Adoption

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GoChiefs's avatar
GoChiefs
Posts: 16,754
Apr 6, 2010 1:21am
Anyone on this site recently adopted? Wife and I are considering it. Just wondering about costs, the process, how long it takes, etc, etc...

And yes..I know..Google it first..or call an agency, but figured I'd see if anyone on here has done it since that's what this site is for!
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
Apr 6, 2010 2:09am
You can have my kid if you want, fo free.
S
sjmvsfscs08
Posts: 2,963
Apr 6, 2010 2:14am
What's he going to do sleeper, take your kids to the bank?

I know two families that have adopted, one went perfectly and one is a disaster that probably won't end well. The first one is a buddy of mine that I went to Maumee Valley with, his parents are millionaires and decided one winter to add an adopted Russian boy to the clan. So they flew out to Moscow and then to Siberia and found some cute little boy. The kid they picked got to live the life of lavish luxury, and then rest got to stay in Siberia....one lucky kid. So this kid is now like seven and has yet to have so much as a cold; apparently the germs he was exposed to in Russia are far worse than anything in this hygienic first-world country, either that or he should be in Unbreakable II. :)

The second example is a ladyfriend of mine's family. They're rather loaded too and very religious, so they flew out to the Philippines and into some orphanage and told them to give them the child "no one else would want." Very Christ-like. However they handed them this Filipino kid that has autism and a slew of other mental problems. Long story short the kid is now an aggressive eighteen-year old and has made their life a relative hell. He literally lives each day to piss off his adopted parents; his parents are fervid Christians....so he decides to convert to Islam, and then Judaism just to fuck with them. Then there was the time he tried to kill them with a pair of scissors. They certainly have a ticket to heaven though.

So my only advice to you is if it's between a insanely-healthy Siberian or an autistic Filipino, I'd pick the Siberian.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
Apr 6, 2010 2:18am
My sperm is worth billions, my kid ain't worth SHIT.
THE4RINGZ's avatar
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Apr 6, 2010 7:48am
We adopted two girls from Korea. You have to be patient when giving through the process, nothing moves as quickly as you would like. You think there are thousands of unwanted kids in some countries nd there are, but adopting one and getting them out of the country isn't as easy as you would think.

It is worth it though all in the end. Financially it is expensive. Especially when you know some of your cash is going for bribe money.

If you want more info just shoot me a PM. Good luck.
j_crazy's avatar
j_crazy
Posts: 8,372
Apr 6, 2010 8:26am
some friends of mine adopted right as the wife and I had our baby. it wasn't a huge hassle for them, but it's kinda tough because it is very expensive and for the first like 30 days i think the biological mother can just decide to back out of the deal and you're out some time (and money i think). aside from that they had no trouble.
GoChiefs's avatar
GoChiefs
Posts: 16,754
Apr 6, 2010 9:59am
We aren't really looking to adopt a child from overseas. Thanks for the feedback so far.
THE4RINGZ's avatar
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Apr 6, 2010 10:10am
Foreign adoption while complex is often times easier than domestic adoption something to consider
Websurfinbird's avatar
Websurfinbird
Posts: 656
Apr 6, 2010 10:21am
While I know absolutely nothing about adoption, it seems to me that with the number of children in foster care in this country that more needs to be done to find those children good homes first.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Apr 6, 2010 10:22am
Chiefs... I have recently adopted. You've been a dick lately, though, so I'm not going to give you any feedback.

Thanks,


ETB
GoChiefs's avatar
GoChiefs
Posts: 16,754
Apr 6, 2010 10:27am
We have considered it rings..we've taken into thought every option. I think we are going to check into the company she works for, they find homes for physically and sexually abused children. Think that's the route we are going to take. Yes, she works for an adoption company, but she doesn't handle that side of the work and nobody she's in contact with knows anything about it.

*Edited b/c ernest has sand in his vagina*
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Apr 6, 2010 10:29am
Hmm, that was pretty low. Quite low indeed.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Apr 6, 2010 10:42am
Websurfinbird wrote: While I know absolutely nothing about adoption, it seems to me that with the number of children in foster care in this country that more needs to be done to find those children good homes first.
What more do think could be done?

