Cussing in title, change shit to poop or crap or something people don't need to pull this up at work on their screen

I have been crapped on by birds three time in my life:
Once at Cedar Point ….. Seagull standing in line for oder of fries and wham! .....back left should never saw it coming.
Disney Land walking with my family saw the group of (again) Seagulls flying at us and just knew this was not a good thing. I saw this shit heading at my wife and with my cal like reaction I was able to move her out of the away but I took a direct hit on the arm. I quickly grabbed my kids coke and poured it on my arm. I still had the gagging reaction of being shit on by a bird.
Today when I went out for lunch I had my sunroof ¾ open. No idea what type of bird or where this bird was but I took a side shoulder blast of bird crap. Yes I still gagged…………
Do you have a bird crap story?