4/22/10 - Hi, everyone. NFL.com has asked me to live blog my NFL draft day experience. I’m here at home with my family and ESPN’s Erin Andrews. Sit back and relax and enjoy!!!! J

7:30
It's great to be enjoying this experience with my family and the great Erin Andrews. Right now they are setting up a bunch of camera equipment and stuff. They will be doing interviews throughout this process to get inside the mind of a first round choice in the NFL draft! Let's get to this party started!

7:37
Sam Bradford to the Rams! Great choice. I was still holding out hope of going first but if it wasn’t me I wanted it to be Sam. Congrats, Sam, and good luck in St Louis!!!!!

8:10
Well, I’m out of the top five. Not too surprising once the Rams passed on me. Most of the rest of the teams had different needs. Seahawks on the clock!!! Hmmm…I wonder which pro-ready quarterback they’re going to select LOL.

8:15
Russell Okung. Okay, well, left tackle is a very important position (as I learned from The Blind Side ). Plus they have a pick at 14, so maybe they’re hoping they can pick me up there. Hope I’m still available.

8:25
No surprise the Browns didn’t take me. Mike Holmgren said he really didn’t like me. I respect Mike Holmgren, but honestly, he can lick my balls.

And the Jags take Tyson Alualu. There went Tim Tebow’s best chance to go in the first round. Where’s your God now, pal? Ha ha j/k!!!

8:40
Just talked to Erin Andrews. She keeps asking me how it feels to be plummeting down the draft board. It feels like shit, Erin.

9:00
Just got a call from Pete Carroll!!!!! He wanted to know how Golden Tate was as a teammate. I told him he was pretty good but he cost me a lot of interceptions with his shoddy route-running. Hopefully he’ll be impressed with my knowledgeable scouting report and want to pick me for his team.

9:04
I’m losing millions of dollars right now, but money’s not important to me. The most important thing is getting into a situation where Goddamn it, the Seahawks passed on me again?? Jesus, I’m the 2010 version of Brady Quinn, with an arm.

9:10
This is getting stressful. I need to hear some Third Eye Blind, like, now.

9:28
Steelers take a center. Thought they might want to part with their – ahem - troubled quarterback in favor of someone who doesn’t get subpoenaed every time he leaves the house. No such luck!

9:30
Things could be worse. I could be in the green room with fucking Jahvid Best and Brandon Ghee watching millions of dollars go down the toilet while hiding my face behind a napkin holder. No thanks! I prefer to be humiliated in front of my parents and Erin Andrews.

9:45
Thought the Broncos might go for a QB here, but I guess they had a need at wide receiver. Trying to stay positive here, folks! Hey, at least they didn’t draft Tebow, LOL!!!

10:00
Okay, I have a chance to win a free iPod here. What’s the name of the current vice-president?

10:02
Broncos on the clock. I can hardly sit still...

10:05
Here's the pick...

10:06
WHAT???????!!!!?!?? No. No no no no no. This is not happening

10:06
We are through the looking glass, people

10:06
Tim Fucking Tebow. Fourth round talent. Slow, loping arm motion. Unnecessary eye black. Family focusing. I don't even...okay I'm going to stop now before I type something I regret. Lord knows when you're a draft prospect you have to measure your words, right Jon Gruden?

10:07
Okay, I’m calm now. I have it in perspective. Things happen for a reason and I’m sure God has a plan for me. (Hear that everybody? I’m holy. Draft me!)

10:30
And…the Cardinals select a nosetackle.

10:33
Note to GM’s: see how I am handling myself with grace and dignity? That’s the way I would handle myself in the pocket.

10:35
Just got a call on my cell phone and was all excited but it turned out to be my girlfriend. Fuck you, Ashley.


End of Day 1

Day 2
Good evening! I’m back! I spent all day praying and doing up downs, as usual. The Vikings have the second pick and I’ve got a good feeling about them. I bet they didn’t expect the NFL’s most pro-ready quarterback to fall into their laps. It’s your lucky day, purple and gold!

7:30
Chris Cook (???) to the Vikings.

8:05
Zane Beadles. Zane Beadles was drafted before me. Zane. Beadles. Is this a league-wide conspiracy to humble me? I’m humbled! Draft me, motherfuckers!!

8:10
What

8:10
The

8:10
Fuck

8:30
I just spent the last 20 minutes punching a pillow.

9:00
Just got a phone call from some asshole saying he was John Fox. Yea right. Get a life, asshole! You sounded more like some drunken, toothless loser than John Fox!

9:02
My agent tells me that really was John Fox. Huh. I think I just got drafted. Yay? This is the very definition of anti-climactic.

9:03
So apparently the “slotting system” is bullshit and my agent says he can get me mid-first round money, so it looks like not all is lost!

I want to thank NFL.com for letting me do this and thank all the fans for reading. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and see you in...sigh...Carolina!!!

Laley23 wrote: That was pretty funny. I love Jimmy, but good gracious that made me LOL a few times.

9:45
Thought the Broncos might go for a QB here, but I guess they had a need at wide receiver. Trying to stay positive here, folks! Hey, at least they didn’t draft Tebow, LOL!!!

trackandccrunner wrote:

9:45
Thought the Broncos might go for a QB here, but I guess they had a need at wide receiver. Trying to stay positive here, folks! Hey, at least they didn’t draft Tebow, LOL!!!

This made me laugh the most just knowing what happening 20 minutes later.

wildcats20 wrote: I like that he says he doesn't care about the money but then makes a point about his agent getting him first round money.

wildcats20 wrote: I like that he says he doesn't care about the money but then makes a point about his agent getting him first round money.