It seems that most kids in foster homes are older than the age most folks seeking to adopt are looking for. In addition, it's not uncommon for foster kids to have some stings attached to their circumstances.
Laley23's avatar
Laley23
Posts: 29,506
Apr 6, 2010 10:44am
I WAS adopted 23 and 2.5 months ago. But that doesnt really help you at all.
B
bamagirl
Posts: 154
Apr 6, 2010 10:48am
GoChiefs wrote: We aren't really looking to adopt a child from overseas. Thanks for the feedback so far.
I think it is great you want to adopt within the states. There are so many kids within America that need a home. Wish you the best of luck. From what I have heard adopting from State and Local agencies is fairly cheap, it is when you elect to go with private agencies you run into high costs. Also take into account the kids background, some of them have a limited history and so they may have some unforeseen issues. Wish you guys nothing but the best!
B
bamagirl
Posts: 154
Apr 6, 2010 10:50am
Con_Alma wrote:
Websurfinbird wrote: While I know absolutely nothing about adoption, it seems to me that with the number of children in foster care in this country that more needs to be done to find those children good homes first.
What more do think could be done?

It seems that most kids in foster homes are older than the age most folks seeking to adopt are looking for. In addition, it's not uncommon for foster kids to have some stings attached to their circumstances.
I saw a stat that after a child is two they only have a 2% chance of every being adopted. That is why I have always considered adoption, and would love to be able to do it one day if the circumstances work out.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Apr 6, 2010 10:57am
I have sand in my vagina. Just so you all know.
GoChiefs's avatar
GoChiefs
Posts: 16,754
Apr 6, 2010 10:58am
bamagirl wrote: I think it is great you want to adopt within the states. There are so many kids within America that need a home. Wish you the best of luck. From what I have heard adopting from State and Local agencies is fairly cheap, it is when you elect to go with private agencies you run into high costs. Also take into account the kids background, some of them have a limited history and so they may have some unforeseen issues. Wish you guys nothing but the best!
Thanks. There will definitely be unforeseen issues with the route we will probably take. With the kids being physically and sexually abused and all. Pretty sure we want to adopt a kid that was just physically abused, since we know what kind of issues can arise with kids that were sexually abused. And considering we have an 8 yr old son now, we don't need to chance bringing that kind of environment around him.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Apr 6, 2010 11:00am
Adoption is not an event. It is a lifelong process.

There are a minimum of 5 people impacted in each adoption while the country continues to have limited availability to pre and post placement services to address potential issues which arise throughout different stages of each member of the triad's lives.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Apr 6, 2010 11:01am
GoChiefs....I wish you the best. It is a wonderful gift.
Websurfinbird's avatar
Websurfinbird
Posts: 656
Apr 6, 2010 4:58pm
bamagirl wrote:
Con_Alma wrote:
Websurfinbird wrote: While I know absolutely nothing about adoption, it seems to me that with the number of children in foster care in this country that more needs to be done to find those children good homes first.
What more do think could be done?

It seems that most kids in foster homes are older than the age most folks seeking to adopt are looking for. In addition, it's not uncommon for foster kids to have some stings attached to their circumstances.
I saw a stat that after a child is two they only have a 2% chance of every being adopted. That is why I have always considered adoption, and would love to be able to do it one day if the circumstances work out.
Didn't realize that it was at such a young age. Wow.
B
bamagirl
Posts: 154
Apr 6, 2010 5:00pm
Websurfinbird wrote:
bamagirl wrote:
Con_Alma wrote:
Websurfinbird wrote: While I know absolutely nothing about adoption, it seems to me that with the number of children in foster care in this country that more needs to be done to find those children good homes first.
What more do think could be done?

It seems that most kids in foster homes are older than the age most folks seeking to adopt are looking for. In addition, it's not uncommon for foster kids to have some stings attached to their circumstances.
I saw a stat that after a child is two they only have a 2% chance of every being adopted. That is why I have always considered adoption, and would love to be able to do it one day if the circumstances work out.
Didn't realize that it was at such a young age. Wow.
I know. It is crazy. But when I thought about it...it makes sense. Everyone wants to have the children before they are two to bond with them, and most children do not remember anything before two. That stat alone is what made me want to adopt. :)
LJ's avatar
LJ
Posts: 16,351
Apr 6, 2010 5:02pm
THE4RINGZ wrote: We adopted two girls from Korea. You have to be patient when giving through the process, nothing moves as quickly as you would like. You think there are thousands of unwanted kids in some countries nd there are, but adopting one and getting them out of the country isn't as easy as you would think.

It is worth it though all in the end. Financially it is expensive. Especially when you know some of your cash is going for bribe money.

If you want more info just shoot me a PM. Good luck.
How expensive if you don't mind me asking? My gf and I have talked and our children plans would be to have 2 of our own then adopt an Asian child.
THE4RINGZ's avatar
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Apr 6, 2010 5:18pm
It averaged $25K per child.
G
Gblock
Apr 6, 2010 5:27pm
my parents adopted four foster kids...one 13 years ago and three last year...this is definitly the cheaper route of the two