back to page 9 and actually pick something interesting.
PAGE 49
yeah fucking right, you aren't getting away with that shit. Go back to page 3 and pick something else.
PAGE 50
Seriously? Why in the hell even bother opening this thread, you dumbass you. You know what? You decided to register. I decided for you. Go to PAGE 2
PAGE 1
One afternoon as you were surfing the internet, you stumble across a website called OhioChatter.com. You are bored, but you don't know if you want to register for this or not.
If you want to register, go to PAGE 2
If you decide you don't want to register, go to PAGE 50
PAGE 2
You quickly register, but it becomes painfully apparent that you aren't quite sure what is going on all of the time. You join in the conversation, but you have several questions, and you decide to ask your first question.
If you decide to ask what VCash is, go to PAGE 3
If you decide to ask what all the 12 dollar jokes are, go to PAGE 4
PAGE 3
You ask what VCash is, yet you can't seem to get a straight answer. Eventually you just decide to say fuck it. As you spend more time on here, you realize that there seem to be certain personalities on the boards, and it is about time you got one. After spending a bit of time, you are pretty sure that you finally have one nailed down.
To be a normal, run of the mill, sane sports fan who posts fairly, politely and objectively, go to PAGE 49
To be an obnoxious, ignorant Ohio State fan, go to page 5 (suggested for sleeper)
To be an obnoxious, ignorant Notre Dame fan, go to page 6 (suggested for Rock_Knutne)
To be an obnoxious, ignorant high school student, go to page 7 (Suggested for anyone who has a username that begins with mtr or mrt, as I can't remember which it is).
To be an obnoxious troll who wants to run the site, go to page 8 (suggested for all mods and NCF and anyone else who wants to be a mod).
To just be a troll in general, nothing specific, go to page 9
PAGE 4
You quickly mention all of the $12 comments and immediately you are labeled as a lowly noob. This stresses you out so much that you decide to relive the stress with a nice sexual hook-up.
If you are a teacher, go to page 10
If not, go to page 11
PAGE 5
You quickly decide that the local team is the one for you and that everyone needs to know it, no matter how crappy they are. 10-2? They still should be in the national championship. Other teams? Fuck 'em. Blind ignorance is bliss. Now why does everyone seem to think I am an asshole? THE END (yeah, this story kind of sucked. sorry, try again).
PAGE 6
eh, just go to Page 5 and replace the word Ohio State with Notre Dame.
PAGE 7
ah yes, the high school days, and everyone, or so you seem to think, needs to know every fucking pointless detail about your life. As for your worst day ever (you know, the day that you GF of 3 whole weeks broke up with you AND you forgot to study for the math exam) especially needs to be detailed in great length for some reason. You quickly make up 17 other usernames to try and convince everyone that you deserve sympathy and spend the rest of you life logging in and out and using different usernames to carry on a conversation with yourself. Sad. The end.
PAGE 8
Wow, you did not expect this when you woke up today. But then again, sucking justin's dick has it's perks. People look up to you (not really, but you keep telling yourself that). And at least he was nice enough to give it a spray of Cherry flavoring before you started.
If you decide that sucking justin's needle-dick is pretty damn good and that you like the way it feels (being a mod and having his penis in your mouth), go to page 12
If you decide that giving bj's just aren't your thing, go to page 13
PAGE 9
You quickly join the ranks of Art Modell, Sage, Isadore, and the hoards of other trolls who contribute little to the site. How disappointing and unoriginal. Maybe you can at least get a mention for the DBag of the year award. Eventually, after making enough random statements and getting called on you incessant posting and threadshitting, you decide
To call everyone Punkmotherfuckers and try and have your account deleted, go to page 14
To decide to let it slide go to page 48
PAGE 10
Well maybe you came to the right site after all! As a teacher, you quickly try and hook up with every high school student on the site, and succeed with about 14 of them
Go to page 15
PAGE 11
You sadly realize that you have spent so much time on the internet that you don't actually know any women. Faced with this reality, you quickly hit up craigslist, and as luck would have it, there is one person who actually seems interested. You meet up with here and learn her IQ is 12.
To fuck her anyway, go to page 16
To not fuck her, go to page 47
PAGE 12
Well you are a mod, so your choice really isn't that surprising. I don't really know what else to say. The End.
PAGE 13
Fuck that noise, sez you. You decide to open up your own major league site and leave this site far behind. In doing so, you visit 47 man-donkey porn sites and give your email address to every single one of them, but no problem, you can blame it on OhioChatter! You already use Ohiochatter to remind everyone that this website sucks and that your P.O.S. site is clearly superior. You probably don't have any friends. The End.
PAGE 14
Yeah! That'll show em! Besides, you can just come back tomorrow and act like it never happened. You know what sounds good right now? Sex. Go to Page 11
PAGE 15
Yeah right, you haven't had pussy since pussy had you. But you can still brag and talk about sex as much as possible.
To post 2000 pictures of breasts, go to page 17
To post 2000 ass pics, go to page 17
To routinely claim that you wouldn't fuck someone who is a supermodel or famous actress when a picture is posted, go to page 17
PAGE 16
Thats right, you did it.
To brag about it on teh internets, go to page 18
To no brag about it, go to page 46
PAGE 17
All of those choices are pretty fucking sad, so they all lead here. You still aren't getting laid. The End
PAGE 18
You brag about it and are surprised by the negative backlash. Seriously? you banged a retard, bragged about it and didn't see a problem with this? Moron. The end.
PAGE 46
Bullshit, you brag about it. Go to page 18
PAGE 47
You fucked her. go to page 16
PAGE 48
Go back to page 9 and actually pick something interesting.
PAGE 49
yeah fucking right, you aren't getting away with that shit. Go back to page 3 and pick something else.
PAGE 50
Seriously? Why in the hell even bother opening this thread, you dumbass you. You know what? You decided to register. I decided for you. Go to PAGE 2
darbypitcher22
Posts: 8,000
Nov 20, 2010 11:09pm
I like this...pretty funny read
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Nov 21, 2010 1:11am
I hate this as it reminds me of how I have to suck Justin's needle-dick to keep my job, since I don't really add anything to this site other than dick-sucking.
redfalcon
Posts: 1,088
Nov 22, 2010 7:57pm
Bump. I worked very hard on this for at least 1 1/3 minutes, and I shared a special bit of my creativity with all of you, now read it, Bitches.
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Nov 22, 2010 8:12pm
tl;dr - I chose "die from fat lady ass suffocation."
S
Sonofanump
Nov 22, 2010 8:21pm
ernest_t_bass;571577 wrote:tl;dr - I chose "die from fat lady ass suffocation."
WLS will be disapointed.
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Nov 22, 2010 8:25pm
Sonofanump;571599 wrote:WLS will be disapointed.
He's snotbubbles over here, newb!
S
Sonofanump
Nov 22, 2010 8:33pm
ernest_t_bass;571611 wrote:He's snotbubbles over here, newb!
Sounds like you got yourselves a threesome.
S
Sonofanump
Nov 22, 2010 8:34pm
Foursome, forgot about the fat lady.
TBone14
Posts: 6,383
Nov 23, 2010 2:45pm
redfalcon;571546 wrote:Bump. I worked very hard on this for at least 1 1/3 minutes, and I shared a special bit of my creativity with all of you, now read it, Bitches.
Time well spent. I LoL'd...thrice.
FatHobbit
Posts: 8,651
Nov 23, 2010 3:01pm
lol, that takes me back. Do they even make those books anymore or do kids only play video games?