Archive Do you visit loved ones,,,,,

coyotes22

Posts: 11,298

Apr 16, 2010 12:04am

Grave sites?

My grandfather passed away 7 years ago today (04-16-03). I have not been there for a few years, and plan on going sometime this morning.

I know some people are weird about the dead. Is it weird to just go "visit" for a few mins, and check things out?

Do you visit someone who has passed?

LJ

Posts: 16,351

Apr 16, 2010 12:05am

my mom is real big on keeping her family members' grave sites pretty, so i used to visit all the tiem.

CenterBHSFan

Posts: 6,115

Apr 16, 2010 12:10am

I do. Not nearly as often as I should though.

LJ, my family is big on upkeep of graves also. Even in winter.

THE4RINGZ

Posts: 16,816

Apr 16, 2010 12:19am

I go to my son's grave on days that would have meant something to us. Superbowl sunday, the day of the first high school football game of the season, OSU v. Michigan game.

I find it kind of creepy to go visit his grave other times. If I am on the road the cemetery is on I stop in, but don't go out of my way.

LJ

Posts: 16,351

Apr 16, 2010 12:22am

THE4RINGZ wrote: I go to my son's grave on days that would have meant something to us. Superbowl sunday, the day of the first high school football game of the season, OSU v. Michigan game.

I find it kind of creepy to go visit his grave other times. If I am on the road the cemetery is on I stop in, but don't go out of my way.

Sorry to hear that, didn't know you had lost a child.

THE4RINGZ

Posts: 16,816

Apr 16, 2010 12:22am

I forgot this..... In September he would have turned 21 so on his birthday I will take a beer to the cemetery and toast his grave then drink the beer.

coyotes22

Posts: 11,298

Apr 16, 2010 12:23am

Sorry to hear that 4ringz,,,,,,,,

CinciX12

Posts: 2,874

Apr 16, 2010 12:43am

I typically run in a cemetery down here in Cincinnati and there are a ton of people who typically stop and look at grave sites.

Thats very cool of you 4RINGZ, I'm sorry you have to go through that though..

T

Timber

Posts: 935

Apr 16, 2010 1:15am

I go to my Mom and Dad's gravesite. Not as frequently as I would like, but I reflect on them daily, so... it feels the same to me whether I am at my house, my work, or at the cemetery.

I made a couple special trips to their gravesite: prior to traveling half way around the world to adopt a child... that they would never get to meet and when we had an auction selling the remaining contents of the only home I ever lived in with my family. Powerful moments.

I

I Wear Pants

Posts: 16,223

Apr 16, 2010 1:25am

THE4RINGZ wrote: I forgot this..... In September he would have turned 21 so on his birthday I will take a beer to the cemetery and toast his grave then drink the beer.

I tried to think of a better way to put this but I couldn't so I'll say what someone else said. That's really cool of you.

I'm the same age so that kind of scares me.

sonofsam

Posts: 2,052

Apr 16, 2010 1:28am

THE4RINGZ wrote: I forgot this..... In September he would have turned 21 so on his birthday I will take a beer to the cemetery and toast his grave then drink the beer.

I do not visit family as much as I should, but my best friend had 2 brothers murdered in 1991, and one of them was shot 4 times and lived. It was not violence or gang related, my best friends brother played college ball at the University of Washington for the Huskies... He is 6'6 335. They tried to enter a bar in NC and were denied because the bouncer (who was on parole) felt threatened by the size of this man. The former Husky lived. His two other brothers died instantly. We go to the grave every year on the night they were murdered and the brothers that are left (3 of them) stay the night. One of the deceased used to carry change in his pocket all the time, so we always empty our pockets to share the change. Both brothers have a toast poured on their grave as well. Will be back to visit again July 16th.

H

hang_loose

Posts: 802

Apr 16, 2010 2:07am

THE4RINGZ wrote: I forgot this..... In September he would have turned 21 so on his birthday I will take a beer to the cemetery and toast his grave then drink the beer.

Take an extra beer and give him a birthday toast from all of your and his friends on OhioChatter. Take your time with those beers and remember all the good times you two had.

Prayers to your family.

Glory Days

Posts: 7,809

Apr 16, 2010 2:26am

i have a related question. i have been meaning to visit a grave site. i was able to find out the cemetery, but is there a way find the specific plot once i get there?

GoChiefs

Posts: 16,754

Apr 16, 2010 5:23am

Glory Days wrote: i have a related question. i have been meaning to visit a grave site. i was able to find out the cemetery, but is there a way find the specific plot once i get there?

Depends on the cemetery. Some cemeteries keep records of who's plot is where, while others don't.

C

Con_Alma

Posts: 12,198

Apr 16, 2010 7:24am

I don't "visit" my family members at cemeteries. I don't believe they are there. I do tend to their grave sites so that they are presentable for those who might pass. I do so as a sign of respect for the person they were while on this earth.

darbypitcher22

Posts: 8,000

Apr 16, 2010 8:26am

I visit my grandma and grandpa

gorocks99

Posts: 10,760

Apr 16, 2010 9:17am

All my relevant relatives are cremated, so no grave sites. Thus, no visiting.

V

vball10set

Posts: 24,795

Apr 16, 2010 9:23am

THE4RINGZ wrote: I forgot this..... In September he would have turned 21 so on his birthday I will take a beer to the cemetery and toast his grave then drink the beer.

I'm sorry to hear this,ringz...please have a beer from your "random chatter" friend on OhioChatter

I visit my parents' graves--I just lost my mom in January, so the memory is still fresh...

coyotes22

Posts: 11,298

Apr 16, 2010 6:32pm

sorry to hear that vball!

C

cat_lover

Posts: 2,388

Apr 16, 2010 6:46pm

I visit my father and grandparents grave on a regular basis. Check on the flowers,see if the vases are still there.

I

iluvz

Posts: 262

Apr 16, 2010 7:00pm

Visit my grandma all the time. Its the most peaceful places on earth for me... Everything in the world can be wrong, but as soon as I sit there, none of it seems quite so bad or unmanageable.

hasbeen

Posts: 6,504

Apr 16, 2010 7:32pm

I, with my dad and quite a few others, visit my uncles grave right after our Turkey Bowl game on Thanksgiving. He organized it so we tend to bring a cooler of beer and give out our MVP award and just talk about the game. We know he's watching the game every year.

Before I went to college, I visited my coach's grave yearly.

I haven't been to grandmother's grave since the day of the burial(1998, I was 9) and I think I'm kind of scared to. She's buried next to my grandfather whom I've never met. I don't know why, but I feel weird about it.

GoChiefs

Posts: 16,754

Apr 16, 2010 8:51pm

My deceased family are all in the same cemetery. I stop in there every time I make the trip home since it's on my way to the parents house. I'll stop at my grandma, uncle, and aunt's grave and pay them a visit for a few minutes.

gerb131

Posts: 9,932

Apr 16, 2010 8:55pm

Not a gravesite in particular. My moms ashes are spread across a farm in Guernsey county so I visit there whenever I can. Most beautiful place on earth.

G

Gameover

Posts: 150

Apr 16, 2010 8:57pm

I used to go visit 3 of my friends bi-weekly when I lived in town. I'm only 27 (lost one in 3rd grade, another in August 2005 and one in May 2009). Now that I live out of town, anytime I go home, I go out and say hello. It's a peaceful time and gets me out of the daily involvements.

My family members that past that I was close to I visit a few times a year as my trips to their area are far and few between.