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Question for married huddlers

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FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Apr 15, 2010 8:57 AM
Sleepers thread got me thinking. What do you wish you knew before you got married, that you know now? If you were going to do it over again, what would you ask, or try to understand first?
Apr 15, 2010 8:57am
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:09 AM
One of the keys to marriage is being mature enough to handle the challenges life brings on a day to day basis. Knowing what I know now I would still do it, it is good to have someone to get through all those challenges together with.
Apr 15, 2010 9:09am
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:13 AM
I wish I would have known that he likes his sandwiches with mustard, not mayo.
Apr 15, 2010 9:13am
CenterBHSFan's avatar

CenterBHSFan

333 - I'm only half evil

6,115 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:22 AM
When I was in my very early 20's, I asked my granny about marriage.

Me: "How did you/grandpap manage the death do us part thing?"
Her: "We never hated each other at the same time."
Apr 15, 2010 9:22am
W

WebFire

Go Bucks!

14,779 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:36 AM
power i wrote: I wish I would have known that he likes his sandwiches with mustard, not mayo.
Hahahaha :D
Apr 15, 2010 9:36am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:36 AM
I am glad I was able to learn things together with my wife. Part of the rewards of marriage is experiencing growth with your spouse. I don't think I would change that at all.

Going in I knew what I knew and learned and grew together through experience the things I didn't know. That's a true contribution to the strength of our present relationship.
Apr 15, 2010 9:36am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Apr 15, 2010 9:36 AM
Been through some rough spells that I wish we would have hashed out b/f we were married. Just to get some of those things out in the open before.
Apr 15, 2010 9:36am
F

fortfan

Senior Member

339 posts
Apr 15, 2010 10:54 AM
I didn't know anything before I was married-and I don't need to know anything now, because my wife knows everything and is always right!
Apr 15, 2010 10:54am
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Apr 15, 2010 10:59 AM
CenterBHSFan wrote: When I was in my very early 20's, I asked my granny about marriage.

Me: "How did you/grandpap manage the death do us part thing?"
Her: "We never hated each other at the same time."
I like this....it goes along with "never go to bed mad at each other",although that's very hard to do!!!
Apr 15, 2010 10:59am
S

SnotBubbles

Apr 15, 2010 12:06 PM
I wish I had known my wife was such a bitch.

/thread.
Apr 15, 2010 12:06pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Apr 15, 2010 2:02 PM
SnotBubbles wrote: I wish I had known my wife was such a bitch.

/thread.
So was she a bitch before you married her and you just didn't see it, or did she turn into a bitch after you were married?
Apr 15, 2010 2:02pm
S

SnotBubbles

Apr 15, 2010 3:24 PM
I was actually just joking.

But, I will say, that after I married her...she did get a lot more bitchy. However, it's not like I've never given her any reason to be a bitch (sarcasm).

People say who say women don't change after they get married are liars. Both men and women change.

If your reason behind starting the thread is because you are considering getting married...the only advice I can offer is to make sure (110%) that she is the one. I also suggest "living in sin." I did for a year, I pretty much knew what I was getting. If you have any doubt...you will be miserable at some point in your marriage.
Apr 15, 2010 3:24pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Apr 15, 2010 3:48 PM
SnotBubbles wrote: I was actually just joking.

But, I will say, that after I married her...she did get a lot more bitchy. However, it's not like I've never given her any reason to be a bitch (sarcasm).

People say who say women don't change after they get married are liars. Both men and women change.

If your reason behind starting the thread is because you are considering getting married...the only advice I can offer is to make sure (110%) that she is the one. I also suggest "living in sin." I did for a year, I pretty much knew what I was getting. If you have any doubt...you will be miserable at some point in your marriage.
I didn't mean to call your wife a bitch. (I kinda thought you were joking, but I wasn't sure.)

I remember a quote from somewhere that women expect men to change after they are married and they are dissapointed when they don't. Men expect women to stay the same, and they are dissapointed that they change.

I'm engaged now, and already some things have changed. I have a feeling there are a lot of things both of us don't even see coming. I just wondered what other people ran into.
Apr 15, 2010 3:48pm
Thunder70's avatar

Thunder70

Senior Member

748 posts
Apr 15, 2010 4:00 PM
I wish I better understood (note, not completely understand) how women handled problems and I wish I was in a better financial position (both in quantity and in knowledge).
Apr 15, 2010 4:00pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Apr 15, 2010 4:02 PM
Every day even now after 39 years of marriage is a discovery time. I never know nor does she know but something will happen or we will do something and it will be something we did know about each other.
Those little discoveries just makes me say WOW what a interesting person I married and that is a good feeling. Yesterday I discovered she likes McDonald Coffee.... Hell I alway thought she liked StarBucks
First we never go to McDonald for anything and Second she does not drink much coffee ...good news is McDonald is cheaper than Starbucks my lucky day
Apr 15, 2010 4:02pm
S

SnotBubbles

Apr 15, 2010 5:00 PM
FatHobbit wrote: I didn't mean to call your wife a bitch. (I kinda thought you were joking, but I wasn't sure.)

I remember a quote from somewhere that women expect men to change after they are married and they are dissapointed when they don't. Men expect women to stay the same, and they are dissapointed that they change.

I'm engaged now, and already some things have changed. I have a feeling there are a lot of things both of us don't even see coming. I just wondered what other people ran into.
Haha...I know man. Even if you did...I wouldn't be angry or completely disagree with you. :D

Like I said...just make sure before you take the plunge. People will tell you that everything will change. You will believe, "no, not to me...she's different." Then about 2-3 years down the road...you'll realize people were right. So you HAVE to be 100% sure that you love her before you do it. Only true love can weather the test of marriage, and it can easily turn into a disaster.
Apr 15, 2010 5:00pm
CinciX12's avatar

CinciX12

Senior Member

2,874 posts
Apr 15, 2010 11:08 PM
Do you think that its better to be with someone that is very similar to yourself or different?

I think that for dating the answer is different than yourself, but for a marriage it would make more sense to actually have a lot in common and be similar. Easier to avoid fights basically.
Apr 15, 2010 11:08pm
CenterBHSFan's avatar

CenterBHSFan

333 - I'm only half evil

6,115 posts
Apr 15, 2010 11:16 PM
The thing to remember is that people DO change, it doesn't matter if they admit it or not.
Events in life happen, and people must adapt to them. It could be finances, locations (home), kids, jobs, deaths, etc. Those stimulants demand change in one form or another or the person(s) life becomes retarded in growth, learning, whatever.
Apr 15, 2010 11:16pm
G

Ghmothwdwhso

Senior Member

534 posts
Apr 15, 2010 11:44 PM
I knew I married Ms. right, I just didn't know her first name was always.

Credit: Rodney Dangerfield and probably others.
Apr 15, 2010 11:44pm